How do you get a guy to like you? Manipulation! At least, that’s what one nut job is trying to sell us. A hypnotist has a new book out that explains how to leave messages, hints and manipulative signs to get a guy to like you.
Some of the stuff sounds innocent enough: Find out his likes and dislikes, make plans for the future. Fair enough. But the author takes it a step further: When he suggests we make plans with a guy after a great date, he suggest we phrase it a certain way: “We’ll go out again, right?” Doesn’t that sound a little . . . meek? Passive? If you like him, isn’t it better to be direct instead of passive aggressive?
The hypnotist also suggests some things that annoy me even more: Lurk him online. (Right, because that never gives people the wrong idea.) Leave magazines with relationship or wedding themes lying around for him to see to plant seeds in his head. (And, realistically, to freak him out and send him running for the hills.) He also suggests that you only hang out with other couples. (What, single friends aren’t cool anymore? Psh.) Most annoying? He wants you to start adopting the guy’s style, because apparently it’s impossible that this dude would like you for who you are. That bothers me more than anything.
Listen, manipulation is great for getting you what you want, and it works wonderfully for advertising and media companies, but manipulation of people’s emotions and lives? Why is anyone promoting this at all? And think of it this way: If the genders were reversed and a guy was using manipulation to get a girl to like him, wouldn’t this sound somehow twice as creepy?
If a guy likes you, he likes you. If he doesn’t like you, dressing like his twin and asking passive aggressive questions about the future isn’t going to make him like you. It’s going to make him think you’re nuts and make you feel like less than yourself, which is absurd, because you, my dear, are awesome. And honestly–why would you want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with you? Why would you want to waste your time and energy on forcing someone to feel something they don’t? It’s exhausting and no one is going to be happy at the end of it: He’s gonna feel duped and you’re gonna feel pressure to act like someone you’re not.
Instead of dwelling on how to get a guy to like you, focus on how you feel about him once you get to know him better. This manipulation isn’t just manipulating the guy, but also your own emotions: You may be so intent on “winning” this guy that you fail to realize whether or not he’s even capable of making you happy or compatible with you at all.
How do you get a guy to like you? By being yourself. If the guy is worth his salt, that will be enough.
Have you ever used manipulation to get a guy to like you? How did it end up? Do you think it’s fair to use manipulation to get a guy to like you? Tell us in the comments!