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Hi Shallon,

I have a huge crush on a boy in my class! Next year I’m going to high school and this could be the last year I have to tell him I like him. He’s been showing me these mixed signals and I have no clue what to do! What’s the best way to tell him I love him?

–Flo

Dear Flirty Flo,

My take on how you tell a guy you like him? YOU DON’T.  Seriously. I’m firmly in the camp of not revealing too much to dudes.

I get that this urge to confess your feelings is SO strong, but I think doing that is actually a big mistake. Why? Well, from my experience, guys don’t really know how to react. And honestly, girls don’t either. Think about it. What would you do if out of the blue someone was like, “I really, really like you!” Probably say “Thanks” and then run away, right? Even if you liked the person! It’s just weird to get a feelings confession out of the blue.

So, even if he does like you back, he’s not going to know what to do with this information. Ask you out? Kiss you? Declare that you’re BF/GF? Again, even if that’s truly what he wants to do, putting him on the spot like that will make him freeze up and panic.

Trust me, he’d rather play Xbox than hear about your feelings.
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Instead, think about your ultimate goal. Is it to get all of this emotion off your chest because it’s driving you crazy? If it is, write a letter. Not a letter to send to your crush, but one just for yourself. Get out every little gushy urge and schmoopy thought to help take the pressure off.

Or, do you just want to spend more time with him? Then draw him to you! How? Through subtle eye contact. Through striking up a convo about a mutual interest. Through inviting, relaxed body language that says “Come talk to me” not “I’m insanely nervous.” Play a little game of hard-to-get by being a little more mysterious and flirty. This will get his attention without making him feel trapped.

But if you really, reeeeaaaally can’t resist taking the reigns, ask him to hang out in a casual way like, “Hey, a bunch of us are going to see Pain & Gain this weekend, wanna join?” Asking him for a hang or a date is much easier for him to process than a huge OMFG I LOVE YOU SO MUCH declaration over lunch break. 

Taking it slow and easy is the best way to ensure that he doesn’t freak out–and you don’t either!

XOXO
Shallon

Feel free to leave your love Qs in the comments or drop me an email to AskShallon@gmail.com and follow me on Twitter and Instagram @ShallonXO

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