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I have a confession to make: I love mean girls. Not the movie, just mean girls. In fiction, at least!
I don’t condone bullying or being a jerk for no reason, but I’ve always been drawn to antagonistic female cartoon characters. As viewers we’re meant to side with the protagonist, but I was always far more interested in the girls that were a total nuisance. When I watched The Wild Thornberrys, I was more intrigued by Debbie’s perpetual angst than Eliza talking to some penguin. Miranda’s disdain for Ginger in As Told By Ginger was always the highlight of the show. And while The Ashley’s of Recess confirm my suspicion that the media loves to portray every Ashley as a total snob, I loved how awful they were.
Here’s a roundup of my favorite mean girls of the cartoon world. Some are definitely meaner than others, but their commonality is pretty clear: I’m not supposed to like them, but I do.
Miranda Killgallen - As Told By Ginger
Forget Courtney Gripling, her bestie Miranda was the real mean girl at Lucky Jr. High. I'm not sure what I loved best about her. Was it her pure, unadulterated hatred for Ginger? Was it her scary cackle? Was it her deadpan delivery? The fact that she looked unimpressed 90% of the time? Ok, it's all of the above. Miranda was a real force to be reckoned with, even though she had a sweet moment or two throughout the show's run. If you don't have any love for Miranda at least find a character who rocks a high ponytail better than her. You won't find one.Angelica Pickles - Rugrats
Rugrats was my favorite childhood show, and Angelica was my favorite character. I think I related to her as a fellow fabulous only child. She embodied that independent spirit that us onlies have no choice but to embody. Sure, she was a bully, but she was also crafty and incredibly cunning. I think it's fair to say that she would have been a fellow Slytherin. Also, she had that dope toy convertible she drove around in. She was just full of fabulousness and we all need to get on her level.Judy Funnie - Doug
Judy didn't have time for Doug's silly overactive imagination or the mundane lifestyle of suburbia. Nope, Judy was too much of a thespian for that and she was always serving up some art school realness. From the undercut, to her beret, to her refusal to ever take off her sunglasses, Judy always epitomized cool in my eyes. She's probably doing performance art in the Lower East Side of Manhattan now or something.Quinn Morgendorffer - Daria
We aren't supposed to like Quinn, are we? As anyone who watched Daria knows, we're supposed to find Quinn shallow, ditzy, and annoying. And, well, she is shallow, ditzy and annoying. But for some reason, that's why I love her? She's the perfect foil for her sardonic, cynical older sister. The best part about Quinn was the fact that she actually developed as a character throughout the series. She showed her strengths and weaknesses, and even confided in Daria when she felt lost. So yes, Quinn is petty and materialistic, but she was also strangely endearing.Helga Pataki - Hey Arnold!
Who doesn't love Helga? I mean, come on. Helga wears all pink, has a unibrow, and can cough up a lougie while creating flowery, spontaneous love poems about a football-head-shaped kid. Aside from her tendency to be a total pain in the butt to just about anyone who crossed her path, she had a good heart. And honestly, if I had an overbearing beeper salesman of a father, a flawless sister, and a mom who was totally out of it 24/7, I'd probably grow a unibrow and punch weird boys as well.Vicky The Babysitter - The Fairly Odd Parents
Okay, there's nothing good to say about Vicky, really. There's no heart of gold, no positive attributes, and no explanation for her ickiness. Absolutely nothing redeeming whatsoever. But I like her anyway for some reason. At least she was consistent about her nastiness, and she got creative about it too! If I was picking my team for dodgeball or world domination, I'd definitely want her as my right hand woman.The Ashleys - Recess
Maybe I'm biased because my name is Ashley, but these girls were one of my favorite things about Recess. I mean, they had a catchphrase ("Scandalous!"), they were fashionable, and they had an amazing clubhouse underneath a pile of tires on their school playground. Other than terrorizing the other students with their grade A snobbery, these girls were awesome. A clubhouse underneath a pile of tires, come on! It doesn't get any better than that.Debbie Thornberry - The Wild Thornberrys
Look, I didn't blame Debbie for being so angst ridden all the time. I'd hate the world too if I was forced to travel the world in a tricked out trailer with my parents, my weird little sister, a monkey, and some random kid we picked up in the forrest. Her grunge style, her incessant bubblegum chewing, her raggedy copies of "Teenage Wasteland" magazine…Debbie just oozed cool when I was eight. Honestly, she still oozes cool now. I just wanna rock out to some awful heavy metal with her.Which of these gals is your favorite? Who did we miss? Tell us in the comments!
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