“I’ve recently come across a problem that I’m really having trouble dealing with. I’ve recently started to wonder if my most recent relationships haven’t been very long is partially because the guys know that I’m not going to have sex with them anytime soon.
Here’s my thing: I’m a virgin, but I’m not waiting til marriage or anything. I’m just not ready to have sex yet. I don’t want to have sex unless I’ve been with a guy at least a year (unless I feel otherwise in the relationship) and we REALLY love each other. I go into relationships letting the guys know this, and they all say the same things. They say they respect that, and they think that’s really good of me and everything. Then we end up dating, everything is going great, and boom. 2 months later I’m dumped with little to no explanation.
My last few relationships have literally only been 2 months, and none of those guys were virgins. Also, they all dumped me saying things like “It’s just not working out” and offering pretty much no other reasons. Oh yeah and they make sure to tell me that “It’s not my fault” and “You’re a wonderful girlfriend, but it’s just not working out anymore.”
My last longer relationship was with a guy who was also a virgin at the time…so the correlation is just interesting to me. And honestly, considering this as a possibility really hurts me. I desperately want to believe that if I guy really cares about me, then sex won’t matter. I mean it’s not like I won’t do ANYTHING. I’m open to oral and all that good stuff. So I just don’t understand. I even asked my best guy friend’s opinion on this. He’s pretty protective over me and he’s always honest with me. When I approached him with my concerns he said “I’m not going to bull**bleep** you, that might have something to do with it.”
It just really hurts me that guys might not want to be with me just because I won’t have sex with them really soon. I just need some advice and opinions please? It’s just really bothering me. Especially since these guys I date know where I stand going into the relationship and say they’re okay with it. None of them have ever said this was a reason for breaking up with me, but still. I can’t help but wonder. It seems like a pretty good possibility. I just need some advice.”
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