I Lost My Friends When I Lost My Virginity

I lost my virginity when I was sixteen. I was young, but I was ready in my mind. It was with someone I was completely in love with, and I don’t regret it.

But I do regret telling my friends about it. My friend group at the time was not the same group I had by graduation. I was friends with a lot of people in school, but my main group was filled with a lot of shy, conservative and extremely religious girls. Most of them were not okay with the idea of sex before marriage, which is totally fine. I, however, believed that you could have sex when you wanted to.

One of my friend’s was on the fence about sex, so I told her because I wanted her to know that she could talk to me about it. But she told the rest of the group. And they got mad at me for it. One of them told me that she couldn’t believe I would disrespect myself like that.

Uh, excuse me? It is my body, my life, my choice. I never judged them for waiting, and I expected the same courtesy to not be judged for having sex.

It was really upsetting at that age because I didn’t quite know how judgmental your own friends could be. I fortunately had other friends in different groups that I started to spend more time with. But I endured a lot of mean looks across the cafeteria and heard a lot of nasty things muttered when I passed them in the halls. I learned that any real friend wouldn’t judge me and abandon me for my decisions.

Thankfully, the friends that I have now aren’t like that. They love me no matter what I do and are always supportive.

Sex is a very personal thing, and your sex life is no one’s business. Even though I made it a friend’s business by telling her about it, it wasn’t her business to tell the rest of the group.

I know that I didn’t do anything wrong because I did what was right for me. I just wish my friends had seen it that way too.

Have you lost your virginity? Did your friends get mad at you for it? Did you get mad at your friends for losing theirs? Tell us in the comments!

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  • Jessica

    I recently lost my virginity and all of my guy friends got so judgmental and called me a slut and a whore. Luckily I have other friends, real friends, who love me no matter what.

    • Carl

      Jessica, any of you guy friends who call you names are just jealous they weren’t the one you gave your virginity to. You didn’t “lose” your virginity; you gave it away! Don’t let this stop you from having sex with anyone YOU choose because it is fantastic when you like your partner. I am so very glad that most of your friends love you and stick by you! Just don’t hang out with those that call you names.

  • Amy

    That’s ridiculous it is your life, your body and you were 16 and thats old enough to have sex! You were in love too so it was not like you did it randomly. Honestly you didn’t deserve any of that from your group of “friends”. If I did it in the same situation as you at 16, my friends would honestly be a bit miffed and shocked but they would accept it because it is my decision. I am glad you learned a lesson out of it though, and anyone that totally disses you because you had sex at 16 with a guy you love is not worth it at all 🙂

  • Marcia

    All my friends think I’m a whore cuz I lost my virginity wen I was 13 but I was in love even tho I was young I knew what I was doin n u can’t change the past soooo…

    • Theresa

      Marcia, I gave away my virginity when I was thirteen and I don’t regret it. Most of my friends were excited for me and wanted to know all about it. I told them how wonderful it was for me and how I continued to have intercourse with more boys every day that first week. They know I still have sex often with many boys and they are still my friends. I don’t know where you live or how the teenagers behave but where I live most of my friends have sex and only a few are judgmental. I am fifteen now sex is a big part of my life!