Can Guys Be Guilty Of Faking An Orgasm? Yes… And You Won’t Believe Why!

When it comes to faking an orgasm, it’s usually the ladies that get a bad rep. That may seem unfair, but let’s admit it – it’s kind of understandable. After all, when guys orgasm there is usually… evidence. When girls orgasm? Not so much. Therefore, it’s easier for women to get away with fake orgasms. As demonstrated by this scene in the classic movie When Harry Met Sally (watch it… now), it seems that all we have to do is squirm around and make some noises for it to be believable.

But maybe this assumption is a little bit more unfair than we originally thought. According to new research, guys do fake orgasms… and the reason why is pretty surprising. But we’ll get to that in a minute.

Dr. Abraham Morgentaler explores why guys fake orgasms in his new book Why Men Fake It: The Totally Unexpected Truth. It’s not because they want to get sex over with and it probably usually doesn’t happen when it’s a one-time hookup. According to this research, guys fake orgasms because they care about their partner more than they care about themselves. In other words, they want their partner to believe that they’re doing an amazing job, even if it’s really not working for them so much at the moment.

Even researchers were surprised by this finding. Dr. Morgentaler says that, “once a man is in a relationship, he seems to care more about his partner than himself. For every man who behaves badly, I can give you 10 who are dedicated and thoughtful and doing the best they know how to be a man and a solid partner.” This all makes sense, because the main reason anyone fakes an orgasm to begin with is because they don’t want to hurt their partner’s feelings.

Another reason men fake it is because they feel ashamed that they can’t finish. As the doctor says, guys sometimes “suffer a crisis of confidence about their masculinity.” If they can’t get to the finishing point, they may feel like there is something wrong with them, so they have to lie about it to seem more like a man. This is ridiculous. Obviously not everyone can orgasm during every single hookup and there’s nothing wrong with you if it happens!

So now I think the big question is… how exactly are men faking orgasms? Like I said before, when a guy orgasms, there’s evidence, so faking this seems like it’s pretty tricky. Unfortunately, researchers didn’t go into any of the ways dudes are getting around that little problem, but I’m assuming it’s not easy.

Have you ever witnessed a guy faking an orgasm? Have you ever faked an orgasm yourself? Would you be insulted if you found out your BF faked it? Tell us in the comments.


7 reasons you should never fake an orgasm

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  • Yapp

    I fake it sometimes, but not for mean reasons. Sometimes my wife wants to have sex and I don’t, but she doesn’t enjoy it fully unless she thinks I am enjoying it too, so I fake an orgasm. Regarding the messy part, things are already messy whether I finish or not, so that’s not an issue at all. Also, sometimes after a long session, I enjoyed it but am tired and didn’t finish, and if the moment has passed us by (ie. she finished a while ago and is just waiting for me), I’ll fake it. It doesn’t happen very often I guess and I really only do it to avoid questions on “what’s wrong”.

  • Me

    If there is no mess……he faked it!!!

  • Anonymous

    It just happened last night with my husband. I could obviously tell once I went to the restroom. I felt sad and I feel frustrated because I do not know how to approach him about it. I wish I could do something, I guess from now on I will not make the first move for sex…he has been stressed these past weeks and he is the type of guy to do everything for me…I think I’ll just let him chase me a bit…I just hope it doesn’t take long…I feel like I’m in my years of wanting it a lot!

    • Holly

      Thank you for posting. I’ve been searching the internet for this. Last night my fiance faked it. I, too, went into the restroom after and felt like a complete slug. I don’t know how to approach him. I don’t think I could handle him telling me that he isn’t attracted to me, anything along those lines, etc. I did ask him a little later that evening if he had ever told me he orgasmed but really didn’t. He replied “well, a long time ago I did.” This made me feel even worse. Not sure why he didn’t just tell me that he faked it last night, but now I am left to wonder how many times this has gone on…and I was clueless. Did anything come of your situation that you could provide some reason or help to handle?

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