School Tells Students They Can’t Have Best Friends

I’m lucky to have a lot of close friends, but I only have a few best friends. Not 15 like Taylor Swift, but a handful. My best friends are the ones who are there for me at the drop of a hat who will never judge me for what I do, even if they don’t agree with me. They will always defend me and answer the phone in the middle of the night. They would do anything for me, and vice versa.

I don’t know how I would have made it this far in life without my best friends. I think I owe a lot of my success to my BFFs because they were right by my side, encouraging me and helping me along the way. Best friends are essential in life, in my opinion.

Well, Thomas’s private day school in Battersea, South-West London doesn’t seem to agree. In fact, the school doesn’t allow students to have best friends. Headmaster Ben Thomas said, “You can get very possessive friendships, and it is much easier if they share friendships and have a wide range of good friends rather than obsessing too much about who their best friend is.”

While I think it’s important to foster socialization and friendship among all students, you can’t force everyone to get along. And you certainly can’t ban students from having best friends! That’s ridiculous! This BFF ban isn’t officially a school policy, but Thomas said he’d be “happy” to make it one.

Thomas goes on to explain that “These obsessive friendships can be very hurtful for those who are left out of them, and ostracising is as painful as physical bullying. These very obsessive friendships do need intervention and careful management by adults.”

Having a best friend does not make you a bully. If there is bullying going on, then the school should focus on how to resolve bullying. I spent a lot of time with my best friends in school to the point where we would only hang out with each other. But that’s what happens with groups of friends! When you find a group that you like, you hang out with that group, right? That didn’t mean I wasn’t friends with other students, but I preferred to hang out with my friends.

I think it’s absolutely insane to tell students who they can and can’t be friends with. And how will this be monitored? If you’re spending every lunch period with the same friend, you get a detention? It’s so stupid, I can’t even stand it.

I understand the idea that kids need to learn to be friends with all kinds of people. That’s important! But you will not get along with everyone in your life. That’s human nature, and it’s silly and quite ignorant that a school thinks otherwise. It’s even sillier that they think they have the right to tell their students who they choose to spend their time with.

I know personally, a best friend ban wouldn’t have stopped my BFFs and I from spending time together.

What would you do if your school told you that you could’t have a best friend? Can you imagine life without best friends? Tell us in the comments!

And I think best friends are better than frenemies, don’t you?

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  • Linz

    As someone on the Autism spectrum I find friends difficult to make, I lack some social skills and tend to obsess with different thing more than everyone else. But I’m very close with those friends I have best friends are the only way I can get through every day at school without having a meltdown halfway through this policy would be ridiculous to enforce it would do more damage than good especially with young children

  • Emily

    I agree that it could be very difficult to enforce such a ban, and it probably wouldn’t be effective. However, I can say from personal experience that ostracising caused by best friends can be very hurtful, even if the people who have best friends are not intentionally bullying anyone. When I was in 6th grade, there were 5 sets of best friends of the girls in my class, and me. I didn’t have a best friend, and although all the other girls were always nice and friendly to me, I definitely felt left out.

  • Valen

    This is totally insane! you can’t stop your love for someone and I don’t thing he is teaching something good to their students

  • blondebrai

    I understand what he means, I’ve never had someone I would specifically call a best friend but it is slightly hurtful when my friends break off to their little groups of best friends and I’m left on the side. It’s by no means their fault but it still feels just as bad as bullying.

  • Nicole

    this happened to me in a less obvious way… I had a best friend from grade 1 to 4 and we were inseparable for everything. Then in grade 5 we were split into different classes. Pretty sure this didn’t happen by coincidence; powers that be probably thought it was a good idea so we would get use to working with other classmates. Yes, I met and made other good friends but this was a huge upset to my 10 year old life.