Losing Your Virginity May Not Be A Big Deal!


Losing your virginity may not be a big deal in the long run. | Source: ShutterStock

Losing your virginity seems like it’s supposed to be some big, huge, cathartic event in your life. You hear so much about it all the time and how it’s so serious and intense . . . so what happens if you lose your virginity and it’s, well, not any of those things?

When I lost my virginity, my boyfriend at the time and I had been together a few months. He didn’t know I was a virgin, and I didn’t tell him because it wasn’t really an issue for me. I hadn’t been saving myself for marriage or anything, but I simply didn’t want to sleep with someone I wasn’t in a relationship with–and he just happened to be my first real boyfriend. In any case, we’d messed around a bit before, but never gotten too hot and heavy. But we both agreed we were ready for it and I made plans for me to sleep over that night. I’d been on the pill for a while for period issues anyway, and he had condoms handy, so I knew we’d be safe.

So what happened? He grabbed dinner, saw a movie and started making out at his house when it was over–and then he asked if I wanted to go to the bedroom. We made our way there, did everything we’d already done before . . . and that sort of just led to having sex.

I was mentally preparing myself for something scary and emotionally taxing and magical all at the same time. But it wasn’t any of that. For me, as lame as it sounds, it was just something else to do. I didn’t feel any different when it was over, and I didn’t feel like my life nor like my relationship had changed in some drastic way afterward. My boyfriend didn’t act any different and I still felt like myself. Maybe a slightly sorer version of myself, but I felt like myself.

For some people, their first time is this huge ordeal, whether in an awesome or an awful way. And that’s great (or not-so-great) for them. But for a lot of us, it’s much simpler. Mine? It was nice. But it was nothing to blog about (even though I just did), so don’t feel weird if yours wasn’t either.

Did you feel like your first time was a big deal? Was losing your virginity a life changing experience for you or just sort of “eh?” Tell us in the comments!


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  1. avatarEmily says:

    How do you even have sex?
    Should I shave pubic hair off?
    Is it awkward?
    How do I talk to my mom about getting me the pill cause than she will know I’m having sex?

  2. avatarRody says:

    I am still a virgin , & I am saving myself for marriage , I am in love with someone who is actually travelling away , we never even touched , sure we talked about it , but I am religious & It will happen when we marry , soooon .

  3. avatarM.Weldon says:

    When I lost my virginity,I was 12.I am religious,but I honestly never seen the point in waiting until marriage.But anyway,the guy I lost it to,he was in a relationship and is STILL in a relationship.I am in love with him,and have been for a long time.My first time was nice.It was magical or euphoric or any of that,it was just sex and it was nice.He was nice about it and was gentle.Um,I guess you could call us consensual sex partners because we still have sex.I don’t take it so serious because it isn’t weird between us-we’re just us.

  4. avatarAshley says:

    I just lost my virginity to a guy that I’ve been knowing. I’m not in love nor emotionally attached as I have never been. We did it for about 45 minutes in his bedroom. It hurt at first but then started feeling good. I would say the beginning it hurt on a scale from 1 to 10 a 8. It would hurt every time he went deeper but it wasn’t too bad. It still feels like he is in me when I am sitting down. When I went to the bathroom I noticed a speck of blood but nothing much. Ik this is a lot but this is just my experience

  5. avatarAria says:

    I was always scared to lose my virginity, because everybody made it out to be this big thig, when in reality, its really not. Yes, its true you should wait until you’re ready, and do it with someone you trust, but its really not a huge deal. For me, it was awkward, and funny. It was different, because it was everything I hadnt expected. There wasnt this horrible pain, or enormous orgasm near the end. It hurt a little, but then it felt better. I didn’t wait for a boyfriend, I did it with my best friend, and he made sure I had fun doing it. Because in order to really have fun, you need to be able to laugh at yourself and those little awkward moments. Just relax, and have fun. That’s what sex is all about, enjoying the ride.

  6. avatarKirstin says:

    I lost mine to my boyfriend of one yr in my best friends house in her room while she was away, it hurt a lot but I don’t regret losing it to him his kind and sweet to me I knew I was ready for it

  7. avatarAnne says:

    I lost my virginity to my love. It was fun and I love it so much. I like when he starts with his tounge and then rammed me with his 14 inches massive cock. I will remember it for my entire life. haengbolkae..

  8. avatarKatrina says:

    It wasn’t a huge thing for me at all. My first boyfriend was really messed up, and I had planned on losing it to him. After we broke up I just wanted to get it over with so I could move on. I ended up doing it with a guy I was friends with. It hurt a bit but wasn’t a huge deal. All my life my Christian relatives had told me it was some big thing and you had to save yourself for marriage and all that but it wasn’t life changing or anything. I just felt more lose and free.

  9. avatarJessica says:

    When my boyfriend and I had done it, he had already been with one other girl, which didn’t bother me as much as it probably would’ve bothered someone else. But we went to his house after school one day, honestly neither of us had really planned it to happen. In fact we had even talked about slowing our physical relationship down. I was nervous right before we did it, and before we went any further I asked him like a billion times if our relationship would change because of it. It didn’t. In fact, we are so much closer because of it. Now we’ve officially shared everything with each other; body, soul, mind and heart.

    • avatarSarah says:

      Me and my boyfriend have been together for over half a year and we still haven’t done ‘it’, because I’m still a virgin and I can’t get my head around the other girls he’s slept with before me. I feel like I’m going to be really vulnerable, and to me it’s gonna be a big deal but to him it’ll just be sex. My question is, how did the fact your boyfriend had lost his virginity to someone else not bother you? Because it really bothers me.

  10. avatarHunter says:

    Losing my virginity was a major step. I was with a guy that had already been with one other girl but somehow it didn’t matter. We prepared for it very maturely and he bought the condoms. He made sure it was still something I wanted to do like every five seconds. The initial insertion was nothing like I had experienced before. It hurt but felt good at the same time. The sex itself was boring and bloody and painful and quick. Nothing like I thought it would be. It definitely gets better but the first time having sex is a nightmare. It did help our relationship grow stronger and even though we are not together anymore, I will never regret giving it up to him.

  11. avatarChristina says:

    When I lost my virginity, I didn’t think it was a big deal at the moment at all, but it’s after a while that I realized how attached I was to him because since he was a virgin as well I believed we shared something special that no on else had experienced from us, needless to say it was the hardest thing when he broke up with me.

  12. avatarLily says:

    I feel that losing your virginity is a serious matter and is something that should not be taken lightly. The age when this occurs is gradually decreased throughout the years, and I feel that people do not think of the consequences to their actions. I feel that you should wait for the right person, someone who loves you, respects you and treats you right. I feel that the bible gives sound advice on this topic as well

  13. avatarAnna says:

    I agree. I dont know whats the big deal about losing your virginity. There is so much mystery surrounding the whole act and the taboos and the do’s and dont’s that make girls seem like it is a big deal losing it.
    There is always, like with anything else, a kind of anxiety associated with the act. But why not emphasize on how good it feels and that it is so normal to have sex.
    As a society I think we are all so screwed up and there is so much scaremongering going on about sex.
    I didnt tell anyone. Only 3 of my best friends knew because they knew the guy too. he had his own place and this was exciting to us to go to his place. Even though I was a lot younger he told my friend he fancied me. He told my friend that if I didnt mind , he had no problem with me being so young.
    Though I was so nervous, I really enjoyed it and I dont regret losing my virginity.

  14. avatarsweetness says:

    I lost mine to my boyfriend of almost a year. I thought it was a big deal to be a virgin and to loose it, but by the time I got around to actually loosing it it didn’t even matter anymore. It didn’t feel good, and it wasn’t even anything nice to remember …. :/

  15. avatarB. Marie says:

    I didn’t really think anything if it. I always wondered why it was a big deal. It was great and all but it was just sex lol. It wasn’t sad, a mistake, or something big like marriage. It was just sex.

  16. avatarTayy says:

    My first time was magical. I did with my bf of 3mnths and he was my bestfriend first and I had trusted him a lot. I come from a place where guys are really foul about sex. I knew he wouldn’t leave or treat me any different. We used a condom and just took it slow. It was very passionate and I cried a little but it was overwhelming for me. I used to think of sex as “OMG you did that” to “with who”. I felt our relationship change and it was for the better. He was my first love and was a big deal to me. I just didnt want to end up regretting it.

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