I’ve been with my BF for awhile and we have great sex but I never quite know what I should be doing! If I’m on top, yeah duh, I’m supposed to move, but if I’m not…?? I always wonder if I’m making too much noise or not enough or moving around enough?! Ahh I’m so confused! Am I secretly bad in bed and I just don’t know it? Help!
Confused Carly Darling,
I TOTALLY know what you mean, I felt like this for years! Part of the problem is that once you see porn or a sex scene in a movie you’re like “OMFG is that what I’m supposed to be doing?!” Um no. That’s an extreme example, not a real representation of how people actually hookup, and dudes know that (we hope). But the one thing porn girls are doing is participating.
So what does it look like if you aren’t participating? Paris Hilton’s sex tape.
Seriously. It’s widely considered to be the worst sex ever captured in human history. Why? Paris just…lays there. She makes zero noise, hardly ever looks at the dude (he was a total douche so I can’t really blame her on that one) and just generally looks bored. No guy (or girl for that matter) wants to feel like their partner would rather be somewhere else.
So, are some things to do during sex that will let your fella know that you’re really feelin’ it:
- When he’s on top, wrap your legs around his torso and squeeze him with your thighs the same time you squeeze with the little lady.
- Grab his hair, look into his eyes and bite your lip–very Angelina Jolie.
- Whisper hot things in his ear–check out my post on dirty talk to find out what!
- Grab his bum and pull him into you.
- If he’s bending you over the bed, suck on your finger and make eye contact.
- Run your fingers through your own hair–there’s a reason why “bed head” is considered sexy!
Do those things and I can guarantee you’ll stop worrying that you’re bad in bed – and I think both you and your boyfriend will be happy, too!