Straight Talk With Shallon: Should I Tell My Crush I Like Him?

Hi Shallon,

I have a huge crush on a boy in my class! Next year I’m going to high school and this could be the last year I have to tell him I like him. He’s been showing me these mixed signals and I have no clue what to do! What’s the best way to tell him I love him?

–Flo

 

Dear Flirty Flo,

My take on how you tell a guy you like him? YOU DON’T.  Seriously. I’m firmly in the camp of not revealing too much to dudes.

I get that this urge to confess your feelings is SO strong, but I think doing that is actually a big mistake. Why? Well, from my experience, guys don’t really know how to react. And honestly, girls don’t either. Think about it. What would you do if out of the blue someone was like, “I really, really like you!” Probably say “Thanks” and then run away, right? Even if you liked the person! It’s just weird to get a feelings confession out of the blue.

So, even if he does like you back, he’s not going to know what to do with this information. Ask you out? Kiss you? Declare that you’re BF/GF? Again, even if that’s truly what he wants to do, putting him on the spot like that will make him freeze up and panic.

Trust me, he'd rather play Xbox than hear about your feelings. Source: Shutterstock

Trust me, he’d rather play Xbox than hear about your feelings.
Source: Shutterstock

Instead, think about your ultimate goal. Is it to get all of this emotion off your chest because it’s driving you crazy? If it is, write a letter. Not a letter to send to your crush, but one just for yourself. Get out every little gushy urge and schmoopy thought to help take the pressure off.

Or, do you just want to spend more time with him? Then draw him to you! How? Through subtle eye contactThrough striking up a convo about a mutual interestThrough inviting, relaxed body language that says “Come talk to me” not “I’m insanely nervous.” Play a little game of hard-to-get by being a little more mysterious and flirty. This will get his attention without making him feel trapped.

But if you really, reeeeaaaally can’t resist taking the reigns, ask him to hang out in a casual way like, “Hey, a bunch of us are going to see Pain & Gain this weekend, wanna join?” Asking him for a hang or a date is much easier for him to process than a huge OMFG I LOVE YOU SO MUCH declaration over lunch break. 

Taking it slow and easy is the best way to ensure that he doesn’t freak out–and you don’t either!

XOXO
Shallon

Feel free to leave your love Qs in the comments or drop me an email to AskShallon@gmail.com and follow me on Twitter and Instagram @ShallonXO

 

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  • Angelie Zambrano

    Ok so there’s this guy I like and we text and talk all the time. He is the most popular guy in school and his girlfriend is my arch enemy. I know that he likes me and she knows it to. He asked me if I liked him and I freaked and said that I didn’t know. So now I don’t know if I should just tell him or wait.?

  • Sabrina

    Ok so theres this guy I like and I sit next to him in class. My friend told me she liked him too and I embarrassed her in front of him by saying THIS GIRL LIKES YOU. It seemed like he didnt care so I told my friend to tell him I like him too and it seemed like he didnt care either. What should I do now?

    • Angelie Zambrano

      Honestly you should just move on in sure there’s a guy out there who truly likes you?

  • Doreen

    I have a crush on a Guy I tried telling him the truth but his reaction toward me pushed me away, I even don’t talk to him but it pains me alot. I just feel its the high time I tell him the whole truth but I am confused is it the right thing?

  • ninja fer

    Well some of my guy friends have told me that it’s a good thing if you go up to the guy and tell him how you feel. Obviously you’re not gonna straight up go up to him and say “I like you!” Because probably both of you will get freaked out. So what you do, is you GET HIM ALONE, and try to start a conversation, just a normal conversation, say a joke maybe so you feel comfortable talking to him and when YOU feel it’s the right moment say it! Not just an “I like you” out of nowhere but causally say “you know there’s something I wanna tell you, I have a crush on you/ I like you” don’t say I love you that’s too much a strong feeling. Um actually gonna.tell my crush how I feel about him soon enough when the moment comes so yeah 🙂

  • Sarah

    I told a dude I liked him in this same situation. 8th grade was almost over! Now I’m going to high school. But then, when I told him, he seemed a bit confused because we’ve been friends and in each other’s classes since 6th grade and I haven’t said a word ’til the last month of middle school. Yes, I still do have a crush on him…I tried to crush on others to get over him, but it hasn’t really worked…Now I have 3 crushes!! Woah, right? I’m confused at the moment, but it should be cleared up! 🙂 But him and I are still close friends.

  • Nobody Special

    Yeah. Good idea. Leave it all up to the boy. He’ll know what to do.

  • Aqsa

    Its damn true ! i keep my feelings a secret coz its no use confessing to a guy!
    Dey r alwayz busy wit der games.. :/ If a girl tells a guy dat she lyks him then d guy strts thinking negatively bout d gurl.. n will make fun of her among his friends.

  • Elsie

    Really? A boy would rather play video games than have a decent conversation with me? I think most men would take that as an insult.

    • shallon

      MEN would take it as an insult. But we’re not talking about men, we’re talking about BOYS–big difference!

  • bakerychaz

    Um…I don’t think this was the best advice. I had a big crush on a guy, but I chickened out of telling him I liked him. I’ve regretted it ever since. If you don’t try, you never know.

    • shallon

      True–I usually regret the stuff I don’t do! But the few times I have ‘fessed up to a crush, it was so painful and awkward and just terrible that I realized “Hey, this is way worse than the ‘what if’ of never telling him’ and maybe I should let him come to me next time!” Just my experience!