Question: if you text a guy and he doesn’t respond, should you text him again? This happens to me a lot with my boyfriend. I text him, he never answers and then I don’t know what to do. Help!
Here’s the simple answer: once you’ve texted a guy, there’s no reason to text him again. The ball is in his court and he knows it. But the more detailed answer really depends on how often he fails to respond and how long you’ve been together.
Brand new relationships (1-2 months):
For more delicate relationships only initiated recently, I suggest leaving sticking fairly strictly to the one-for-one rule and never texting twice in a row. Bugging him to elicit a response will only annoy him at best – or, at worst, extinguish some of your mystique and sap some of his interest.
Exclusive short-term relationships (2–6 months):
A relationship on the verge of serious commitment can be even more tenuous than a casual one, so approach with caution! Try to be patient and don’t stress if your flirtations (e.g. “Sexy bike shorts! lol”) go unrequited. Sure, such radio silence could indicate a lack of interest — but just as easily might indicate a preference for other forms of communication. When texting more urgent inquiries or messages, you can follow up after an appropriate amount of time (when you’re sure he’s definitely not writing back) to see if he got your message. Or, you can sneakily change the topic to something you know he’ll respond to (e.g. “Wanna get naked later?”), but ONLY USE THIS TACTIC SPARINGLY! We catch on after repeated use.
Serious long-term relationships (more than 6 months):
The great thing about serious relationships is that there’s no longer any room for gameplay. With all cards out on the table, each party knows how the other feels about him or her. If your long-term boyfriend has a bad habit of ignoring your texts, don’t bother nagging him via cellphone tag – instead, sit him down for an open conversation about communication. Explain that it upsets you when he doesn’t write back and that you’d like it to change. If he’s a dude worth dating, he’ll be willing to discuss this with you and work towards a solution. He might just hate texting, so be willing to compromise! Hopefully he’ll make an effort to be more responsive in other ways.
Ethan Fixell is a writer and comedian from New York City best known as one half of comic “dating coach” duo Dave and Ethan. He is also the creator and editor of ActualConversation.com. For more on Ethan, visit EthanFixell.com…or call his mom, Robin.