Boards
Large breasts aren’t always the blessing that the media fools people into believing they are. Washington state teenager Britanny Minder knows this intimately, because her breasts kept her out of prom.
Minder found her dream dress, a strapless purple number designed for larger busts, only to be denied entry to her prom because of her visible cleavage.
According to the school’s dress code, strapless dresses are allowed as long as cleavage, midriff, and lower back were covered. Minder and her family don’t have a problem with the dress code, but they feel as if Minder was treated unfairly due to her physique. Minder told CNN that, due to her large breasts, she has little control over her ample cleavage. She was forced to wear a shawl before entering the prom, but only stayed for an hour due to how self-conscious she felt about the ordeal.
“An important night of in life was ruined,” said Minder. “And there’s no way I can gain that experience back.”
I know what some of you are thinking: She didn’t have to wear a strapless dress. She must have known that she was going against the dress code. Maybe she could have worn a dress that covered her cleavage.
KOKO TV
And you’re right, she could have worn a different dress, she likely knew that the school code forbade cleavage, and she didn’t have to wear a strapless dress. As a woman with a large bust, I avoid anything strapless because I know that it doesn’t exactly agree with my chest. So, okay, I understand the criticisms thrown at Minder’s decision.
However, I think that this debacle presents a much bigger discussion. Cleavage is generally believed to be deliberately arousing, but some of us with larger breasts really can’t help how much we fill out a dress. Sure, we can wear something more conservative, but it is ridiculous that we have to always defer to more safe style options because something we can’t control is considered inherently sexual. For large breasted women, unless we’re going to start wearing turtle necks and straight jackets to every formal event, dresses are usually going to show at least a little cleavage. But our cleavage is never seen as tasteful or natural; it is always seen as a deliberate tool of teasing and enticement.
Newsflash: People with large breasts aren’t always using their cleavage as a bat signal for sexy thoughts. It just happens, it’s just there, it just is. Women with large breasts shouldn’t always have to worry about being a living, breathing offense to puritanical sensibility.
This is why so many women and girls feel so ashamed and self conscious about their large breasts: They’re socialized to feel the brunt and the blame of other people’s sexual objectification of their bodies. Whether it’s disgusting men slobbering over them in public, or walking the hallways of a school, we’re treated as if we’re walking distractions, living and breathing violations of dress codes and morality.
But our breasts are not simply objects of desire, and until whoever makes these ridiculous school dress codes figures that out, this won’t be the last time that a young woman’s body is treated as if it is inherently inappropriate.
Do you think the school was right to turn Britanny Minder away from her prom? Have you dealt with a similar experience? Tell us in the comments!
10 Of Your Breast Complaints And Comments
Follow us on Twitter!
I think that in this situation, both parties are wrong. You see, prom is indeed a special night in a young woman’s life, so I think that they should have let the dress code violation slide, but I also think that perhaps one should be more careful when choosing prom attire if there is a dress code to follow. As for the larger breasts making things more difficult… well at least you’ve got breasts. Men can be very cruel to flat chested girls, and it may just be my lack of experience speaking, but it seems like being seen more sexually would be easier. I could be wrong though.
I think that both sides of the argument are right in a way. I mean, if it isn’t the girl’s fault that her boobs are big, (I’m a C34 but with a “healthy” body, which means that I’m slightly underweight by around 25 percentiles, and I’m 14) I think the school should let her wear a cleavage-y dress, but on the flip side, if its her fault (not exercising or eating right) I think the school is right. This might sound shallow, but if you can’t bother to take care of your body, you can’t expect people to be like “okay, whatever”
Honestly, I’m more concerned about the fact that several people have commented that the school was right. I mean, come on. If an uber skinny chick with teeny tiny A-cup (not that A cup is bad–I personally like smaller boobs on women, to a certain extent) had walked in with that same dress, NO ONE would have pressured her into wearing a coverup. If women have to cover up their boobs, then guys should have to wear this sleeve garment that actors wear that prevents their penis from protruding at all. It’s legitimately not fair–it is SO not our fault that society (cough MEN cough) think that women that show ANY kind of cleavage are “sluts” and “need to cover up.” Women are beautiful, they really are. And if women especially are commenting that she needs to cover up, you need to realize that dresses, in today’s world, are NOT made for larger teens, regardless of what the media is starting to suggest. They aren’t shaped any differently, simply made bigger.
I normally don’t comment on anything, but this I certainly have an opinion on. I faced a very similar set of circumstances at my prom. My school is far from conservative, but at formal events they really crack down on dress code violations. I am also a very busty woman and went high and low to find a dress in my size, let alone cute and somewhat affordable. I ended up with a strapless, purple dress with corset backing. I figured that the corset backing would at least help the girls stay in, which it did, though I had a significant amount of cleavage (more then I thought I would). One of my teachers came up to me during prom, pulled me aside and told me that my cleavage was inappropriate. So I picked up a shall and wore it the rest of the night because I was so embarrassed.
I was made all the more upset because there were many other girls who had much more questionable attire- including plunging V-necklines. One difference: breast size.
Unfortunately, with bigger breasts comes greater responsibility (that frankly is unfair). I can’t even describe to people how hard it is for young women to find shirts nowadays that don’t show some cleavage. The school is clearly in the wrong here, though they’ll hide behind “upholding the dress code”.
I am sorry that you had your prom ruined by this. I was lucky and was able to shrug it off eventually, though it did take some of the sparkle out of my special night.
I agree with the school and covering up. She wore her dress but just had to wear a shawl and it was her decision to leave. She said that her night was ruined but she should have noticed that her boobs were hanging out. Her fault she did not follow the rules.
The school was totally right! Sorry, you didn’t by a dress and then accidentally have a growth spurt. A sweetheart neckline, strapless dress is an obvious thumbing your nose at the rules. Personal responsibility people!!
Okay, she bought the dress knowing the dress code but how would you feel not being allowed to wear something you love. Se found her dream dress and quite honestly shouldn’t have been judged for something she couldn’t control. Sorry that everyone doesn’t want to get breast reduction surgery
I am still very mad that men still care more about breasts than anything else. They’re not meant to be sexual in the first place, they’re just baby bottles attached to a mother. It’s outrageous that a man can go out in public with no shirt and not be seen as offensive, but if a woman wears something that shows cleavage it is. It sickens me.
I completely agree with her! I have a very large bust as well! It is constantly seen as an object of desire, and is more or less a burden. Shame on the school for not realizing the issue.