Should I Unfollow, Unfriend, Uneverything My Ex?

Even though I’m going on all of the dates lately, I still catch myself thinking about the last guy I kind of dated. We weren’t officially in a relationship, but it certainly felt like one. Feel free to read all about that disaster.

The thing is, now when I break up with someone, it’s done. I’m someone who needs to cut off contact or else I end up diving into this on-and-off cycle. After having two very long on-and-off relationships, I just can’t do it again. It’s too difficult.

But this guy wanted to be friends and still act buddy-buddy. Which was fine until I realized that I just can’t do that. Why, you ask? Maybe because I’m surrounded by social media and am getting bombarded by him ALL THE TIME.

I love social media, I really do. I just don’t want to see the guy that I want to be with all up on my Instagram and Twitter feeds when I’m trying to get over him. I was doing okay for a while because we weren’t talking that much anymore. But little by little, we’re communicating more. Or rather, he’s “communicating” with me.

He sends me Snapchats of things he’s doing and tweets at me, but then doesn’t want to have an actual conversation. And I’m here like “Helloooo why are you doing this to me?!” It’s like he knows when I’m about to get over him and then he’s all NO JK COME BACK. It’s really frustrating.

Back in the day when all of this social media didn’t exist, I found it much easier to avoid contact with people. I know I could easily unfollow him or unfriend him or whatever, but it seems really harsh to do that. He didn’t particularly do anything like one of my exes that I had to block from Facebook. The timing just wasn’t right. We don’t have ill feelings toward each other.

I just miss his face. And it’s really hard to move on and want to give other guys a chance when I’m seeing his face pop up on my phone because he won’t let me go. I really don’t know what to do.

Should I just remove him from all social media accounts? Should I talk to him about it? If I talk to him, how do I even bring it up? I feel so confused in my brain, heart and feels. HELP ME! Tell me what you think I should do in the comments!
 

At least I don’t regret hooking up with him

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  • hope

    i realy love my ex am confused i dont know what to say but all i know he blocked me evrywhere i want to tell him about the love back…ut i dont know where to start please help

  • cami

    Yes girl. I’m going through the exact same thing. Only difference is I wanted a title I wanted him to commit. And he couldn’t give me that so I let him go. I miss him like crazy but its better so just remove him from social media so you aren’t constantly reminded of him .

  • Divya

    I’ll say depend on both personality, if your ex keep on mingle on you or you are soft hearted person like me, better block to stop tormenting yourself. I encounter this problem with my ex too, at first after break up he still wants to be friend and keep in touch with me, Eventually I found out I still have feelings for him as he still act as my buddy. To clear all this mess of “beyond-friend-but-not-couple-relationship”, I decided to block him cause he will always contact me when he feel lonely, I’m like a substitute temporarily, ridiculous!

  • Divya

    I’ll depend on both personality, if your ex keep on mingle on you or you are soft hearted person like me better, better block to stop tormenting yourself. I encounter this problem with my ex too, at first after break up he still wants to be friend and keep in touch with me, Eventually I found out I still have feelings for him as he still act as my buddy. To clear all this mess of “beyond-friend-but-not-couple-relationship”, I decided to block him cause he will always contact me when he feel lonely, I’m like a substitute temporarily, ridiculous!

  • Glenn

    hey, am going through the exact same situation right now, was dating this girl who I really liked but she has been stringing me along and I know I have got to move on as it is getting me so down, I have blocked her on facebook and deleted her number and snapchat, I still cant help but think about her though! any advice? how are things for you now Caitlin?

  • Mo

    I’m too in love with him. I don’t have the courage to pree unfriend. 🙁

  • Rebecca

    KATRINA is correct. Block his face. Then you won’t miss it. And, plus side, he’ll NOTICE he can’t like your things and it’ll drivehimfreakingnuts-o! IF he actually likes/loves you he will *CALL YOU.* Sorry to be so harsh, but it’s very very very very very very true.

    He never made you his girlfriend/wife/partner for a reason.
    It’s over for a reason.
    He probably DUMPED you for a reason.
    Let the other girl/s handle that mess and move onto someone who gives a crap.

    Also, REALLY big side-but-related-note: All of you. Once the successful blocks have happened, do not let these guys back in. Be strong my sisters! If they come crawling back, deny them. Trust me, if they really like you, this will drive them wild with desire and they’ll keep trying. If not, you are, unfortunately, attracted to womanizers. 🙂

    How do I know all of this? Wellllll, I did it for too, too, too long until I met a super nice guy, who’s also a beast when and where it matters. I find that is the key. Just like we should be — be a lady everywhere, except in the bedroom; then be a bitch. Find yourself a bedroom bastard, not a full-time one.

    If you spend MORE time crying/worrying/suspecting him then you do smiling/laughing/enjoying your good memories together, he ain’t worth it! No sir ree sir!

    Good luck ladies (and gentlemen) reading this. YOU deserve to be loved. THEY deserve to be loved. It might just not be together.

    • Brittney

      Haha I absolutely loved your response. It’s true that if you feel miserable more than you’re happy, then get out! I don’t know why that’s easier said than done, but it’s so much healthier to just take the final stages of grief by cutting the guys out who don’t care than feeling bitter throughout a relationship.

    • steph

      After felling confused yesterday when I unfollowed him, now reading this makes me fell like I made the right choice. I made my self a full schedule everyday. Studying or something something that its interesting to me and helps my intelect. Cleaning, cooking, doing my nails ect. Best thing is when you do things for others (I love preaching good news) this makes me take my mind of my personal felling’ s and helping others. Also did something for me while im in central america and Im going to Costa Rica with my Friends. I know this will help out. Prayer it’s also great. Thanks alot girl! Loved your advice!

  • Andrea

    I’m going through the same exact thing. I can’t let go. He still snapchats and likes all my pics. Won’t ever text me. I deleted his number. I miss him so much. Just like you said. I miss his face. He did he wanted to stay friends. Obviously just social media friends. It’s so stupid. Where is my dignity? Thanks for posting. You made me feel less alone. I guess from the comments, the thing to do is delete/unfollow. Why is it so hard?

  • Katrina

    Okay all, I’m a little older and have more experience with this. And here is the simplest answer. BLOCK, unfriend, unfollow. It will save you time and effort and energy.

    1) You won’t be tempted to check on him. Who’s that girl he has his arm around? Let me click on her profile…Hmm who is she?
    2.) You won’t be tempted to post status updates, pictures and etc just to get his attention. Well if I post this hot pic of myself, he has to like it. Why hasn’t he liked it? I will post another one or check in at a place we liked.
    3.) Oh but how can he get a hold of me if we are cut off??? He has your cell and your email. Trust me. If a guy wants to say something and get a hold of you, he will text or call you.

    Use your time wisely. Flirt with guys online, get on a dating site, go to the gym, shop online, etc. Don’t waste it electronic spying or posting for his attention. I LEARNED this the hard way.

    • steph

      Awesome advice! I just blocked his face yesterday. ‘Let’s see what happends. Maybe nothing but thats also a good answer to me.

  • Araceli

    honestly I’m going through the same thing & I want to unfollow him. but he barely goes on Instagram I think. when I unfollow him I can’t do it it so I request to follow him again but it takes him time to accept it since he barely goes on. and I’m scared he won’t accept it. I want to move on but at the same time I dont. ANY ADVICE ANYONE? please

  • Mick

    I went through the same thing a couple years ago, and at first I told him that I just needed space and hadn’t planned on removing him from my ‘virtual’ life (i.e. facebook twitter bbm and number). After a few weeks I couldn’t stop myself from checking his profile or tempting to text him and it just made it harder to get over him. I had to cut him out of my life so I could forget and move on. Out of sight, out of mind. It was really fought and I felt bad for doing that, but it made all the difference in the world. And now we’re friends again on all forms of social media lol, but after a long year! I think severing that connection is what you need right now more than anything.

  • Kinslay

    Yes. I had to do that, and it makes things so much easier. Out of sight, out of mind! Trust me when you don’t have daily updates on what he’s doing, where he’s going, pictures of what he’s wearing, and his beautiful face it won’t hurt as much. Because every time you see it you start to think of how happy you WERE how much you want to be with him, and how you could be with him at that exact moment as he’s going to see the new Superman movie. Trust me it’s worth it. It’s not harsh, if he does come crawling back to you though just let him know the only way it’s going to work is if it’s on your terms, which is a relationship. Good Luck Gurl!

  • Superbandgeek

    I have almost uneverythinged my ex. I can’t figure out how to de-friend him on snapchat… I told him that I’m not wanting to be friends at the moment and told him not to contact me. I told him I will contact him when I’M ready.

  • Kristina

    Ugh I’m stuck in the exact same situation. :/ It’s so frustrating! Any advice?

  • kelly

    Im going through the same thing right now but i think the best thing to do would be to just delete him. it may sound harsh but it’ll be easier to get over him, by not seeing his face all day or being bombarded by all his crap. delete him and just keep it moving. If he really wants to talk then he’ll text you and have an ACTUAL conversation with you