Sex ed is really important, obviously. There’s a lot to learn, and as we all know, sex ed could be way more informative. I know my sex ed class wasn’t really that helpful. I mean, we watched some old school film in black and white. And they were like, “So…sex.”
We often think about sex ed in the context of our lives, but what about in fictional worlds? We had a conversation last week in the office about what sex ed would be like in some of our favorite fictional stories. I obviously wanted to know what was going on with sex ed at Hogwarts.
I know Harry, Ron and Hermione had bigger things to worry about than making it to class, but come on. Wizard sex ed has to be so weird!
So I’ve come up with some information and questions regarding wizard sex ed just for you!
Separation Of Gender
I don't think witches and wizards are separated during sex ed. They literally take every class together. They live in co-ed dorms. Abraca-awkward.
Who do you think is teaching sex ed? I feel like Snape would get stuck with this because he NEVER gets to do Defense Against The Dark Arts. Can you imagine sex ed from Snape? How terrifying! Turn to page 394...
Wizards and witches seem pretty accepting of being different. I know Dumbledore was gay according to J.K. Rowling, but is sexuality addressed in wizard sex ed?
One of the things you learn in sex ed is anatomy. For wizards and witches, I'd imagine they do the same. But what about werewolves? Centaurs? Animaguses?
Do you use potions for birth control? If you don't use enough unicorn essence, do you get pregnant? Is there a spell you can cast on your uterus? But what if you do get pregnant? I don't think you can just go to your prefect for that.
Witches have babies, so they definitely get periods. Do they just cast an anti-cramp spell? Is there a potion for that? I feel like a PMSing witch is a very dangerous thing.
Do wizards even use condoms? I think they'd be able to just cast a spell to stop anything from happening. Or maybe that's cheating. Are the condoms enchanted?
I think wizard STDs would be horrible. You'd get like dragon boils or something, right? I don't think you can go to Madam Pomfrey for that.
Is there a Plan B spell? Can you conjure up a condom a la Wingardium Leviosa? Does Accio Condom work? I feel like sex would be one of those things where spells wouldn't be allowed. WHAT IF YOU APPARATED DURING SEX? There are so many questions.
Having Sex With Muggles
If you're having sex with a Muggle, you must disclose that you're a witch or wizard for safety of said Muggle. Things could get magical. Or weird. What if you accidentally cast a spell mid-sex?
What do you think sex ed would be like at Hogwarts? Tell us in the comments!