Watching a movie with the family is pretty standard bonding time, whether you call it family bonding time or not. I know that my family and I don’t necessarily call it that, but we’re not really that kind of family. When I’m home, my mom and dad and I rarely see movies as a group. But unlike them, I’m super lazy about seeing movies. Also, unlike them, I don’t get a senior discount.

Anyway, seeing movies as a family is rare, but watching an R-rated movie is rarer than Halley’s Comet. Why? Uh, I can’t be the only one who finds watching anything remotely racy and explicit with my parents to be incredibly awkward. I just can’t be. Well, I know that I’m not because GIF Girl agrees with me. Here’s her experience watching R-rated movies with her parents in GIFS!

You don’t come into the movie expecting anything gratuitous nudity. I mean, it’s a movie about something tragic like war…

 Or a comedy.

And the violence isn’t the problem.

And the language isn’t a problem, either.

Nope, the problem is when the boobs and peen start coming out.

Look, I know that it says a lot about us as a culture to be so prudish about the human body; I think it’s ridiculous. Why do we feel more freaked out by a penis on the big screen than somebody’s head getting chopped off? But I’m not going to lie: As soon as the nakedness turns into a sex scene, the awkwardness is unbearable.

Honestly, I forget to breathe. Instead of focusing on the movie, I’m worried about what my parents think if all of this sudden surprise!sex.

I turn to dad who looks stoic as ever.

But I’m sure he’s wondering just how much I know about the mechanisms of sex. 

We never had the talk, okay? Thanks, school.

Anyway, my mom looks like she is about to laugh because she feels just as embarrassed as I do.

But then she decides to cover my eyes once things get really heavy.

And I’m like…

Excuse me?

I’ve seen it all before, mom. I just turn the channel before you notice.

And speaking of watching TV, isn’t it ridiculous that when I’m watching something on TV, it looks like a puritanical dreamland when only I’m there.

But as soon as my parents come downstairs it becomes straight up soft-core porn.

I learned that the hard way with Girls and Game of Thrones. Maybe I just need to stop watching HBO around my parents. But I’m starting to think that there is some kind of conspiracy going on…

The media just wants us to feel as awkward as possible about genitals and sex around our patents. And it’s working, because I end up feeling like this.

Do you have an awkward story about watching scandalous stuff with your parents? Does watching racy stuff with your parents not bother you? Tell us in the comments!

Your Relationship With Your Parents & How You Deal With Them
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