What do you call your period in public? I mean, “period” is usually pretty simple enough – perhaps bystanders would think you are having a chat about punctuation and grammar. But I get that even though periods are totally natural, they can be a little embarrassing to discuss.
In those cases, you may want to speak in code. In fact, some people turn to a few options that are a little more… linguistically creative for referring to menstruation. And let me tell you, some of these get very creative to the point where I kind of find them a little bit gross.
If you’re cool using them, no judgment and more power to you! I just know that I can’t use any of these phrases to talk about my period without feeling the slightest bit grossed out. So here are ten period names that make me uncomfortable and why:
Ride The Cotton PonyI'm really weirded out by this phrase. Like... I get it (the whole "pad is to saddle" analogy), but I don't really want to get it. Source: Shutterstock.com
Having The Painters InBecause comparing a period to some kind of art activity does not sit well with me. Nope, just doesn't. Source: Shutterstock.com
The Crimson WaveTidal waves are massive. A crimson wave... I don't want to think about that brewing down there. Although Cher Horowitz had no problem saying she was "surfing the crimson wave" (to her teacher, no less), I wish not to think about surfing in relation to periods. Source: Shutterstock.com
Opening The Flood GatesSee previous slide about "waves." While actually saying "flood gates" isn't gross, when I think about comparing a period to the sheer magnitude that is an open flood gate, I start getting queasy. Source: Shutterstock.com
The Red RiverOkay, last water one I swear (but honorable mention to "the waterfall"). Rivers just don't stop flowing. I don't want to think of my period never stopping... ever. So yeah, grossed out. Source: Shutterstock.com
Shark WeekEven though this name is based on a myth, I still think it's kind of gross to think about being hunted by sharks during your period. Shudder. Source: Shutterstock.com
On The BlobThis was a photo search result for "blob." Why would I want to think about my period being like dealing with some creepy alien monster like this every month? Gah, kinda gross. Source: Shutterstock.com
The Tomato Soup Is OvercookedThis is apparently a phrase from the Netherlands, but I guess I don't like associating menstruation with meals. Source: Shutterstock.com
Clam With Red SauceYeah, another food one. Again, I just don't want to associate periods and food. It doesn't sit well for me. Source: Shutterstock.com
Leak WeekDuring a period, getting a leak is not particularly appealing. In fact, avoiding it can cause some stress. Announcing this entire week will be full of leaking makes me stressed which makes me feel sick (and feeling sick is gross). Source: Shutterstock.com
Even more period info coming atcha!
What terminology do you use to refer to your period? Do you ever get grossed out by terms other people use to refer to menstruation? Tell me in the comments.