What To Do When A Creepy Guy Won’t Take A Hint!

Nerd Hugging Blond Woman With Glasses

Hey dude, take a hint–she’s just not that into you! | Source: ShutterStock

When a guy won’t take a hint that you’re not interested, it’s probably the most annoying thing ever save for maybe Soulja Boy’s continued existence. And for whatever reason, it happens to me all the time.

The most glaring example I can think of off the top of my head: I went out with a guy named Brian one time in October, and I didn’t even realize it was a date until I got there. (Strike one!) I wasn’t interested in him romantically at all–there was nothing wrong with him, but he just wasn’t my type. I figured I’d remain civil with him since we had a few mutual friends, and I actually considered introducing a few of my girlfriends to him to see if they’d hit it off better, because he seemed cool–I just didn’t have any urge whatsoever to make out with him.

When he asked me out again over the phone, I didn’t want to lead him on at all because that’s mean. So I explained to him very, very clearly that I thought he was awesome, but that I didn’t feel a spark. He said he understood, and that was it–and I was happy that we wouldn’t waste any more of each other’s time, but that we were still cool.

Except he didn’t understand, and that wasn’t it. Brian continued to text, Facebook and call me from October all the way until March, asking if we could go to the movies and hold hands with “fingers laced” (dude, really?), then wondering why I wasn’t talking to him. (I dunno, maybe because he asked me things like, “Can we hold hands with our fingers laced?” after I already told him I wasn’t interested.)

If you have some weirdo who just won’t leave you alone, I’m here to help. Here are ways to get that creep off your back, hopefully for good–though depending on just how creepy he is, you may have to keep up with them for a while before they work.

Be very direct.
If you sugarcoat anything to spare his feelings, it won’t work–he’ll see it as false hope and either think you’re interested or accuse you of leading him on. You may have to say something brutally honest, like, “Hey, can you get off my nuts? I don’t like you. I don’t even have nuts, but I don’t like you. Please leave me alone.”

Ignore him.
Listen, I know it sucks when a guy ghosts on you with no warning. It hurts. But if you’ve made it crystal clear to this dude that you’re not into him and he still won’t leave you alone, you need to not respond to him ever. He’ll consider any attention to be a sign to keep it up, even if all you say back is, say, “Hey, can you get off my nuts? I don’t like you. I don’t even have nuts, but I don’t like you. Please leave me alone.”

Get a decoy boy.
Have a guy friend who’d be willing to act as a surrogate boyfriend to keep creeps away? Employ him whenever you think Captain Persistent will be around in person–he’s much less likely to try anything weird if he’s getting menacing stares from another dude.

Document everything.
If he keeps it up, start documenting everything he says and does to make you uncomfortable–and also make notes of when it occurred and who else was around. If he gets threatening or just becomes to big a nuisance for you to handle, this info will be super important.

Tell an adult or authorities.
If the guy gets super creepy, threatening, or invades your privacy and makes you feel unsafe, take all that info you documented and present it to either your parents, school officials or police. You shouldn’t have to stop living your life just because some freak couldn’t take a hint–or an outright declaration–that you’re not into him.

Have you ever had to deal with a guy who couldn’t take a hint? Has a guy ever pursued you so much that it got creepy? How did you deal? Tell us in the comments!

Ex won’t leave you alone? How to deal!

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  • Gina TB

    I had this happen was part of a singles dining group and met a guy who I thought was nice and not creepy at the time. Went out on one date with him and had a horrible time. Ended up driving home that night crying to my friend on the phone. But I knew I would see him at future events so when I told my good friends in the group about my date after of course they asked how it went they agreed that they would make sure that if we were in an event together that I would never have to talk to him. One of the guys would pretend that we were dating and would always stand Close to Me Hold My Hand Etc. One of the guys finally had to tell him look she’s dating somebody and she’s not interested in you and he finally backed off. But that took a couple of months. Thank God he stopped calling me in the meantime but just seeing him at events was creepy enough

  • gumball_33

    Random people constantly judge me by my appearance and come up to me. I threaten them with the police or security. If security doesn’t listen, I threaten them with the BBB or their boss. If all else fails find something heavy to use for self defense or learn actual self defense which is what I plan to do because this is a serious violation of personal space. I’m even considering becoming a cop because of these idiots.

  • Ollia Tobin

    My situation, is a little bit… Different. I have a mutual friend (that is a guy) and a couple good girl-friends.
    Then, my mutual guy friend slowly starts hanging out with this other creepy kid. I just went along with it, because I didn’t just want to throw a year of friendship away with my good guy friend just because he was hanging out with a kid I immediately judged was creepy, and didn’t even know for sure. Over the days that we hung out with him (this was all without my good girl-friends) me and my guy friend slowly started to realize that he was really creepy, arrogant, and he did something that I like to call “self narration” where it’s literally what it sounds. (He just says stuff like “I love how i’m doing **insert here**) It was SUPER annoying, and really weird. I think he likes me. But the thing is…. he has a girlfriend, and I don’t know what to think. My guy friend says that the creepy kid doesn’t even seem like he likes him anymore, and that he’s just using my guy friend to get to me. I trust my guy friend a lot….. This kid has had a lot of different rumors that have spread about him. But the most prominent one, was when a girl didn’t like him, because he was being creepy, so she broke up with him. After the breakup, the creepy guy gave that poor unsuspecting girl a bottle of lotion….. Filled with cum. I’m pretty sure it’s true. I’m only worried, that once he breaks up with his girlfriend, I’ll be next on his list of girlfriends. I’ve been trying to ignore him, (so I could avoid this fate of being his GF) He just isn’t getting the hint, and he’s starting to make me feel uncomfortable. With all the kinds of stuff that this creepy kid says to me, I’m kinda scared of doing a straight forward approach, because he might do something to hurt me if I attempt to turn down his efforts….. ANY SUGGESTIONS FOR MY UBER COMPLICATED SITUATION WOULD HELP!!!!!!!!!!!

  • CulturalLaila

    I hate when guys are perverted like these random guys on social media will ask me for my Whatsapp and they keep on asking for my photos like that’s why I hate posting pictures. On top of that, I’ll post a cute kiss scene from a movie and this guy will text me “I want to kiss you like that” and when I don’t answer, he keeps posting it again and again. Then he’ll send me inappropriate photos of him shirtless and ask me “Do you like my body?” Same thing again, I won’t answer and he’ll keep posting it asking me again and again. Like why are you pressuring me to answer that. Also, this random guy will call me “baby” and say things like “I hope you’ll be my girlfriend” and “I love you” then he’ll be like “send me some selfies”. Like I don’t like any of these things. Why won’t they take a hint?

  • NopeNada

    This man is in the same college program as me, older than me, and I’m not attracted to him at all. I leave at closing time & he does as well. On the way out he chit chats with me on studying/classes.Then he asks which direction I go.I give a vague answer and say I take any of the trains and bus sHe said he takes the train too. We both part way in school. I’m entering the bus later and he’s there entering too. We exchange a less than a second surprise that we’re headed on the same bus. I sit down and theres many seats in the bus and I see he struggles mentally for a second whether he should sit in front and then he sits next to me. Starts talking about his whole life story and his struggles. In short, he says how he learned a lot from the bad things in his life. Said he got into major physical fights with his sister and it was bad. And I just want to lean away from this person. It seems as if he hit his sister the way he worded himself. And I hate abusive people and any mentally developed male is an ass for hitting a female unless it was necessary for self defense. Then we went to the same train. -.- I didn’t know how to tell this person to fuck off. Crowded train = a bit too close to each other. And near me are two younger girls making out=now i feel awkward. So I’m really not talkative to this dude in the first place and by now I pull my huge hood up and he tells me he can’t hear what I’m saying because of my hoody. Then eventually he says he get off at the last stop (lets call it stop z) of the train and asks me where i get off and I’m like I get off at this stop (lets call it stop q) which is a lie. later on he says he’s getting off my false stop too to get some grocery and I’m like cool. Asks if he could get my number. I said no, and that it was because of past experiences I don’t give out my number like this anymore. I told him he shouldn’t take offense and he’s says that alright. I get off at stop q. Before we go our separate ways to buy things the conversation ends with me saying abuse is bad and he said he doesn’t agree and that abuse is good. And I’m getting very angry so after we part like that I know that his idea about abuse is scary ad wrong. Okay, he went through abuse and it helped him later on as person somehow. I don’t care what any man or woman says. Just because you are abused does not mean that other people should experience it too. NO NO AND NO. I do not wish anyone to get abused. There is a whole wide of debate against what this man said. Still see this person every now and then and a couple weeks ago I started taking trains only because its more reliable and safe than the bus so when i bid farewell to everyone i rushed to get out ( bc he coincidently started packing too) and calmly walked my beautiful path to the train thinking aha no way can he come this way and I’m listening to music and out of nowhere he comes . asks why i don’t take bus and i say its more safe and also because i don’t want to get raped. after that he realized the message more so than before. but what i said about the bus was true though. Well, that combined with me wanting him to get the signal to shoo off and so he walked in speculatular speed ahead of me and i had a good laugh.

  • Angela Chapman

    Why am I not suprized or ” shocked” that you deleted my ” long” comment. I figured it would get deleted by ” denial”, rejections”, fans and people who are just rude, and heartless to begin with, can’t face the truth. I’m not offended or shocked. I already know.. people want to ” pick” a fight with me. That’s why I’m glad you denied my emotions,and response. It’s a bully.. anyways.

  • Summer

    He just now posted nude selfies, did I also mention he weighs 400 pounds. I feel tempted to pose as my dad to tell him to quit contacting me…

  • Summer

    There was this kid who bullied me nonstop from third grade through seventh grade. He got sent into foster care after my seventh grade year. Twenty some odd years later, he contacts me on Facebook and wants to go out with him. Be honest with everyone, I’m not interested in him nor will I ever be interested. He constantly messages me on Facebook and now has started going to my church. It has left me extremely uncomfortable. He even told everyone on Facebook that we are a couple (which we are not). He called me his baby momma the other night. All I want to do is run so far away from this as far as possible… I don’t like him like a boyfriend, not now and not ever…

    • Sanbai

      If he goes to your church, you might point him out to your pastor and tell them the problem. Also, point him out to your parents and make sure they know what he looks like. Tell him to leave you alone, then block him on facebook. You can also put out a “friends only” message letting your friends know he’s a creep and he won’t leave you alone and to NOT give him your information under ANY CIRCUMSTANCES.

      If he continues, take a picture of him with your phone and contact the police. You can give them the information you have (name, physical description, photo) and the next time he bugs you, you can call them up and they can either get him to back off, or even haul his ass down to the station! Some creeps will NEVER get it until you involve the authorities and it’s YOUR RIGHT to use that if things escalate.

      Cheers, and good luck!

    • WTFOMGLOL

      I had one of those, back in the 70’s, when I was a kid. The neighborhood runt/bully, targeted me as his favorite victim. Following me around, walking home from school, any chance he got, he would try to pick a fight with me. He wasn’t trying to be my friend, mind. He was hunting me around like an animal, for the fun of it. Things finally got really ugly when I got a new 10-speed bike for my birthday, and took it out for a spin around the block. He came out of nowhere on HIS bike, followed me for a bit, yeliing crap at me, then threw a stick that got stuck in the spokes, and ruined the bike wheel. I had to wheel the bike home, and show my parents what had happened. We all drove over to his parents house, to confront his parents about it. (He was an adopted kid, by the way. Apparently a lot of rage there. And undersized, but STRONG). After that, was more (resentfully) careful about his confrontations, but it never really tapered off into nothing, until well into high school years. …. Fast forward years later, and he lands in prison, for RAPE. Big surprise there.
      Anyhow hope by now, you’ve found the BLOCK button on Facebook. Unfriended and blocked this guy, for starters. You can block him from Twitter, too, if you use that. But my childhood experiences have left me with an unfailing radar, on who is a decent, fairly sensitive guy, and who is hidden psychotic stalker underneath. Listen to your gut instincts, they will always tell you.

  • Maddy

    Last year I became friends with this one guy. I thought he was pretty cool, and I did like him for a little, but then it started to get creepy. He would put his arm around me in the hall and on the bus even when I shrunk away from him. One time I passed by him in the hall while talking to my friend so I just simply smiled a little to be courteous. Apparently that wasn’t enough for him, as he spun around and said angrily “/Look/ at me.” He would always try to hug me and would tell me I look cute and just ramble on about random stuff that I didn’t care about at all.
    I dunno, he just made me really uncomfortable and embarrassed so I just ignored him. I think he gets the idea now because he leaves me alone for the most part.

  • Marie Clare

    I have a few creeper stories…

    When I was a sophomore in high school, I had some senior guy who was infatuated with me. I wasn’t interested in him but I was too shy to really say anything that would be “mean” and hurt his feelings. So I let him continue to make me feel uncomfortable for a little while (I regret it now) he would give me super long hugs, call me sweetheart and tell me of the things he wanted to do with me (ie. cuddle, kiss me, etc.) Eventually, I did end up getting a boyfriend and yet, he STILL CREEPED! Finally, I ended up telling him off. I said “hey (insert name), I need to talk to you for a minute”. I pulled him aside into an unoccupied classroom after school and said “listen. I have a boyfriend and afterschool is my time with him – not yours and not my time with you. I am not interested in anything with us, seeing as i am dating so-and so. So please just leave us alone”. He kinda laughed and said I was hot when I was mad. But he finally took the hint.

    Jump forward to freshman year of college. I was dating my senior year of high school boyfriend but we attended different universities. A guy from my college started flirting with me, hard. I didn’t feel too threatened because he didn’t seem the type to make any moves. I told him straight off the bat that I had a boyfriend and I was content with him. He said “Oh, I understand” but really, he did not. Our friendship became so close that he tricked me into going on a date with him!!! They had a mini-golf outing and he said some of our friends were going…little did I know that it was a couples night!! I was so mad. After that, I told him we needed distance and to my surprise he complied. Later that year, he got close and I had just gotten out of a nasty break up. So I rebounded and dated him for a whole 8 days (worst 8 days ever). He was such an awful horrible disgusting gross kisser!!! (*thinking of it makes me wanna vomit). Anyways, things ended rather quickly after that, as you can imagine. Well, sophomore year he kept following me around everywhere. He knew I was dating (someone different) and still continued to follow me. Then he started being mean. Like making fun of me for anything that I did that he deemed “wrong”. He would follow me to my dorm room, and even get in at night and come knocking on my door. Eventually I just hid in my room at night and if anyone knocked I pretended I was asleep. A friend suggested I text him to leave me alone. I did and worded it nicely – a mistake. He backed away for a good week and then was right back at it again. I began commuting part way through the second semester and so he couldn’t really stalk me as much. I purposefully met up with other friends so that he couldn’t hunt me down and CREEP. My junior year, he began his stalking antics again. He would wait outside my classroom every day. He would walk with me to my car, even though I didn’t ask for company. It was when he started waiting OUTSIDE THE BATHROOM for me that I really had it. My boyfriend, at the time, sent a text to him (I forwarded it to him) that basically said “hey dude. my girlfriend is uncomfortable with you following her, which makes me pretty uncomfortable too. so please knock it off now. thanks”. That finally hit him hard. He tried texting me and asking me if we could still be friends and I said, just leave me alone. I need space….and he hasn’t bothered me since!:)

    Last story, I met a guy at work over the summer. He had an accent and was so hard to understand. But, he ended up telling me he thought I was the most beautiful girl ever and he wanted to marry me some day. Umm…i just met you? He ended up getting my number (I thought: ‘I can always block him if he gets too creepy’). He texted me for a while about how he wanted to take me out on a date. I had already told him, and said again “no, I am not interested. i have a boyfriend.” He continued to persist. Some time passed and he did not contact me. however, in a weak moment, I texted him just to appologize for being so rude and telling him to leave me alone (it had been a bad day). he said it was okay, and is now texting me constantly saying things like, “I just want your love. I want some of your kisses. I want to see your face. I want to take you out on a date. How can I make this work between us? I will wait for you.” I literally said “You have offically creeped me out.” and he said “Oh no, let me fix it!” I didn’t respond. He is now texting me again and continuing to ask just the randomest things. i told him I am not his love and not to call me pet names. I dont know…it’s just rather creepy and I might block his number if this keeps up. I mean honestly, why do guys think they can say/do whatever they want with girls? We have a say too!

    These are my creeper stories – and I hope you can learn something from me. If a guy creeps, tell him straight up the honest truth. Don’t be nice about it. Also, if he does not take your clear directions (it’s not a hint when you say “please leave me alone!”) then you either ignore him (in my opinion, that takes a lot of self control) or you can block his number and block him on other social media sites. If you’re forced to see him in person (I am so sorry) than avoid him at all costs and try to have a friend with you or appear to be busy with “Oh, hey. Nice to see you, but I’ve gotta run to the store now. Bye!”
    I hope this helped! Good luck 🙂 and remember – never let a guy control how you feel. only you can control you’re own feelings.

  • Not Saying

    Recently yesterday morning I was coming back home from dropping my older brother to an interview. I had my music in my ear and I saw someone waving me out right next to me. He was creepy and had no shirt on. Started telling me I was pretty shook my head and touched but immediately took it away he kept telling me his name and asked for mine. I have no freaking idea why I told him, I was beyon freaked out and I make really dumb decisions when I get scared. He’s like I don’t want to keep you from work and I said I’m going home, he’s like ohh and he’s like we should hook up and meet again! And I’m like I’m 14 and I’m walking fast the whole time! And he’s like I’ll be waiting 3 years for you, I was soo angry because why is a grown man harassing me I wasn’t wearing anything in appropriate and thank god I turned the block and my super wa there and e didn’t follow me. I’m upset I’m a minor why are you saying stuff like that, I need to speak up and tell him I’d call 911 but thank go I was sooo close to him and my super was on the block. It’s just I’m scared I meant see him again and I can’t stop being scared right now.

  • CharlesGraves25

    if you’re not interested in him then tell him instead of blocking him. stop being so paranoid. he probably foun your instagram by your phone number or whatever

  • Nacey

    This may come off as paranoid and blown out of proportion, but there’s a senior guy who seems to like me at school. I’m a junior, and I don’t know how old this young man is, but he just creeps me out to no end. I talked to him once last year after a club he, my best friend, and I were in. I guess we were on the subject of violence or something, I don’t know, and he just says, “I can kill without remorse.” So, mentally, I’m like, “That’s nice, I’m gonna go as far away from you as I can.” Until this year, he’s in my second period class and the beginning of the semester, my Mythology teacher was asking what we like (RPGs, video games, anime, manga, Lord of the Rings, etc etc) and I and aforementioned creep raised our hands for everything, and he gave me this look of strange approval the whole time. If I remember correctly, he said something like, “I can’t believe I’ve found someone I share interests with!” And I remembered what he said last year so I’m like “Yep, not speaking to you, ” even though he’s tried to talk to me. Here is the probably blown out part: I fear for mine and my boyfriend’s lives. I don’t know how to just push the paranoia aside!!!

  • Kay

    There’s this guy who is in a few of my classes. He’s super creepy and annoying and he won’t take a hint. He will like wait outside of the bathroom at school until I come out and he’ll walk next to me and stuff. He follows me and he does everything he can yo get my attention. He carries around this container of Altoids and whenever i walk by he shakes it as hard as he can to “get my attention” but i just ignore him and he doesn’t realize.He eavesdrops when i talk to my friends and doesn’t even try to hide it, he’s just standing there! . He always tries to be near me and get me to take off my shoes (what the??) and he just creeps me out all the time. He once brought some stuffed Star Wars character to school and made it kiss me, like he came up behind me and made a kissing noise and made it kiss my cheek. I’ve made it clear that i’m not interested in LOTS of ways. I told him i wasn’t interested, i don’t act like i am (i ignore him, and when he talks to me i answer in one word like “ok” or “cool” or “nah” in the most bored voice ever, etc.) Last year we were watching a movie in class and i was wearing flip flops and took them off and put them under my desk, he comes and sits RIGHT NEXT TO MY DESK and picks up my shoes and starts messing with them. It scared me to the point that I hid in the bathroom. He sent me a love note last year and I declined him but he still doesn’t understand to, it’s worse since I have a boyfriend who goes to our school! He’s met my boyfriend and he knows we’re dating but he doesn’t care or something because he’s still being a super creep!! My boyfriend told him to back off but he got my number and sent me a text with a heart emoji this morning and I just need help!! any advice???

    • CharlesGraves25

      Hey I know its like a suuuper crazy idea but maybe you should *gasp* TELL HIM YOU DONT LIKE HIM???? All you dumb girls reading this article don’t even seem to realize that the article writer herself, advocates TELLING THE GUY THAT YOU DONT LIKE HIM.
      Ladies- men do not read minds. That is not one of our talents. You cant assume he will automatically know that you don’t like him. You need to GET THE GUTS TO SPIT IT OUT AND SAY IT TO HIM. If youre too much of a COWARD to do that, if you lack the ability for basic human communication, then YOU DESERVE IT!!

      • annalee

        did you not read the part where she said she made it clear she wasn’t interested in him by telling him she wasn’t interested? do you hate women that much? jesus christ.

      • Some girl

        Do you think it’s just women who do this? Men tell girls all the time “I’ll call you” when they never do but normal, well adjusted women chalk it up to the fact that the guy just wasn’t into her…and then she MOVES ON. She doesn’t come unglued and lose her mind over it the way you do. You’re such a mean psycho creep that just knowing how bad it obviously hurts you to get rejected by women makes me laugh because you deserve it!!

  • Mas Salinah

    There’s this guy at my part time job who pretends to be gay just to get close to me. I actually fell for his lie but everyone else told me that he’s not and when I wasn’t around he kept asking about me. He even went to work when I’m working even though he has a day off(he’s an intern). He also loves to brag about himself, probably to impress me. He told everyone else except for me that he’s not gay. He kept telling me that the guy I have a crush on is gay and my crush actually likes him when my crush is like obviously straight(he likes another girl and everyone knows but whatever hahaha). He even went on to stalk the guys that I’m close to and he kept insisting that he was my gay best friend and wants us to hang around even after we quit our jobs which i’m so not gonna do. It is so disgusting. He keeps using my crush as a conversation topic which is so lame. I wish I can shut him up. ps- I was actually fine with him until I found out he’s just a big fat liar.