8 Tips On How To Deal With Regret After Sex

I think we’ve all been in this situation at least once in our lives: you hook up with someone and then, for whatever reason, you regret it. Like major, stomachache causing regret. Like you wish you could turn back time and go back and stop yourself from hooking up with that person regret. Maybe you just hooked up with your best friend’s crush, maybe the hookup was terrible, maybe you did it with someone you really don’t have feelings for… either way, that feeling of regret sucks.

A new study on regret just came out and some of the findings were pretty interesting. Researchers found that the majority of the women studied were more likely to regret having casual sex that never led to a relationship while the majority of men were more likely to regret not having casual sex. Basically, women are more likely to regret a hookup than men are. And, as I said before, that icky feeling of regret is kind of the worst. So how do you deal with it? For starters, read these 8 tips on how to deal with regret after a bad hookup – even if you don’t need it now, it may come in handy one day.

Have you ever regretted a hookup? How did you deal? Have you ever had a terrible hookup? Tell us in the comments. If you had sex (protected or unprotected), you can also read our article about emergency contraception.

 

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  • Anna Leigh

    I just hooked up with a girl for the first time and it was okay but I regret not saying what I do and do not like. Also, my roommate was sleeping in the other room and the whole situation just made me feel weird. I’m kind of nervous but I think I’m going to tell them that that was my first time with a female and that if we do hook up again then I’d rather take it much slower the next time. I feel better talking about it because it make me realize what went wrong.

  • girlygirlmeow

    Last night, I had sex with an amazing guy who I’ve been seeing for a short period of time. Hes very nice, laid back and easy to talk to. We’re two consenting adults who wanted it. But when I woke up this morning I didn’t feel too good about it and I don’t know why. I was asking myself if I did the right thing. He’ll be out of the country for 3 days so I don’t think I’ll be hearing from him then but I’m a little worried about when he gets back. I like him as a person and want to continue seeing him but I’m worried. Any advice out there?

  • Kay kay

    So I hooked up with this Guy, a day later I hooked up with his friend! I know I’m a slutbag….. but I’ve been regretting it all day! really feeling like complete shit!

  • Annoymous

    Had sex wid a very close friend . It started as two lonely people attracted to each other and eventhou sex was neva part it happened and I really feel ddisgusting now cuz I ave no feelings for this guy . Am really confused n I really regret n I also cnt take it back. But what irritates me most z he has started giving me attitude or it can be a misconception.

  • Guest

    I knew this guy since school. Hes been popular since he was a young child. Problem is that hes still immature and acts like a teenager. Not the type that will commit and he has been like that for years. A guy who is on a date with you and who talks about his ex’s is just plain rude. He doesnt have any respect for women and is always wanting to hook up with his past girlfriends even though they want nothing to do with him.
    I wish i could have just been more aware of this guy’s motives.

  • anonymous

    I knew this guy for a couple of weeks , They planned a chillaz sorta thing at one of their friends’ crib . They are really old guys , so I brought my friends over for drinks and snacks , we had fun in the beginning . This Guy Joined me in bed,he started touching me , I was okay with it . He made me feel his penis , had no problem with it , he fingered me ,I started becoming wet, 20 minutes after all that we started fucking in front of my friends,I don’t even know his status.They took me away from him while he was still fucking me. I know it will be all over the school by next week 🙁 I feel disguisted and ashamed of myself today(day after the incident)

  • Mary Jane

    I just hooked up with a guy last night in his car I was totally regret now. We work at the same play together and he’s a cool guy to kick it with. he’s a cute guy but Im not interested in having any sort of intimacy with him. We didnt have sex, but we did everything but that(heat of the moment sort of thing) After we hooked up I felt sooo gross I had to take a shower (which helped). I have to see him again today at the play and If he brings it up Im going to let him know that we should stay friends. What sucks is that he’s still immature and I hope he understands. Ugh I just hope the remainder of the play we can be cool and its not so awkward.

  • Anon.

    I had sex for the first time 3 weeks ago. I feel like an idiot because I should’ve stuck with my plan on telling the guy no but after I was with him for awhile, we were kissing and things just happen. It was only the second time we had hung out too. I had feelings for him but I was wrong about him and I also fell for his lies. I regret everything now because I can’t get him off my mind and another guy that isn’t looking for sex is treating me amazingly nice but I’m having a really hard time moving away from the guy that I lost my virginity to…

    • Anna Leigh

      I feel this! Except I didn’t have sex with the guy I cared about bc I felt he was being too pushy. It’s not the exact situation but I understand the feeling of not being able to move on. The guy I cared (and still care about) may not have been the guy I had sex with first but he was the first guy I developed feelings for. He’s kind of an asshole though and all I want is to move on so I’ve been doing hook ups but in all those hook ups I just wish it was him. Actually, is there advice on that? I would really like to get over this asshole but every hookup I just want him.

  • Leah

    So I slept with a guy on the second date. He was a really nice guy, but I just didn’t have any feelings for him that were more than friends. Anyways somehow we just started kissing and we ended up in the heat of the moment and had sex. The next day he was really sweet and even asked if I was his gf now and I still didn’t have feelings for him but I think the fact that he was looking for a relationship made it so much worse. I never ever EVER just hook up with ppl. This was the first time and on a 2nd date to boot! I’m not sure why I did it. Maybe I wanted to feel more for him and it ended up just not happening. I want the butterflies and excitement and the feeling beyond “friends” just wasn’t there. So now I had to tell him 2 days later that I wasn’t looking for a relationship, just friends. I feel Aweful and he says he feels like an idiot. I wish this would just go away already.

  • Anon

    Last Friday I had the best hook up ever. then I hooked up again with the same guy today, for some reason I regret it. it was a good hook up, but I think it was the fact that it was behind the stage curtain and kids were playing basketball. we were by ourselves, but I soon as we were done, his friend saw as walk back to the doors. so now his friends knows and I feel terrible.

    tip: do it in a safe place, and make sure the right people, the people you trust only know about the hook up.

  • anonymous

    I fucking screwed up and slept with a ton of ugly people. Someone at school, I thought I could trust but never liked her anyways took the liberty of trying to bully me for having made these mistakes and likes to walk around like she’s never hooked up with anyone before. It really bothers me when college students want to betray me like they’re in high school when if sex is normal you should keep be able to trust that person asking about it not to take advantage of me in return. I’ve been betrayed by anything related to sex in my life and I regret it every single day.

  • Righty

    I lost my virginity to guy I knew for two weeks,he seemed like the guy. Had Ben waiting for along but after we slept together he neve spoke to me again I’m so angr I just wanna to stab righ through the chest

  • Anna Johnson

    I just had sex for the first time with my boyfriend that I have been with for 3 months. My family is really into “saving sex for marriage” and now I have this feeling of regret and shame. I’m afraid to face them and tell them what happened. Sooner or later it’s going to slip out and I really don’t want that to happen. Should I tell them now or just keep it a secret?

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  • Kitten

    If you were raped, though, it would be best to NOT shower, correct? That way, the police can get DNA evidence of the rapist from your body. Please correct me if I’m wrong, but I definitely feel like this should be mentioned.

    • Jessica Booth

      Oh, rape is a completely different situation. This post is more about just a bad hookup – like, hooking up with someone your friend is crushing on or just having a terrible time… way less serious than something like rape. That requires much different advice to get through!