There are a ton of myths about sex that you already know are bogus (like how masturbation would give you hairy palms or make you go blind), but there are a few more that a lot of girls and women actually are still baffled by. Sex expert Tracey Cox debunked a bunch of sex myths, and not gonna lie–some of them are still pretty popular. Especially the first one! Check these out and get schooled (and probably relieved) on the silly old wives’ tales that probably give us a lot more sexual anxiety than we need.
Myth About Sex: Guys are always ready and raring to go.
Not true! Once guys get a little older, other things inhibit their libidos, just like they affect ours–because even though men have different equipment down there, guess what? They’re people. They’re people with penises, but they’re people. If he’s tired, stressed out or just not in the mood (and believe it or not, the latter does happen), it’s just not going to happen.
Myth About Sex: Once he finishes, so do you–and so does your sex for the night.
Here’s the thing: This one may be true if you’re dating a selfish guy who probably isn’t good in the sack. Guys get smacked with a ton of sleep-inducing hormones after they have an orgasm or ejaculate, so he may well be really tired and not able to go again. Does that mean you have to go without an O yourself? Nope. If he finishes and you don’t, you have a few options: Move from intercourse to something else that doesn’t require quite as much energy for him (and frankly would probably work better for you anyway), or make sure you get yours first before he starts on his. If he’s worth sleeping with, chances are he won’t have a problem with this arrangement, because guess what? It means he’s still lucky enough to have sex with you.
Myth About Sex: If he asks to change it up, he’s not interested in you anymore.
Tracey Cox compared an appetite for sexual variety to an appetite for food: Would you be weirded out if he ate the same thing for lunch every day? Probably. Seriously: If he came over one day and was like, “Listen, I’ve had grilled cheese for lunch every day for the last three months. I think today I’m gonna spring for a burger.” You’d probably ask him why he didn’t do that, well, two months ago at least. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t like grilled cheese anymore. It just means he’s in the mood for something else. But there’s still bread involved in both grilled cheese and burgers, right? Just pretend you’re the carbs in this equation. He doesn’t like or love you any less. He just wants to do something different with you. It’s pretty flattering when you think about it–and chances are you’ll appreciate a switchup too, even if you’re reluctant at first to stray from the tried and true methods you’re used to.
Myth About Sex: Guys just know what you like down there.
No. No. No, they do not. Listen, we’re a lot more complicated down there than they are, and we take it for granted sometimes because we’re used to having a vagina. We see it every day. Chances are he doesn’t, so you need to direct them, sometimes with words, sometimes with your hands. If it feels awkward or uncomfortable to do that, chances are this isn’t a guy you should be having sex with in the first place. And honestly, if you’re not guiding him at all and expecting to read your mind? Chances are the only orgasms you have will be fake ones, and that just sucks–mostly for you, but also for him if he suspects it.
Myth About Sex: Sex isn’t a big deal to guys.
Again, wrong! People with penises are people. For a lot of guys, having sex is their way of saying, “Dude, I love you.” As gals, we’re born communicators and usually talk and express emotions more than guys do. For some guys who are more emotionally reserved, sex is the best tool they have to show you how much they adore you. And if the feeling is mutual and he takes direction well (see previous myth!), it’s not only a big deal–it’s a pretty sweet one.
Have you ever bought these myths about sex? Do you think there are other myths about sex that a lot of girls believe? Tell us in the comments!