Boards
Here are my feelings on PDA: I really don’t believe that you should let other people or rules define your relationship. If it doesn’t make you uncomfortable to show affection, then who am I to dictate your life? Love is a nice thing!
That said, there are lines where the amount that people are uncomfortable outweighs the happiness you cause, and in many instances, it is worth being aware of that. I’m talking that when you’re just trying to watch a TV show, and your sister and her boyfriend are basically making out on top of each other on the couch. You both share this space, but you feel like you are intruding on a private moment. Not fair!
So what can you do if people are PDA-ing right up in your face? On one hand, you don’t want to be a total buzzkill, but you also shouldn’t have to be supremely uncomfortable in your own vicinity. So what are your options when it comes to dealing with someone else’s public displays of affection that kind of gross you out. Let’s take a look.
Don’t Lose Your Cool
If you freak out at the PDA couple, it could seem like you’re overreacting (even if your points are valid) and they may be less likely to be taken seriously. Go in with a cool head. You don’t want to ban your friends from ever being around you. That’s a little over the top. You just need to come up with a solution, and that means you have to…
Say Something
Guess what? If you don’t say anything, they are never going to know you feel uncomfortable. Yeah, maybe they should get that making out all over your couch while you are third wheeling makes you feel weird, but sometimes love makes people act silly. Saying “ew” to yourself repeatedly, does not count as saying something.
Don’t Badmouth Them
It doesn’t help to spread the news of PDA far and wide – then you’re just making it even MORE public! Keep the issues between you and the PDA-ing party. The more you talk about it behind their backs, the less likely you may motivate yourself to talk about it with them, but the more likely you are to get caught badmouthing them. Then you’re both kind of on even “offending” footing and you lose your ability to act like the annoyed party.
Be Honest
Instead of just conveying how disgusted you are, have a real person-to-person conversation. Say that you are being made to feel like you are a burden, which isn’t fair because it’s not like you’re intruding on anything behind closed doors. People may not even realize their PDA is making you uncomfortable, so being honest (but mature) is important when it comes with how to deal.
Also, Be Specific
The things about PDA that bother you may not even just be the actual physical stuff. Sometimes PDA couples may say things that make you uncomfortable. In that sense, an innocent hand holding that wouldn’t normally bother you because super awkward when the dialogue above is added to it. It may not be obvious, but that’s some PDA and if it bothers you, at least get it out in the open.
Are You Being Reasonable?
Real talk: do you just not like them as a couple? That may mean that even moments you normally find cute or endearing between a couple seem like totally over-the-top PDA to you. Figure out what kind of affection doesn’t make you uncomfortable – it’s not like you’re someone who wants to live in a world where everyone suppresses love! Sometimes little bits of PDA (like Andrew and Emma!) can be cute. It’s okay though if you feel like watching their tongues smash each other is not cute. Figure out where your lines are so that you and the couple can hopefully reach an understanding.
Be Careful With The Blame
It takes two to tango (and to PDA), so if your friend is making out right in front of you, don’t skip over her and start getting mad only at her lip-locking partner. Actually, considering you know your friend better, she is probably the one you should talk to about how you feel, rather than somehow trying to devise a plan to keep this other person away in order to keep the PDA at bay.
No One-Upping
If their PDA makes you uncomfortable, it is unwise to now try and increase your PDA with a partner in an attempt to make them feel more uncomfortable. This escalating PDA war will not end well. The method to addressing PDA is to not introduce more PDA.
Walk Away
Okay, it’s not like they own the space, but sometimes it is just better to remove yourself from the situation. Rather than keep getting mad, take a little bit of a breather to get away from the PDA. I know this isn’t the fun answer, but sometimes it’s the only one that is going to work in the moment. Who knows – maybe it’s just a one-time thing or a phase and soon your shared space will be back to being PDA-free.
How do you feel when other couples show PDA in front of you? Have you ever told someone to quit the PDA in your presence? Tell us in the comments!
How Do I Tell My Boyfriend That I Don’t Like PDA?
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