You know that movie Never Been Kissed? It’s the one where Drew Berrymore is a journalist who has never been in a relationship and is assigned to go undercover as a high school student to report on the lives of teens living that tough late ’90s suburbia life.
Well, aside from all of that undercover junk, I’ve realized that the older I get, the more I start to relate to Drew’s character…but a little less thirsty.
So I’m going to tell it to you straight: I’m 22-years old and I’ve never been kissed. I’ve never slept with anyone. I’ve never been on a date.
And as much as I would love to have experienced all of those things, let me let you in on a little secret: It’s not the end of the world. Seriously. It’s not.
If you feel like you’re some big ol’ loser because you’ve never been kissed, or never performed oral sex in a school bathroom stall, or haven’t reached any of those touching romantic milestones yet, know this: Milestones are stupid and there is always time. Your love life isn’t a race and you’re probably awesome.
Your sexual prowess (or lack thereof) has no bearing on how desirable you are. This is something that I’ve had to learn. It wasn’t until college that I was asked out by a few guys…all of whom I turned down. It wasn’t until college that I had mutual romantic interests, but time, place and that fickle little thing called life got in the way. Things happen, moments are lost and sometimes neither things nor moments are going on and you can feel pretty dejected. Believe me, I’ve been there. I know how it feels to feel left out when your friends share their crazy hookup experiences right in front of you. I know how it feels to wonder why everyone manages to hookup or date while you’re left in the dust, even when you put yourself out there. It can really suck. It just doesn’t make sense, right?
You’re right, it doesn’t make sense. Life doesn’t make sense, and love is particularly senseless.
Yeah, it’s a little funny (ok, weird) that there are a ton of 15-year-old girls out there who are more sexually experienced than I am–and more power to them for experiencing all the awesome things that romance has to offer. But it’s really okay not to have experienced those things yet. You’re really not as alone as you think you are, honestly.
I’m very aware of the possibility that I come across as a massive loser confessing all of this, but I honestly don’t care. Sure, I’d like for my current status to change, but I’m really not agonizing over it; and any of you who are in the same situation shouldn’t worry about it either!
Of course I have moments when I feel like I’m going to be forever alone, and I’m admittedly self-conscious about how a future boyfriend or hookup would react to this information, but those moments are pretty rare and fleeting. I know that something is going to come along, so what’s the point of feeling sorry for myself? I’m funny, I’m smart and I have an awesome sense of style. I have amazing friends and I’m a pretty happy person.
Look, I may not have been kissed yet, but my awesomeness isn’t determined by whether or not I’ve pulled tongue with some dude when I was in 9th grade. And neither is yours.
And if you’ve never been kissed and don’t feel at all comforted by my words of wisdom, at least you know that somewhere out there there is a chick who managed to graduate college without getting laid. There’s still hope for you.
Have you never been kissed? Do you feel like left out when it comes to love? Tell us in the comments!