How awkward is it when you see your ex for the first time after a breakup? Even if it wasn’t a really bad breakup, it still feels painfully weird to see someone you used to be so close to without being able to hug or kiss them hello. It’s one of those situations that make you frantically think, “What do I do, what do I do?!”

Sometimes when we see our ex for the first time, it can make us act a little… crazy. True story: once I went to a party that my ex was at also (I didn’t know he would be there). When I saw him walking in my direction, I literally ran away. Ran. Away. And later on when we accidentally made eye contact, I pretended like I didn’t even know him… even though things really weren’t that bad between us. Not my greatest moment.

So what do you do when you see your ex? I’ve since learned from my mistakes and have put together some tips on how to deal when you see your ex… so that you don’t make things even more awkward than they already are.

Skip this Ad

Next

ADVERTISEMENT

• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 

Don't Panic!

The moment you realize that your ex is only a few feet away from you for the first time in weeks is a big moment. Your heart starts pounding, your head starts spinning and you immediately either grab your friend or text her and say, "OMG, he's here," and then you freak out a little bit (Unless you're just naturally calm, in which case, I envy you). Let yourself freak out a little bit - it is awkward - but try not to go into full freak-out mode. That is never going to make anything better.

Source: ShutterStock

Be As Casual As Possible

Once you've talked yourself out of having a mini panic attack, try to be as casual possible and act like you don't even care that he's there. If you're at a party with a group of people, continue talking to your friends like nothing is going on. If you're in class, keep on doing your work. Basically, whatever it is you were doing before you saw him - keep doing it. Even if you don't feel casual, just act like everything is fine. It will give off a much better vibe.

Source: ShutterStock

Say Hello...

If you guys are on good terms or sort of good terms, don't be afraid to say a quick and polite hello. You don't need to run up to him the second you see him - don't do that - but if he approaches you or you two end up right next to each other, just say hi. It might feel really awkward, but sometimes it's better to be polite and mature than to ignore someone completely.

Source: ShutterStock

...Then Stay Away

Once you've said hello and have had a little small talk, it's time to walk away. This is your ex we're talking about. There is no reason to stick around and fill him in on everything that is happening with your life. Don't get me wrong - it's great to be friends with your ex. But I think that can only happen after a lot of time. If you run into each other two weeks after your breakup, don't let yourself get trapped in an emotional conversation... unless you want to be miserable.

Source: ShutterStock

Keep Your Friends By Your Side

This is the time when you need your friends right by your side. If you guys are at a party, stay surrounded by your friends. If they're not with you, call or text them as soon as you can to talk. Your friends will cheer you up, remind you that everything is okay and give you something else to think about. Don't be afraid to lean on them!

Source: ShutterStock

Don't Try To Get His Attention

Remember what I said about being casual and polite? Yeah, neither of those things include flirting with every dude around you in order to try and make your ex jealous. They also don't include laughing loudly and trying to look like you're having an AMAZING time just to show him how happy you are without him. You don't need to do that desperate stuff - it screams, "look at me!" and that's not what you want. The best way to show your ex that you're better off without him is to be polite but distant and casual, like I said. That will show him that he's really barely on your mind (even if he is).

Source: ShutterStock

If He's With Another Girl...

Ugh. The only thing that can make seeing your ex worse is seeing your ex with a new chick. Not only is it excruciatingly awkward, it also hurts. To show that you don't care about this girl, say a quick hello and move on. Unless this girl is your BFF, don't be mean to her because that looks immature. I know you may want to give her a dirty look and go all Mean Girls on her and be like, "Oh, I love your sweater! Where did you get it?" but resist that urge. Like I said, looking like you don't care means being mature and casual.

Source: ShutterStock

If You're With Another Guy...

If you're the one who is already with someone new, don't do the thing where you try to show him off to your ex to be like, "Oooh, look at me, I moved on!" That's mean to your new guy because it's basically using him to make your ex jealous. Instead, politely introduce him if it comes up and that's it. Don't shove your tongue down his throat or start flirting loudly in order to get attention. It's weird.

Source: ShutterStock

Avoid Him If Needed

If you're reading these steps and thinking to yourself, "there is NO way I can act calm, cool and collected in front of my ex right now," then go the opposite way and avoid him completely. It's okay not to want to say hello or act like the bigger person sometimes. But if you're going to ignore him, do it as subtly as possible. Try not to make eye contact. Pull out your phone and make a call. Slowly walk away and go into another room or space away from him. And if you have to, leave wherever you are. If he's going to make you burst into tears or feel absolutely horrible, don't force yourself to be around him just to look like you're okay.

Source: ShutterStock

Let Yourself Feel Sad

Honestly, you're probably going to feel pretty bummed after you see your ex for the first time, no matter how well things go. That's okay! It takes a long time to get over a breakup and you shouldn't expect yourself to be magically okay right away. The first time you see an ex is supposed to be tough. Go home and cry it out or indulge in some ice cream and funny movies to make yourself feel better.

Source: ShutterStock

Have you ever done anything embarrassing in front of an ex? What do you do when you see an ex? Tell me in the comments.

7 of the worst ways to break up with someone

Don’t forget to follow us on Twitter