Why You Don’t Have To Be Sure About Your Sexuality

In her latest interview with Allure magazine, Zoe Saldana expresses something that I wish more people understood. She says in regards to relationships that she might “end up with a woman raising my children…that’s how androgynous I am!”

And when the reporter asked if she ever had a relationship with another woman, Zoe responded “Promise me one thing: You’re going to ask this question [in the article]—if you choose to, just put three dots as my response. That’s it.”

So here we have a high profile woman basically telling you to love who you love and do what you do. That’s pretty awesome, no?

And I whole-heartedly agree. I know a lot of people struggle with their sexuality and how they identify themselves. But the truth is, you don’t have to identify yourself. You don’t have to label yourself. If you’re not sure what you identify as, that’s completely okay.

While we’re still working toward equality and acceptance of all people in society, there has been tremendous progress over the years. People are becoming more accepting, which is wonderful. I hope one day that it’s a complete non-issue.

You are allowed to be a lesbian or gay or bi or trans or not even remotely sure. If you’re questioning your sexuality, that’s totally fine. I feel like there’s a lot of pressure still for people to put an identifier on themselves. Well, you don’t have to identify yourself. You don’t have to label yourself. You can be sure or not sure. As long as you are happy with yourself and your life, that’s what matters.

You do not have to confine yourself to the rules of being straight or gay. I’ve often thought about my own dating life. I date guys, but does that mean I won’t fall in love with a girl? I don’t think so. I think anything can happen when it comes to love. Love is not an emotion that can be easily controlled. I think I will fall in love and marry a person, and I don’t know who that person will be regardless of gender.

Figuring yourself out is hard, I know. But take some of the pressure off yourself by not feeling like you have to identify one way or another. Just be. Exist and be and do what makes you happy.

Are you questioning your sexuality? Do you feel pressured to identify or label yourself? Tell us in the comments!

If you are feeling confused about your sexuality, here’s some great advice

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Posted in: Being Yourself
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  • Jalen S

    not pressured, the only pressure to come out is from myself!

  • Tayy

    All I want is my kids, or grand kids, or great grandkids or great X3 grandkids, to be able to say they don’t remember a time when people weren’t accepted for who they naturally are. Being African American woman and a free spirit possible pansexual, Im definitely not in the majority and am subject to prejudice. I just wish my future generations will not go through the struggles I or my ancestors went through, whether its from being black, or bring apart of the LGBTQ community. Im am 100000000000% for EQUALITY FOR ALL PEOPLE. I was in love with Zoe Saldana before, now its even worse ! She’s AMAZING.