If you want sex and your partner doesn’t–or vice versa–it can result in a big mess of things. Your egos can get bruised because one of you feels rejected and the other feels guilty. Plus, it means whichever one of you did want sex is unfulfilled. If and when your sex drive doesn’t match up with your partner’s, it can even lead to one or more of you feeling unloved. No one deserves that!
If your relationship is otherwise solid but your sex drive doesn’t always jibe with your boyfriend’s, it doesn’t mean your romance is doomed. Here’s how to deal!
Don't Take Anything PersonallySometimes if a guy wants sex and you don't, or if you want sex and he doesn't, it can hurt. He may feel like you don't dig him, you may feel undesirable--but most of the time, it's neither of those things. Sometimes you or he just can't get into it, and a lot of things are play: If one of you are stressed or in a bad mood about something else, it can totally affect your libido. Don't let a difference in sex drive destroy either of your self-esteem! Source: Shutterstock
Ask Yourself Why It's Not WorkingIf it's just this one time, ask yourself why you're not down for it. Are you just not in the mood? Need more foreplay? Think your period's coming soon and are freaking out over it? Do you just want to turn the lights off? Those are all fair and he'll understand (even if period talk freaks him out). Source: Shutterstock
Maintain A Sense Of Humor!Communication is super important to anyone's sex life, but it can seem so awkward and heavy to talk about. Keeping it light will open you both up a bit more to talk things over and find a compromise. Source: Shutterstock
Get Each Other Worked UpSometimes if a guy wants sex and you don't want sex, it's because he's not working enough at ramping you up--and vice versa. Racing to the finish line may only work for one of you. The other should be a little more patient (and make out and do a bit more other stuff to pass the time and make it easier)! Source: Shutterstock
Try A Change Of SceneSometimes when one of you doesn't want sex, it's because stuff has become a little too routine. Switch things up--even if it just means leaving the lights on or something. Novelty can make things exciting for both of you, so your sex drives are more likely to match up. Source: Shutterstock
Do you have issues with your sex drive not matching up with your partner’s? How do you deal when you want sex and your partner doesn’t? What do you do when your partner wants sex and you don’t? Tell us in the comments!