Why Do We Always Blame The Other Girl?

I’ve recently been briefed on a situation that happened within a group of my friends. Basically a girl was seeing a guy, he hooked up with one of her friends but they didn’t tell her. He decided to confess a long while after. Want to guess what happened?

The girl and guy are happily an official couple, and she has since decided not to be friends with the other girl and anyone else who knew about it.

It got me thinking about why girls always blame the other girl in these situations. It actually makes zero sense. Last time I checked, it takes two people to participate in a hookup.

In the situation with my friends, something should have been said right away. But I think the outcome would have still been the same. The guy doesn’t get blamed. Sure, the girl will be mad at the guy for a minute. But it seems like, in most cases, the guy is forgiven and the other girl is the worst person ever for the rest of eternity.

I’ve asked a ton of different girls why this appears to be the case, and they all have said that it’s because we like the guy too much to blame him.

I have to say from personal experience, that sounds about right. I dated a guy that cheated on me several times (with different girls even!) and every single time, I forgave him and blamed the other girl. It finally hit me the last time it happened that I should have been blaming him all along.

Maybe it’s because we’re too competitive with other girls. If a guy strays and comes back to a girl, she feels like she won. Or maybe it’s that girls should know better under the idea that we think guys can’t help it.

Whatever the reason, it needs to stop. The guy is just as much guilty as the other girl.

Why do you think girls usually blame the other girl? Have you ever blamed the other girl in a cheating situation? Did you ever really forgive the guy? Tell us in the comments!
 

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Posted in: Relationships
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5 Comments

  1. avatar Crystal says:

    I agree 100% I recently was the “other girl” but this time I knew about their relationship, but the guy said to me “we’re gonna be over soon, I just don’t wanna hurt her feelings” and honestly it left me with heart break to realize that he really wasn’t going to leave her for me and that he was just using me… Not for sex just to toy with my emotions. I blamed the girl for a long time calling her names and just scolding her when ever I got the chance to. But all along I should’ve been blaming the guy for his actions.

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  3. avatar Guenever says:

    You know. Having been the other girl about 3 times now, I can say this. I would never blame the other girl. You know why? I Never Once knew that those guys were taken. I found out weeks/months later when I was introduced to girlfriends who they apparently had been dating at the time. Sometimes, the girl is completely not at fault. Sometimes, it’s the guy lying to both girls. Just remember that.

  4. avatar Nicole says:

    Sometimes we blame the other girl because they try to bounce on unavailable men the second they see an opening. Ladies and guys, if you are having problems in your relationship, do NOT confide in a person of the opposite sex. There are woman (and men) out there that enjoy the thrill of taking someone away. If you begin to complain/discuss issues you’re having with your gf/bf/wife/husband, that other person may lack proper morals and respond with “you deserve better, I wouldn’t do that to you.” blah blah blah. Things like “if it doesn’t work out with him/her, keep me in mind. we would be good together.” Not to mention women who use sex to get unavailable men. Some women are jealous of a long-term commited relationship, and will do and say things to try to make any existing blemishes in your relationship much worse. They promise happiness and a way to escape from his problems, its almost like they are giving the guy the emotional or mental ok to cheat because there may be some issues in his relationship. If you are having problems in your relationship, they only way to work it out is to talk to the person you are having those problems with! Communicate any issues with your loved one and work through your problems together. Most of the time you still love them very much but don’t know how to deal with your problems, it’s not worth it to hurt them, break their heart, destroy their trust in you, and risk destroying your relationship.

  5. avatar Abbie says:

    I generally think it is because there are way too many girls that are shady and would be fast enough to put the knife in another’s back. Personally, I don’t do friendship groups anymore because I learned that there is always at least someone in the circle that pretends to like you, but is being completely fake because they know you are friends with the other girls. It’s the deception that is there that always leaves girls feeling cautious of others, so if they hear that their man has hooked up with another, they’re going to blame the other girl, whether they know the person or not even though their bf is just as much to blame.

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