If your sex life is lacking and you’re wondering how to have better sex, you came to the right place – I’m pretty sure we discovered the secret. Okay fine, we didn’t discover it, but we did read about it and show it to you guys, so that sort of counts, right?
Maybe you think better sex comes from a lot of passion, surprise and hooking up with someone who’s a really, really good kisser. That’s probably all true, but Glamour reported that a recent Durex survey of about 2,000 men and women found that, for the majority of people, the hottest sex happens when you’re with someone you trust. Aw, how sweet!
During the Durex survey, 87 percent of women reported that their best sex was with a partner who they trusted and had previously been in some sort of relationship with. If you’re thinking an emotional connection is only important to women when it comes to sex, you’d be wrong – 95 percent of men agreed that trust and some sort of emotional connection makes sex much better. Also worth noting? Both men and women said that they cared more about satisfying their partner than themselves.
The results of this survey totally make sense to me. When you’re getting down and dirty with someone, I think that it’s always better when you’re comfortable with that person. The magic happens when you feel truly comfortable enough to just be yourself. Think about it: when you’re feeling self-conscious, nervous or worried, you’re not going to have great sex. You’re going to be spending most of your time worrying about how you look naked, what your partner wants you to do, if they’re enjoying themselves.
When you’re with someone you trust and feel comfortable with, it’s easier for you to let go. It’s easier to forget about what your naked bod looks like and what kind of weird sounds you might be making. It’s also better because when you hook up with someone you trust, you’re probably not as nervous about telling them what you like or what you want – and vice versa. Another bonus? If you trust them in bed, you’ve most likely slept with them before, so the two of you probably know what each other likes.
Does that mean random hookups are always a bad idea? I don’t think so. Hooking up with someone you don’t know very well can be exciting, fun and also a great learning experience. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with hooking up with a random once in a while, someone you’ll probably never hook up with again. Maybe it won’t be the best sex of your life, but it could help teach you new things.
But as the Huffington Post points out, “This suggests that women – and men – are ultimately looking for more than a hookup with a stranger.” I think it’s pretty sweet to hear that such an overwhelming majority of people like sex best when there’s an emotional connection as well as a physical one. I feel like a lot of the time girls get caught up in the belief that sex doesn’t mean anything to dudes. But as this survey says, men believe sex is more satisfying with someone they can talk to and hang out with – not just someone they like looking at.
Do you think sex is better with someone you trust? Have you ever had a one-night stand? Do you care more about your partners pleasure than yours? Tell us in the comments!