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Losing your virginity may not be a big deal in the long run. | Source: ShutterStock
Losing your virginity seems like it’s supposed to be some big, huge, cathartic event in your life. You hear so much about it all the time and how it’s so serious and intense . . . so what happens if you lose your virginity and it’s, well, not any of those things?
When I lost my virginity, my boyfriend at the time and I had been together a few months. He didn’t know I was a virgin, and I didn’t tell him because it wasn’t really an issue for me. I hadn’t been saving myself for marriage or anything, but I simply didn’t want to sleep with someone I wasn’t in a relationship with–and he just happened to be my first real boyfriend. In any case, we’d messed around a bit before, but never gotten too hot and heavy. But we both agreed we were ready for it and I made plans for me to sleep over that night. I’d been on the pill for a while for period issues anyway, and he had condoms handy, so I knew we’d be safe.
So what happened? He grabbed dinner, saw a movie and started making out at his house when it was over–and then he asked if I wanted to go to the bedroom. We made our way there, did everything we’d already done before . . . and that sort of just led to having sex.
I was mentally preparing myself for something scary and emotionally taxing and magical all at the same time. But it wasn’t any of that. For me, as lame as it sounds, it was just something else to do. I didn’t feel any different when it was over, and I didn’t feel like my life nor like my relationship had changed in some drastic way afterward. My boyfriend didn’t act any different and I still felt like myself. Maybe a slightly sorer version of myself, but I felt like myself.
For some people, their first time is this huge ordeal, whether in an awesome or an awful way. And that’s great (or not-so-great) for them. But for a lot of us, it’s much simpler. Mine? It was nice. But it was nothing to blog about (even though I just did), so don’t feel weird if yours wasn’t either.
Did you feel like your first time was a big deal? Was losing your virginity a life changing experience for you or just sort of “eh?” Tell us in the comments!
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When I lost my virginity, I didn’t think it was a big deal at the moment at all, but it’s after a while that I realized how attached I was to him because since he was a virgin as well I believed we shared something special that no on else had experienced from us, needless to say it was the hardest thing when he broke up with me.
I feel that losing your virginity is a serious matter and is something that should not be taken lightly. The age when this occurs is gradually decreased throughout the years, and I feel that people do not think of the consequences to their actions. I feel that you should wait for the right person, someone who loves you, respects you and treats you right. I feel that the bible gives sound advice on this topic as well
I agree. I dont know whats the big deal about losing your virginity. There is so much mystery surrounding the whole act and the taboos and the do’s and dont’s that make girls seem like it is a big deal losing it.
There is always, like with anything else, a kind of anxiety associated with the act. But why not emphasize on how good it feels and that it is so normal to have sex.
As a society I think we are all so screwed up and there is so much scaremongering going on about sex.
I didnt tell anyone. Only 3 of my best friends knew because they knew the guy too. he had his own place and this was exciting to us to go to his place. Even though I was a lot younger he told my friend he fancied me. He told my friend that if I didnt mind , he had no problem with me being so young.
Though I was so nervous, I really enjoyed it and I dont regret losing my virginity.
I lost mine to my boyfriend of almost a year. I thought it was a big deal to be a virgin and to loose it, but by the time I got around to actually loosing it it didn’t even matter anymore. It didn’t feel good, and it wasn’t even anything nice to remember …. :/
I didn’t really think anything if it. I always wondered why it was a big deal. It was great and all but it was just sex lol. It wasn’t sad, a mistake, or something big like marriage. It was just sex.
My first time was magical. I did with my bf of 3mnths and he was my bestfriend first and I had trusted him a lot. I come from a place where guys are really foul about sex. I knew he wouldn’t leave or treat me any different. We used a condom and just took it slow. It was very passionate and I cried a little but it was overwhelming for me. I used to think of sex as “OMG you did that” to “with who”. I felt our relationship change and it was for the better. He was my first love and was a big deal to me. I just didnt want to end up regretting it.