When a guy won’t take a hint that you’re not interested, it’s probably the most annoying thing ever save for maybe Soulja Boy’s continued existence. And for whatever reason, it happens to me all the time.
The most glaring example I can think of off the top of my head: I went out with a guy named Brian one time in October, and I didn’t even realize it was a date until I got there. (Strike one!) I wasn’t interested in him romantically at all–there was nothing wrong with him, but he just wasn’t my type. I figured I’d remain civil with him since we had a few mutual friends, and I actually considered introducing a few of my girlfriends to him to see if they’d hit it off better, because he seemed cool–I just didn’t have any urge whatsoever to make out with him.
When he asked me out again over the phone, I didn’t want to lead him on at all because that’s mean. So I explained to him very, very clearly that I thought he was awesome, but that I didn’t feel a spark. He said he understood, and that was it–and I was happy that we wouldn’t waste any more of each other’s time, but that we were still cool.
Except he didn’t understand, and that wasn’t it. Brian continued to text, Facebook and call me from October all the way until March, asking if we could go to the movies and hold hands with “fingers laced” (dude, really?), then wondering why I wasn’t talking to him. (I dunno, maybe because he asked me things like, “Can we hold hands with our fingers laced?” after I already told him I wasn’t interested.)
If you have some weirdo who just won’t leave you alone, I’m here to help. Here are ways to get that creep off your back, hopefully for good–though depending on just how creepy he is, you may have to keep up with them for a while before they work.
Be very direct.
If you sugarcoat anything to spare his feelings, it won’t work–he’ll see it as false hope and either think you’re interested or accuse you of leading him on. You may have to say something brutally honest, like, “Hey, can you get off my nuts? I don’t like you. I don’t even have nuts, but I don’t like you. Please leave me alone.”
Listen, I know it sucks when a guy ghosts on you with no warning. It hurts. But if you’ve made it crystal clear to this dude that you’re not into him and he still won’t leave you alone, you need to not respond to him ever. He’ll consider any attention to be a sign to keep it up, even if all you say back is, say, “Hey, can you get off my nuts? I don’t like you. I don’t even have nuts, but I don’t like you. Please leave me alone.”
Get a decoy boy.
Have a guy friend who’d be willing to act as a surrogate boyfriend to keep creeps away? Employ him whenever you think Captain Persistent will be around in person–he’s much less likely to try anything weird if he’s getting menacing stares from another dude.
If he keeps it up, start documenting everything he says and does to make you uncomfortable–and also make notes of when it occurred and who else was around. If he gets threatening or just becomes to big a nuisance for you to handle, this info will be super important.
Tell an adult or authorities.
If the guy gets super creepy, threatening, or invades your privacy and makes you feel unsafe, take all that info you documented and present it to either your parents, school officials or police. You shouldn’t have to stop living your life just because some freak couldn’t take a hint–or an outright declaration–that you’re not into him.
Have you ever had to deal with a guy who couldn’t take a hint? Has a guy ever pursued you so much that it got creepy? How did you deal? Tell us in the comments!