10 Names For A Period That Kind Of Gross Me Out

What do you call your period in public? I mean, “period” is usually pretty simple enough – perhaps bystanders would think you are having a chat about punctuation and grammar. But I get that even though periods are totally natural, they can be a little embarrassing to discuss.

In those cases, you may want to speak in code. In fact, some people turn to a few options that are a little more… linguistically creative for referring to menstruation. And let me tell you, some of these get very creative to the point where I kind of find them a little bit gross.

If you’re cool using them, no judgment and more power to you! I just know that I can’t use any of these phrases to talk about my period without feeling the slightest bit grossed out. So here are ten period names that make me uncomfortable and why:


Ride The Cotton Pony

I'm really weirded out by this phrase. Like... I get it (the whole "pad is to saddle" analogy), but I don't really want to get it.

Source: Shutterstock.com

Having The Painters In

Because comparing a period to some kind of art activity does not sit well with me. Nope, just doesn't.

Source: Shutterstock.com

The Crimson Wave

Tidal waves are massive. A crimson wave... I don't want to think about that brewing down there. Although Cher Horowitz had no problem saying she was "surfing the crimson wave" (to her teacher, no less), I wish not to think about surfing in relation to periods.

Source: Shutterstock.com

Opening The Flood Gates

See previous slide about "waves." While actually saying "flood gates" isn't gross, when I think about comparing a period to the sheer magnitude that is an open flood gate, I start getting queasy.

Source: Shutterstock.com

The Red River

Okay, last water one I swear (but honorable mention to "the waterfall"). Rivers just don't stop flowing. I don't want to think of my period never stopping... ever. So yeah, grossed out.

Source: Shutterstock.com

Shark Week

Even though this name is based on a myth, I still think it's kind of gross to think about being hunted by sharks during your period. Shudder.

Source: Shutterstock.com

On The Blob

This was a photo search result for "blob." Why would I want to think about my period being like dealing with some creepy alien monster like this every month? Gah, kinda gross.

Source: Shutterstock.com

The Tomato Soup Is Overcooked

This is apparently a phrase from the Netherlands, but I guess I don't like associating menstruation with meals.

Source: Shutterstock.com

Clam With Red Sauce

Yeah, another food one. Again, I just don't want to associate periods and food. It doesn't sit well for me.

Source: Shutterstock.com

Leak Week

During a period, getting a leak is not particularly appealing. In fact, avoiding it can cause some stress. Announcing this entire week will be full of leaking makes me stressed which makes me feel sick (and feeling sick is gross).

Source: Shutterstock.com

What terminology do you use to refer to your period? Do you ever get grossed out by terms other people use to refer to menstruation? Tell me in the comments.

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18 Comments

  1. avatarAnonymous says:

    My friends and I call it TOM.
    Get it Time Of Month?

  2. avatarLittle darling says:

    Me and my friends have loads of coad words and one of those is period. our code word is ‘cue’, it’s pretty good though it kind of akward when i watch Snooker with commentry

  3. avatarKatherine says:

    My friends and I call it Red Ninja.

  4. avatartherainbowpanda says:

    Ever since that one doctor who episode came out, I’ve been calling it the crimson horror.

  5. avatarAndrea says:

    My Friend would say My kool- laid is dripping, Lol too me that is funny but gross

  6. avatarviolethula says:

    A friend of mine calls it her little friend

  7. avatarAlejandra says:

    I don’t know why girls in our society are made to feel like their periods are disgusting and unnatural. We’re supposed to do whatever we can to conceal our periods… I honestly don’t even want to count how many times you used the word “gross” in your slideshow. The slideshow was funny and amusing, but I wish all the period hate would’ve just been left out.

    • avatarPoeticInjustice says:

      Well, some girls have serious problem with their period. Some girls bleed heavy, and it is painful.

      Your opinion is kind of biased.

  8. avatarAlicia says:

    or: dalmatian!
    ~ya, know cause dalmatians have spots on their fur and its like a period.

  9. avatarAnneley says:

    we say steve…

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  11. avatarRami says:

    Ragtime; Uncle Red is visiting, cousin Dot, Aunt Flo; Gotta get a bed for my Uncle Red.

  12. avatarapoeticone says:

    My sisters, my mother, and I refer to our periods as “ragtime”. It sounds like jazz, but it’s like saying “on the rag” only catchy (or so I think). My friend would say she was having her goldfish (???) or something, and would inform me when she needed to change her “goldfish bowl”
    ACK!! The food thing is pretty disgusting, though. I must admit .

  13. avatarCharlotte says:

    In France they say: “Les Anglais ont debarque” (long e at the end, i can’t type the accent right now). It means “The English have arrived.” My friends and I always laugh about that one.

  14. avatarAwkwardFangirl says:

    Well one that I’ve heard that I thought was a little weird was,
    “Is your red headed cousin visiting for the week?”
    lol cx

  15. avatarKim says:

    My friends and I call it shark week because a sharks brain is shaped similarly to a uterus :)

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