What Guys Want Us To Know About Sex

When it comes to sex, I’m sure you’d like to know exactly what guys want us ladies to know. I mean, we’re not mind-readers! How are we supposed to know exactly what dudes want or, more importantly, why they want it?! It’s impossible. Well, good news. If you’re wondering what guys want us to know about sex, someone else has already done the work for us.

Tracey Cox (who researches all things sex) recently took a poll to find out exactly what guys want us to know about sex and it’s pretty interesting. Also interesting? Tracey pointed out that we’re much more likely to be honest about sex stuff with the same sex. In other words, girls are more likely to tell their friends what they want and why they want it rather than their partner. That sounds ridiculous, but think about it: a lot of people are worried that being honest with their partner will hurt their feelings. You can be candid with your friends and not worry about whether or not it will insult them.

But even though it makes sense, it’s still not good. It’s really important to be open about sex with your partner, otherwise you’re probably never going to get exactly what you want. With that being said, let’s check out what dudes wish we knew. Here’s a list of a few things Tracey found that guys wish we knew:

1. “I use sex to express my love for you. Sometimes I find it difficult to express emotion and sex is a way of getting physically close to you.” Aw! This is cute and sweet. Girls who think guys only want to have sex to feel good – further proof that that’s not always true.

2. “When you reject sex with me, I feel like you’re rejecting me as a person. Please do it kindly.” I know some girls who reject guys in a really mean way like it’s no big deal. If you don’t want to have sex with a dude, that is totally fine, but be polite about it (unless he’s being a jerk). Put yourself in their shoes.

3. “My sexual system is simple. I know yours is different but I need you to tell and show me specifically what you want so I can understand your body properly.” We’ve said that a million times here on Gurl. You need to give guys a little bit of direction sometimes and there is nothing wrong with that! They like it. Seriously. It turns them on.

4.“Just because I want to try new things, doesn’t mean I don’t think you’re sexy. I just need and want variety.” Completely understandable. Doing the same exact thing in bed every other night can get pretty boring. Be willing to spice it up!

5. “I am a visual person. I like to look at sexy things. There’s nothing sinister about me looking at erotic photos, it’s just what men do.” I know a lot of you girls worry about porn and whatnot. But like we’ve stated before… it’s most likely nothing personal.

6. “Stop worrying about your body. I like you to look nice but I focus on the parts I love, not the bits you hate.” See?! Guys are thrilled that you’re naked. No reason to feel super self-conscious and want to cover up.

7. “When you act like you’re only have sex to please me, it makes me angry and disappointed. I want you to enjoy it as much as I do.” No guilt sex! If you’re not in the mood, don’t do it to make him happy, because it won’t.

All of these things are great to keep in mind whenever you’re having sex with anyone, whether it’s your long-time boyfriend or someone new. Now go forth and start communicating more so you can learn these things on your own!

What do you wish guys knew about sex? What other sex myths do you want cleared up? Do you talk openly with your partner about sex? Tell us in the comments! 

 

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  • rachel

    i dont mind my guy watching porn, i just dont want to walk in from working aall night long as a bartender, him asleep with porn on tablet. kinda makes me feel inadequate as his wife. tell me the truth, am i what u want or do u want something more. cause thats what comes to my mind when this happens. i deal with perverted drunks all night long. i definately dont want to come home to a sober pervert. i just want my husband to be satisfied with me. not someone one a tablet. heaven forbid if i come home horier then hell, which does happen, and i c this porn on his tablet while he is sleeping. moment killer right there. he aint getting this shit tonight!

  • Cat

    All I can say is, good luck finding a guy that doesn’t watch porn. That is, if you refuse to tolerate the porn watching.
    The only real problem I see with it is, if you don’t find a guy that doesn’t watch porn, then that means he’d have to hide it in order to stay with you. I think honesty is a better policy. Also, you should talk to him about these things because it’s something that effects you personally. It doesn’t matter what other people think or what the norm is if you still can’t accept it.

  • Tori

    I disagree with the porn issue… I would ask a man well would you like your girlfriend watching male porn? Most guys would say no.. I refuse to let my man watch it because its degrading women and can ruin relationships “true life im addicted to porn” Especially if he is masturbating to it I mean who wants to walk in to there man watching porn? If he knows that it bothers you and he wont stop watching it then he isn’t a MAN trust me not all men are like that and its not just what men do!

  • Larissa

    I agree with most of these, but porn HAS been proven to be psychologically harmful. I’ve seen it ruin a lot of relationships so my advice would be to not have much tolerance for it– your emotional/mental health is more important than his ‘like to look at sexy things’!