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unthinkableloveex3 said:
“Hi. I’m 17 and I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 3 years and 9 months. We recently began having sex a couple of months ago, and it has been very difficult for me to get birth control for many reasons. I have asked my boyfriend to use condoms for now until I can get pills, but he absolutely refuses to and says that he “won’t feel anything” and that he “won’t spend money on condoms when they won’t be used.” I need some advice to convince him to use a condom because it has been a struggle for me. Please help?”
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Oh! So he’s willing to risk you getting pregnant just because he’s too lazy to put on condom? Or pay for them for that matter?? Well I’m sure paying child support each month will work out waaaaayy cheaper than paying for a pack of condoms!! I think you should tell if he feels that way then he should have no problem having no sex until you get the birth control because I’m sure you don’t want to be on the next episode of teen mom!
If I were you I’d say something like “WELL, I hope you’re patient ’cause until I get the pill, there won’t be anything going on under the covers.”
Seriously though, you should tell him how important it is for him to wear a condom. I don’t know if he had partners before you (although you’ve been together for a long time), but if yes, it’s non-negotiable EVEN if you’re on the pill later on. You might also want him to get tested.
If you’re both virgins, well if you get on the pill, it may statistically be “safe” but let’s say you get a yeast infection, he might get infected anyways. Plus, it’s an added protection against pregnancies because as you might already know, the pill isn’t always 100% effective. PS: it takes a whole 3 months before the pill starts working! Condoms for a supplementary 3 months! Don’t forget it!
My boyfriend had girlfriends before me and I was a virgin. It was obvious for me that he’d had to wear a condom. I got on the pill and we both still feel safer when he wears a condom; not for the STDs (we both got tested and we’re clear) but for pregnancies. If your boyfriend doesn’t want to wear a condom for “feeling” or “pleasure”, tell yourself that if he puts his penis’s pleasure before your sexual health (STDs, baby, vaginal infection, etc), he’s clearly not ready enough for sex.
If he really liked you, he’d use a condom.
Try to talk to him once again. Show him the scientific research that has been made about guys “not feeling anything” during sex. Remind him that condoms are the only way to be fully protected from STDs and a possible pregnancy. He should care about his own health and future and about yours. Sadly, if he’s still not willing to use one, I would dump him.
Cost of condoms: a few bucks. Cost of baby: infinite bucks.
I advise you to seriously reconsider your relationship with this boy. If he is willing to disregard your health for the purpose of creating more pleasure for himself than he is NOT worth your time. Any loving boyfriend would be more than happy to wear a condom if it would make his girlfriend happy and feel safe. Tell him that you will not put up with his childish and SELFISH behavior, if he loves you then he must wear a condom. I know that you’ve been with him for a long time but the truth is you could find someone so much better than this loser.
And don’t fall for his “but I won’t feel anything” bullshit. You deserve a man who wants to please you in bed and if it would please you for him to wear a condom he would.