I don’t know about your neck of the woods, but it has been disgustingly hot in New York City the past few days. I’m a West Coast girl, so humidity is not my friend…at all. Where I’m from, where the sky isn’t broken, it can be super hot in the daytime but it’ll always cool off at night. On the hottest day of the year you’ll still need a light sweater in the evening. But here? 90 degrees at 10 PM. What? I’ve never understood it and I never will.
It’s important to find ways to stay cool, but let’s be honest: That can take some effort, like installing an fan in your bedroom. And who wants to do anything that takes any effort during the summer? If you’re like me and you really want some tips for beating the summer heat without breaking too much of a sweat, here’s our lazy girl’s guide to doing just that.
Dump All Your Friends Who Don't Have Central AirPfft, as if you're stepping foot into that furnace your friend calls a house. This is a great way to cull out your group of friends and also assure that you're not guilt tripped into a miserably hot get together. Later, losers. Hit me up when you get an AC that works.Source: Shutterstock
Become A MermaidYou'll be in the ocean all the time and you'll get to swim around and collect cool stuff that falls off boats. And you won't get pruned fingers. At least, I'd imagine that mermaids don't suffer from that...that might be a deal breaker.Source: Disney
Hang Out In A Grocery Store FreezerGo to your local grocery store and just chill out in the freezer all day. If anyone gives you problems, tell them that you're just super picky about your ice selection and need to try out each bag thoroughly before taking it home. They'll understand.Source: Pleated Jeans
Start Wearing Winter ClothesIf you act like it's cold, maybe you'll convince your body that it's cold. Or you'll just pass out from heat stroke. The choice is yours!Source: Shutterstock
Only Eat Popsicles For The Rest Of The SummerBreakfast, lunch and dinner will only consist of Popsicles. This may sound excessive but just think about how much wittier you'll be at the end of summer, what with reading all those terrible puns on the Popsicle sticks.Source: Shutterstock
Set Up A Temporary Camp At Your Local Movie TheaterBring all your basic necessities with you: Toiletries, food, microwave and a sleeping bag. Make sure that you're set up in the room playing a movie that totally flopped so that you won't be detected as easily.Source: Shutterstock
Date Your Neighborhood Ice Cream Truck ManHe probably won't be Rupert Grint, who does, in fact, have an ice cream truck. But hey, beggars can't be choosers and the crusty dude selling ice cream on your block might have a really great personality, okay?Source: RupertGrint.net
Say "Ice, Ice, Baby" Until You Turn Into IceThis is another mind over matter technique that you can try after your heat stroke. But be careful because if you overdo it you might just turn into Vanilla Ice. And, let's be real, nobody wants that.Source: PR Photos
MoveLook, if you're that miserable just figure out a way to move. Antarctica will guarantee a lifetime of chilly weather. And there are a ton of penguins there! Penguins are cute, yeah? Totally worth the low chances of human survival.Source: Shutterstock
Stare At A Photo Of Kristen StewartLook at a photo of Kristen Stewart and feel the chill of her blank stare seep into your veins.(Kidding, kidding.)Source: Photo Wenn
What do you do to cool off during the summer? Do you prefer humidity or dry heat? If you prefer humidity, are you from this planet? Tell us in the comments!