What’s The Difference Between Being Comfortable With Your Boyfriend And Just Plain Gross?

There is a fine line between feeling comfortable enough with someone to be yourself all the time and being comfortable enough with someone to just go full-on TMI, especially when you’re in a relationship. By that I mean there’s some stuff you do that doesn’t need to be shared with anyone else, no matter how close you guys are – but maybe that’s just my opinion.

What exactly am I talking about? A new study shows that British women are most likely to start feeling 100 percent comfortable with their boyfriends after about 7 and 1/2 months of being in a relationship. After this time, they feel comfortable enough to do stuff in front of their BF like burp, go to the bathroom and wear no makeup. Which brings me to my question: what’s the difference between being comfortable with your boyfriend and just being plain gross?

This also brings to mind other research I recently wrote about, which went into detail about how much info you should be sharing with your boyfriend. That research says that sometimes lying to your boyfriend about certain stuff can only help your relationship instead of harming it – and when it comes to stuff like this, I have to agree.

But back to this first study I was talking about. According to this particular study, originally done by British website MyCelebrityFashion.com, here are the things women feel comfortable doing in front of their boyfriend after 7 and 1/2 months of dating:

1. Act more like myself
2. Fart and/or burp
3. Go to the bathroom in front of them
4.Wear no makeup
5. Wear “scruffy” clothes (or, in other words, dress like a bum)
6. Dye moustache (???) 
7. Pick spots (cute British slang for acne)
8. Wear unsexy/unmatching underwear
9. Act poorly (???) 
10. Pluck eyebrows

woman shaving

“Oh, hey babe, just shaving my face!” | Source: ShutterStock

Okay, I totally get this study. As I have written about before, it took me a long time to feel comfortable enough with my own boyfriend to be able to sleep at his house without waking up at 6 AM to brush my teeth (don’t judge me, okay?). When you’re dating someone, it can take a while to feel comfy enough in the relationship to be able to show him stuff you normally keep quiet about. After all, when you first meet someone, you’re trying to make a good impression – and that typically doesn’t include farting and pooping (or maybe for you it does, I don’t know).

But here’s the thing: I still think there is a fine line between being comfortable and yourself and just being gross. I’ve been dating my boyfriend for two years and, personally, I would never in a million years go to the bathroom in front of him (some things are private, thank you very much). I would also never, ever fart or pop my pimples in front of him. And if I had a moustache, I wouldn’t dye it in front of him. I just wouldn’t! It’s not about insecurity and it’s not about being afraid he’ll leave me – I just don’t feel the need to share every detail of my life with him.

I think it’s great to get to that point in a relationship where you feel good enough about everything to totally be yourself. I think that’s amazing! But still, I think there are some things that should just be kept private. I mean, I’ll burp in front of my BF, I’ll walk around with no makeup on, I’ll show up at his house in sweats (already do that), I’ll act poorly (whatever that even means). I do admit to wearing cute underwear in front of him, because I don’t know, it’s fun. But that’s just me.

I just think there are some things that are TMI and don’t need to be shared with your boyfriend. I mean, do you really need to go to the bathroom in front of him? I think that’s going a little over the top.

But what do you think? Is it okay to go to the bathroom and be gross in front of your boyfriend? Or should you keep some things private? Tell me in the comments.


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  • Alexa

    My boyfriend and I do everything in front of each other. I guess everyone has their own comfort level. Nothing seems gross to us, I guess because we have no boundaries. It would be weird if one of us closed the door when going to the bathroom. I know girls say that they want to keep the mystery alive..but I’m not sure what they mean by mystery. If you can’t be totally comfortable in front of this person for fearing of “keeping the mystery alive”, I personally wouldn’t want to be in that relationship.

  • rashmi

    i totally agree with writer……..
    you love some one tht not mean do anything he demands…..
    you also have self respect and self comfort…. and your partner need to understand this thing…. and if still insists then you need to rethink about ur relation… is he really guy u searching for and will u able to live ur whole life with him?????

  • hotjamale

    I think this is completely ridiculous, personally. If you live with a person, share a room and have sex with them, they basically see it all. And I think thats a great thing. My boyfriend is somewhat obsessed with popping pimples haha so if I have one, he loves when I let him get it. And if I get it and tell him about it, he gets pouty. it’s quite funny. He farts in front of me all the time and I dont in front of him because it would embarass me, not because he would care. Because I know he wouldnt. I pluck my eyebrows in front of him, he helps me wax my armpits, he’s seen me put in a tampon before, and he will poo in front of me. It just really doesnt matter.

  • Anna592

    I personally don’t think farting infront your BF is gross..I mean why would you wanna hold back on something like JUST to impress him…even after 2 it years? REALLY.? I mean if he really loves you for you then why would/should farting change that…doesn’t he do it too,isn’t it natural..as far as everything else goes..I see no harm in sharing everything with your BF…ie if you are really serious about each other, if not .. Do not do any of the above. Esp FARTING !

  • Natasha

    I agree with you Jessica on this article. I have never had a boyfriend, never been in a deep relationship like that. However, even around my blood-related sisters and motber, I cannot and will not fart, go to the bathroom, shave body areas, or even brush and floss my teeth (especially flossing). It’d be great to be intelectually relaxed and at-ease with someone–but to have a building with no walls is too weird and uncomfortable to me.

  • Tayy

    My boyfriend and I are really close. We had been bestfriends for a year before we started dating.(We’ve been dating for a year now) After we had sex, we started doing a lot of things together even more then before. Act more like yourself is obvious and understandable. Farting and/or burping is a bit much. I would NEVER fart in front of BF one time I did by accident and I turned bright red but he didn’t care at all, it was a personal thing. Going to the bathroom in front of them is no biggie for us(unless you’re like not peeing but the other one), we have sex we’ve seen the goods already.Wearing no makeup is N/A for me as the most makeup I wear is eyeliner, and my BF HATES makeup even the little I wear. Wear “scruffy” clothes (or, in other words, dress like a bum) idk wtf that means but I walk around in a tank top & his oversized basketball shorts at his house in front of his family and they think its cute and he doesn’t mind at all. At my house I wear w,e I normally wear(his shirt and booty shorts). Dye moustache (???) N/A. Pick spots (cute British slang for acne) he tries to pop my pimples jokingly so he wouldn’t care. Wear unsexy/unmatching underwear, my bf gets regular sex he doesn’t care about the undies I wear. Act poorly (???), Im reserved by nature so N/A. Pluck eyebrows N/A I don’t do that anyways.


  • turtleshelll

    Do you live with him? If so it would be pretty hard not to fart in front of him, or to hide the fact that your plucking your eyebrows or dying a mustache (some girls do this, my stepmother is a beautiful woman but also half Armenian, sometimes she walks around the house with white goop over her upper lip). I think all of this stuff is pretty natural and a part of the whole intimacy process. When people engage in oral sex they have to have certain tolerance for things we’d normally deem icky, I mean each person is literally letting their partners bodily fluid in to their mouths. I’ve been with my boyfriend for about a year and four months and we don’t go out of our way to fart in front of each other, but sometimes it just happens, and neither of us really mind because it’s a part of being human. My boyfriend sometimes has stomach issues and I can easily tell that means diarrhea, we neither ignore it nor do we make a big deal about. I have a lot to say about this topic so for a continuation just click here: http://thedeafeningdwarf.wordpress.com/2013/04/04/eww-stop-being-so-gross/

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