What Does Cheating Mean? A Bro Fills Us In And Answers The Question “Is It Cheating If…”

Have you ever found yourself wondering “Is it cheating if…?” If you have, read on, girl, read on. Our soul sistas over at The Gloss recently posted an article on what counts as cheating according to a self-proclaimed bro and it was… quite enlightening. Or maybe the right way to describe it is to say that the comments made by this anonymous dude made all of us over at the Gurl office cringe and then feel really angry for the rest of the morning.

You would think that cheating means anything intimate you’re doing with a person who is not involved in your relationship, whether it’s emotional or physical. You would think that. If you’re anything like me, you would assume that cheating means kissing, having oral sex with, having sex with or developing a strong emotional connection with someone who isn’t your significant other. But, if you looked at cheating from this dude’s eyes, you would be wrong.

Let’s go over what this guys thinks cheating means, along with some choice quotes that sort of make me want to vomit. According to this “bro,” handjobs, kissing, getting naked, fingering someone and masturbating in front of someone is not considered cheating. This bro thinks that a guy with a girlfriend can do any of that stuff and get away with it because it’s not really cheating. Why? His reasoning behind fingering someone is that there’s not much of a difference between his finger and a tampon (oh, makes sense) and getting naked in front of someone isn’t cheating because he’s already seen a lot of women naked. Oh. So I guess if it’s something you’ve done with other people in the past, it can’t be cheating?

He also thinks that oral sex is only kind of cheating. This means that if he’s not getting oral sex from his girlfriend, it’s totally fine to get it from someone else. But if he is getting oral sex from his girlfriend, then it’s cheating. And, yeah, he thinks intercourse counts as cheating… but only if you don’t wear a condom. Obviously.

I'm going to assume this doesn't count as cheating to this bro. | Source: ShutterStock

I’m going to assume this doesn’t count as cheating to this bro. | Source: ShutterStock

What?! What?! I can’t even… my mind can’t even… I can’t process this. I have to wholeheartedly agree with the author, who says, “if you find yourself dating a self-proclaimed ‘bro,’ you better be damn sure you know what you’re getting into.”

Look, I get that cheating can mean different things to different people, but I certainly hope that there aren’t a multitude of guys running around out there who think that sex only counts as cheating if you forgo a condom. Because that’s insane. I don’t want to sound weird, but the dictionary defines cheating as “to be sexually unfaithful” to your partner. And the dictionary is pretty legit, soooo…

I mean, come on dude. There’s no difference between your finger and a tampon? You have got to be kidding me with that line. That was a joke, right? You were just trying to look like a huge douchebag, right? Please tell me that’s what was happening there.

But unfortunately, I don’t think that was what was happening. Sadly, I have heard other guys say similar things (although none on this stupid of a level). One of my guy friends once told me that threesomes don’t count as cheating because it’s a threesome. Solid explanation. I’ve had a few other guy friends (and girl friends!) tell me that they don’t consider kissing cheating. I can’t help but wonder if they would still feel that way if they had to watch their significant other make out with another person.

Like I said, I understand that cheating can mean something different to everyone. But I think, in general, cheating means doing something with another person that you wouldn’t want your partner to do to another person. Does that make sense? I also think that if you’re a firm believer that cheating doesn’t include kissing, handjobs, oral sex or sex with condoms, you need to make that clear to your partner, because not everyone feels that way. 

What does cheating mean to you? Do you think what this guy said about cheating is totally messed up? Or do you agree with him? Tell me in the comments.


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  • ♋️Rocker chick?

    The bro is a Player & shouldn’t be in a monogamous relationship. He clearly doesn’t know what boundaries are. Cheating emotional or physical never includes your partner. In fact it takes away from the relationship to give to the new one.
    Any intimate act with someone other than your partner is cheating.
    I don’t think watching porn is cheating anymore than looking at a playboy or playgirl magazine. They’re only images whether on screen or paper you can’t actually connect with the image. Flirting?…..hmmm…..More an ego boost if not trying to pick up for sex. Men love the ego boost so ladies flirt with your man!
    Cheating is a conscious choice as long as alcohol &/or drugs aren’t involved. Temptation is everywhere & if you can’t control yourself, be single. Otherwise you live with the guilt, lies, deceit & betrayal.

  • Allison

    No… just no….*smh*

  • mark

    I’m not a bro. But I am a guy and anything that you do that your significant other would not approve or consent to in a sexual or romantic sense is cheating. Whether your flirting, feeling up on someone or having sex. If your partner wouldn’t be OK with it, if you feel you should lie about it your probably cheating. Now that I’ve said this all of you will disagree with my next statement. Women cheat more than men. Their have been studies done to this effect. Now also take into consideration that flirting is cheating. Unless your bf is OK with you flirting with other people. I say people cause if your flirting with a girl that’s still cheating.

  • Tom saw

    fair game, i agree with you, all of the listings above are cheating. now here is the kicker, is watching porn cheating, although i will point out a threesome is not cheating so long as your partner is in it because you are not being unfaithful they are not opposed to it. but a thresome with two other girls and unknowing to your GF is like double cheating. is FLIRTING cheating? because i find girls do it all the time in their places of work when their boyfriends aren’t around.

  • Blueicefire66

    Cheating is kissing other girls, makeing out and all that no if and or buts about it. I hope he never has a girlfriend and treats her like that.

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