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Ugh, major douchebag alert: Ray J is releasing a new single that is completely dedicated to dissing Kim Kardashian (in case you need a refresher, Kim dated Ray J back before she was the superstar she is today – he is the other star of her infamous sex tape). The song, called “I Hit It First” features lyrics that are just as subtle as the title and single cover, which is a blurred out picture of a naked Kimmy – so, not subtle at all. They include, “She might move on to rappers and ballplayers, but we all know I hit it first” and “I had her head going north and her a** going south, but now baby chose to go West.” GROSS.

This is obviously Ray J’s lame attempt to stay, sorry, I mean become, relevant. And honestly? It sucks. Kim is in what seems to be a stable relationship with Kanye West and is even pregnant with Kanye’s baby – using her like this for this horrible song is totally uncalled for.

Listen for yourself:

It’s also a situation I think a lot of us have found ourselves in at some point. Well, not on this scale (unless ya’ll are dating rappers), but still, we all know the type: the creepy, annoying ex-boyfriend who just refuses to move on and instead tries to ruin any of your future relationships. He constantly calls you or texts you, begs to get back together or even does really mean stuff like this as a way of getting your attention.

So how do you deal with your ex when he just won’t let you go? Trust me when I say that I have more than enough experience with this. It’s not that I’m so great that all my exes are obsessed with me (please), it’s that I dealt with one ex who just refused to move on for a very long time.

The three best tips I can give you? Check it out:

Make it clear that you’re not interested. By this I mean you may have to come out and say, “I am NEVER getting back together with you, please leave me alone.” I know that for some people, doing this to someone you once cared about can be very hard. I know that for me, it was super difficult to be mean to my ex and tell him to leave me alone. In fact, it took months before I was able to do that. I already felt bad enough for breaking his heart – now I had to tell him off when he was super vulnerable too?

But if your ex is calling, texting and messaging you constantly, you need to say something. Don’t try to be nice about it by answering and talking a little. If he’s bothering you, that’s not cool. He needs to stop and he probably won’t until you tell him to and make it clear that there is no chance you will get back together. You don’t need to scream “I HATE YOU, YOU LOSER,” you just need to be stern and say something like, “You need to stop calling me. We’re not getting back together. You’re bothering me and you need to stop.” Don’t say “maybe one day” or “I’m sorry” because quite honestly, this will just give him false hope. 

Ignore as much as possible. Once you’ve told him off, if he’s still doing inadvertant things to get your attention, ignore him. By this I mean he doesn’t deserve a response if he’s making depressing statuses on Facebook that are clearly about you or doing things he knows will piss you off (like flirting with your bestie). He’s trying to get your attention, whether it’s bad or good, and if you cave and say something, then his strategy has worked. Ignore, ignore, ignore (as it seems Kim as been doing with Ray J) and eventually he should stop. I mean, don’t ignore him if he’s stalking you or being extra creepy, but if he’s just trying to make you feel guilty, let him know it’s not going to work.

Don’t feel guilty about all of this. Like I said, I know it stinks to hurt someone you once shared some really intimate moments with. But, like I also said, you don’t deserve to have your ex bother you just because you no longer want to be with him. Breakups happen and he needs to learn to deal with it on his own.

Through all of this, keep in mind that one day, this dude will be over you and leave you alone. Until then, try these tips on how to deal with your ex and focusing on moving on yourself.

Have you ever dealt with an ex who just wouldn’t leave you alone? What did you do? How did you get him to go away? Tell us in the comments.

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