Ask A Guy: If I Queef During Sex, Will That Totally Turn Him Off?

Dear Ethan,

I just started hanging out with an awesome guy and I really like him. We’ve hooked up but I haven’t slept with him yet. I know he’s going to want to sooner or later, but I read something about queefing and now I’m terrified that I’m going to queef during sex! I don’t want to scare him off. If I do, will it totally freak him out?!

For those unfamiliar with “the queef,” vaginal flatulence (flatus vaginalis in Latin… or simply “vagina farts” in layman’s terms) is basically an expulsion of vaginal air that can occur due to certain physical movements during sex or exercise. The result is a noise not unlike that of, well… cutting the cheese.

However, out all of the sexual experiences I’ve had with women in my lifetime (I’m no George Clooney, but I do alright), I’ve only been aware of it happening twice. Though it’s entirely normal, it occurs (audibly, at least) way less than you probably think.

Most importantly, both of the two incidents that I personally encountered were way funnier than they were offensive or gross. Queefs are really nothing more than silly because you get the best part of a regular butt-fart (the sound) without the worst part (the smell), as there are no internal waste gases involved. The noise comes from trapped surface air, like that of a hand-cupped armpit when producing a hilarious “armpit fart” (one of my greatest skills as a third grader, still a great party trick).

So really, don’t fret – not only is queefing unlikely to happen during your first time having sex, it’s also not a big deal if it does. Any guy who gives you flak for a little crotch-burp is either totally inexperienced, immature, or both. Of all the things you can worry about when it comes to sex (e.g. pregnancy, STDs, regretful intercourse with a small-penised partner), queefing should be at the very bottom of the list. Don’t sweat ‘em!

*(For more on this topic from the female perspective, check out “Queefing 101” by my friend Abiola Abrams, here at Gurl.com!)

Good luck!
Ethan

Ethan Fixell is a writer and comedian from New York City best known as one half of comic “dating coach” duo Dave and Ethan. He is also the creator and editor of ActualConversation.com. For more on Ethan, visit EthanFixell.com…or call his mom, Robin.

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Posted in: Ask A Guy, Love Advice
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  • Malachi

    Immature? Because I find a farting noise coming out of a vagina is nasty? You’re the one who said there was a “best” part of butt farting and that armpit farts are hilarious and that you still do it. Now that’s immature.

  • Stephen

    Honestly, as long as you don’t laugh, then it shouldn’t be a problem. My ex always laughed and I couldn’t keep going because I started laughing. Lol.

    • Malachi

      You don’t have to worry about me laughing. But throwing up may be a problem.