Source: ShutterStock

Thinking about trying to talk to your ex? Ask anyone for their opinion on whether you should do it or not and I can almost guarantee that the majority of them will tell you, “NO WAY.” When it comes to exes, the general consensus is pretty much to stay far, far away. You shouldn’t try to get in touch with them and you definitely, defintiely should never try to get back together with them. After all, that person is an ex for a reason, right?

Right… sometimes. Believe it or not, there are plenty of instances where exes can, and maybe even should, get back together. This isn’t the kind of ex advice you usually see, which is exactly why I was so happy to read it on HowAboutWe.com. In this advice column, the author gets a question from a girl who says she wants to get in touch with her ex, but she’s not sure if she should because she doesn’t want to look pathetic. The author responds, “You are allowed to reach out to your ex. Of course you are. And it doesn’t make you look pathetic. PLEASE. It makes you look human.”

I love this advice. While I of course agree that there are certain times when you’re better off leaving your ex in the past (an example? If he’s physically or emotionally abused you), but there are also times where it’s okay to try to talk to your ex. There are times when it’s okay to consider giving your relationship another shot and getting back together with your ex. That doesn’t make you pathetic or weak or desperate. Maybe it just means that you guys were together at the wrong time. Maybe you two just needed some time apart to realize how to make your relationship work better.

Here’s how I know it’s okay to maybe, possibly, give your ex a second chance: because it happened to me! A few years ago, my current boyfriend and I broke up for about two months. We both cared about each other, but at the time, neither of us really felt ready to be in a serious relationship. We told each other that if we were meant to be together, we’d get back together.

Our breakup was NOT easy. | Source: ShutterStock

Still, our breakup definitely wasn’t easy. There were a lot of hurt feelings involved, along with a lot of angry, mean phrases being thrown around. Things got pretty bad and after a while of being apart, we stopped talking altogether. Because of my inability to hold a grudge, I let a month pass before I decided I wanted to get in touch with him to apologize for all of the crappy things that had happened between us. I texted him an apology and to my surprise, we started talking. After a few weeks, we had officially started dating again.

Getting back together my ex was really difficult for me. Before that happened, I had always been the girl to insist that my BFF’s never talk to their ex. I had refused to give ex-boyfriend’s a second chance because I thought doing so made me look very weak and pathetic. In fact, for the first month or so of us being back together, I hid it from everyone I knew, including my family and best friends. I felt embarrassed and ashamed and I knew that they wouldn’t approve – not because my boyfriend was a bad guy, but because they just didn’t think exes were worth a second glance.

Obviously, my boyfriend and I are still together and our relationship is so, so, so much better than it was before we broke up. It’s basically an entire new relationship. And I definitely don’t feel embarrassed about what happened anymore. Through the whole situation, I realized that my boyfriend and I just needed some time apart to figure out exactly what each of us wanted. Sometimes, there’s nothing wrong with that.

Think about it before you go through with it. | Source: ShutterStock

All of that being said, there are a few things you need to keep in mind before you try reconciling with an ex. First of all, you need to consider why you guys broke up in the first place. Do you really think you two could work those issues out? If you think you would continue to fight over the same old thing, then there’s no point in getting back together.

Secondly, you need to figure out if you really want to be with your ex again or if you’re just feeling lonely and miserable and you want someone there. Sometimes when we’re heartbroken, we try to go back to what we already know – it’s a comfort thing. Make sure you genuinely miss your ex as a person before you get in touch with him or her.

Third of all, be aware that your ex might not be too thrilled with you trying to get in touch. You need to realize that there’s a huge possibility of your ex totally rejecting you. But, in my opinion, if you feel strongly about this, it’s worth a shot. If you never try, you’ll never know, right? Also keep in mind that your friends and family might not be happy about your decision simply because they saw how upset this person made you. But if you feel that this is really right, you need to make that decision for yourself.

So should you always give an ex a second chance? Of course not. My point is, it’s okay to do it sometimes – and it’s also okay to feel like you want to do it, even if you don’t go through with it. Sometimes it’s cool to break relationship rules.

Do you think it’s okay to sometimes give an ex a second chance? Have you ever gotten back together with an ex? How did it go? Tell us in the comments.

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