Have you ever found yourself wondering “Is it cheating if…?” If you have, read on, girl, read on. Our soul sistas over at The Gloss recently posted an article on what counts as cheating according to a self-proclaimed bro and it was… quite enlightening. Or maybe the right way to describe it is to say that the comments made by this anonymous dude made all of us over at the Gurl office cringe and then feel really angry for the rest of the morning.
You would think that cheating means anything intimate you’re doing with a person who is not involved in your relationship, whether it’s emotional or physical. You would think that. If you’re anything like me, you would assume that cheating means kissing, having oral sex with, having sex with or developing a strong emotional connection with someone who isn’t your significant other. But, if you looked at cheating from this dude’s eyes, you would be wrong.
Let’s go over what this guys thinks cheating means, along with some choice quotes that sort of make me want to vomit. According to this “bro,” handjobs, kissing, getting naked, fingering someone and masturbating in front of someone is not considered cheating. This bro thinks that a guy with a girlfriend can do any of that stuff and get away with it because it’s not really cheating. Why? His reasoning behind fingering someone is that there’s not much of a difference between his finger and a tampon (oh, makes sense) and getting naked in front of someone isn’t cheating because he’s already seen a lot of women naked. Oh. So I guess if it’s something you’ve done with other people in the past, it can’t be cheating?
He also thinks that oral sex is only kind of cheating. This means that if he’s not getting oral sex from his girlfriend, it’s totally fine to get it from someone else. But if he is getting oral sex from his girlfriend, then it’s cheating. And, yeah, he thinks intercourse counts as cheating… but only if you don’t wear a condom. Obviously.
What?! What?! I can’t even… my mind can’t even… I can’t process this. I have to wholeheartedly agree with the author, who says, “if you find yourself dating a self-proclaimed ‘bro,’ you better be damn sure you know what you’re getting into.”
Look, I get that cheating can mean different things to different people, but I certainly hope that there aren’t a multitude of guys running around out there who think that sex only counts as cheating if you forgo a condom. Because that’s insane. I don’t want to sound weird, but the dictionary defines cheating as “to be sexually unfaithful” to your partner. And the dictionary is pretty legit, soooo…
I mean, come on dude. There’s no difference between your finger and a tampon? You have got to be kidding me with that line. That was a joke, right? You were just trying to look like a huge douchebag, right? Please tell me that’s what was happening there.
But unfortunately, I don’t think that was what was happening. Sadly, I have heard other guys say similar things (although none on this stupid of a level). One of my guy friends once told me that threesomes don’t count as cheating because it’s a threesome. Solid explanation. I’ve had a few other guy friends (and girl friends!) tell me that they don’t consider kissing cheating. I can’t help but wonder if they would still feel that way if they had to watch their significant other make out with another person.
Like I said, I understand that cheating can mean something different to everyone. But I think, in general, cheating means doing something with another person that you wouldn’t want your partner to do to another person. Does that make sense? I also think that if you’re a firm believer that cheating doesn’t include kissing, handjobs, oral sex or sex with condoms, you need to make that clear to your partner, because not everyone feels that way.
What does cheating mean to you? Do you think what this guy said about cheating is totally messed up? Or do you agree with him? Tell me in the comments.