From The Message Boards:Should I Give My Cheating BF Another Chance?

Cheating is a really tough subject. It’s hard enough to learn that someone you love and trust has betrayed you. Trying to forgive and forget that is almost impossible. Sometimes you can end it and move on, but what if you’re still in love with the person who hurt you?

This week on the message boards, you guys are talking about if you should give a cheater another chance.

Let’s see what y’all had to say:

TheDatingAngel said:

Just because you are in love with someone doesn’t mean you have to put up with his behavior. Let me ask you….who are you in love with more….YOU or HIM? It sounds like him. I suspect that you think you are going to be alone if you dump him…Nothing could be further from the truth. When you remove the people from your life that aren’t treating you well, you make room for people who WILL treat you well. However, you will need to teach someone new or this guy (depending on what you decide to do) how to treat you. I suspect you don’t know how to do that…otherwise you would have never allowed this guy to get away with cheating on you.

Here is what you do first: Write down on a piece of paper how you want to be treated. Here are some examples: “When I am talking to someone, I want them to listen to me…and I will do the same to them. If they make the decision to not listen to me, then I am no longer going to waste my breath.”

Keep going. For every behavior you want to see from someone else, write it down and then write down what YOU will do if they don’t behave the way you like.

curiosity_ said:

Honestly, NO. Take it from someone who’s been cheated on 4+ times < - Thats just that I know of . If you keep taking him back he's just gonna keep doing it Because he know's that you'll just forgive him and take him back . I know you love him, But it isnt fair to you to keep someone that keeps on hurting you in your life

stayclassy said:

Unless you enjoy being cheated on, leave the relationship. He’s not going to stop especially since your reaction to his behaviour (aka not leaving him) made it acceptable for him to cheat and will continue to cheat.

cgrisadancer said:

Say goodbye for good. You deserve much better.

Word to what all these ladies said. In terms of context, the cheater we’re talking about is a serial cheater. I’m not saying that guys who only cheat once should be given another chance automatically, but this guy clearly is not going to change.

I dated a cheater for a very long time. I didn’t know for a while, but I kept giving him chances and he kept cheating and treating me like dirt. He knew I would take him back every time. I didn’t stand up for myself, and eventually I started believing that I didn’t deserve better.

Another guy I dated maybe cheated on me once, but I will never really know. All I know is that when I found out the situation, I made sure that he knew it was going to be over if anything ever happened like that again. And it didn’t.

But I think you have to be wary anytime cheating is involved. I think you’ve got to get rid of this guy and move on, but it’s entirely your decision. Sometimes couples can move past cheating, but the majority of the time, it’s not going to work out. The trust is always going to be broken, and you’re always going to wonder if he’s cheating again.
 
Have you ever forgiven a cheater? Did it work out? Tell us in the comments!

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