If they are posting about each other more, are they more in love? Source: Shutterstock

If you don’t constantly write notes to your boyfriend on Facebook, then you probably don’t really love him off-line either. Right? Right?! This is basically the gist of a study I just read about on Cosmo.

Basically, this study looked at how people used Facebook and found that people who were more frequently in pictures or tagged statuses with their significant others had closer relationships.

First of all, the sample size was pretty small (276 people). Then, there’s just the context. The “closeness” evaluation sounds like it came from people’s own reports. What closeness means to one couple isn’t necessarily the same for other couples. Does that mean you ACTUALLY have a closer relationship than other people who don’t?

Okay, so the study says those people “tend to” be closer, but still. I’m rolling my eyes, because honestly I feel this is all relative and personal preference. I think I’m most put off by this study because it didn’t really mesh with my personal experiences and observations, which I think are pretty varied.

I rarely post on my boyfriend’s Facebook, maybe having posted a handful of things over the past year. Recently a friend posted a picture of the two of us, but prior to that, our most recent picture together was from 2011.

Obviously, we are not very Facebook active, but I don’t think that really speaks to our romantic closeness at all. I think it just speaks to our social media habits. I know many girls who decide not to put their relationship status on Facebook for personal reasons. I never take that as a sign for how they feel about their partner. It’s just how they decide to manage their online life.

On the flip side, I know couples who made a big show of their love on Facebook, which ultimately turned out to be kind of a band-aid for bigger problems in their relationship. I am sure there are also couples who maybe don’t feel super close to one another who don’t post on each others’ profiles either.

It’s not that I don’t believe that there are very in love couples who are very public about it with their Facebook activity. It’s not really my thing, but I know couples who like to talk about their relationship on social media. Truly, more power to them! That’s the great thing about relationships – everyone can do what works best for them.

Just because all relationships are so different, I have a hard time accepting this “more likely to be close” claim. I actually think things like this could promote insecurities about how you are “supposed” to act in a relationship. You don’t ever need to prove your love to anyone else, nor should you feel like you have to hide it if that’s how you roll.

I don’t think that me posting repeatedly on my boyfriend’s Facebook wall is going to make me suddenly start feeling closer to him. Honestly, it will probably make me uncomfortable because that’s not my relationship style, and potentially cause a lot of awkwardness and issues.

So whether you guys have been posting “I love yous” on Facebook back and forth all day, or you can’t even remember the last time you wrote on your partner’s wall, just know that as long as you guys feel close, I say that’s what matters. In your face, study!

What are your thoughts on this research? Do you think that “closer” couples tend to act a certain way online? How do you approach social media when it comes to sharing about your relationship? Tell us in the comments!

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