Being generous is usually a good thing, but there is such a thing as being too nice If you drop a ton of coin on your boyfriend, you could feel unappreciated or taken for granted after a while if it becomes a constant thing . . . but not necessarily all the time. How can you tell when you’re giving too much or being too generous? We’ve got a guide to tell whether he’s a mooch or a mensch–and when to close your wallet and move along, Ms. Moneybags!
How Does Paying For Dates & Presents Make You Feel?
If paying for stuff for your boyfriend makes you feel used, he may not even realize he's doing it. Bring up your concerns, because if he's in the dark, he may not even realize you're upset. If and when you do tell him that you're tired of spending so much on him, a guy worth your time will find some way to make it up to you, whether it means paying for dates himself for a while or just showing he appreciates you more. Don't let him take you for granted--but also don't assume that's what's happening until you've talked it over first. Source: ShutterStockIs He Hard Up For Cash Or Just Freeloading?
If you think he's "forgetting" his wallet and not actually forgetting his wallet, is it because he's a jerk or because he's broke and embarrassed about it? As old fashioned as it is, guys take pride in taking care of you, and part of that is paying for you when they can. If they can't afford it, they may feel less "manly," as silly as that sounds--and it may be less painful for them to leave their money home (or pretend to) than for their credit card to get declined or realize they only have $10 on hand til next week. Talk it over and try to see where he stands and how he feels--and if his behavior is a pattern. Source: ShutterStockAre You Missing Out On Other Stuff Because You're Broke?
It's not a big deal to shell out cash occasionally when you and your boyfriend are out, or if you see something you know he'd dig. But when it starts to affect your ability to go to the movies with your girls, pay for gas or books or afford a birthday gift for your mom, it's time to close your wallet. If that means staying in and vegging out together with SpongeBob marathons instead of grabbing dinner and a movie, so be it--at least until he gets more hours at his job. (Or gets a job!) Source: ShutterStockDo You Think He's Pulling Away?
If you think your guy isn't that into you anymore, chances are you'd do almost anything to win him over again. But when you start basically throwing money at a dude to get him to stick around, he won't stick around for the right reasons--if he does at all. Opt for a guy who likes you for you, not for what you can buy him! Source: ShutterStockHave You Set Spending Limits For Presents?
If you feel like you're spending more on gifts for birthdays, anniversaries and the like for your boyfriend than he is on you, consider setting limits on how much each of you can spend. If neither of you knows what the other is expecting, you may blow a ton of dough on a watch for him for your six-month anniversary while he gets you a card or flowers and thinks it's enough. Neither of you are mind readers, so make sure to communicate! Source: ShutterStockDoes He Reciprocate In Other Ways?
Think: When you and your guy go out, if you spring for movie tickets, does he pay for your popcorn? Does he drive everywhere? Has he handed over his MetroCard to save you from paying for a train ride? Did he surprise you after class with a giant Frappuccino when you had a rough day? He may be giving back to you in ways you don't realize right away, so your relationship budgets may balance out more than you think at first. Source: ShutterStockHow's Your Self Esteem?
Even more important than taking stock in your relationship and your bank account, take stock in yourself. Are you shelling out cash because you think you don't have anything else to offer? Because you do. You're awesome. If you need to wear your heart on wallet instead of your sleeve, you may not feel secure not only in your relationship, but also in yourself. Work on that and know you determine your own inner worth--not how much money you plunk down on a dude! Source: ShutterStockDo you think you give too much to your boyfriend? Have you ever thought you were too generous with a gift for a guy? Do you think giving stuff to guys will make them like you more? Tell us in the comments!
This girl hates that her boyfriend always pays for dates!
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