There is a fine line between feeling comfortable enough with someone to be yourself all the time and being comfortable enough with someone to just go full-on TMI, especially when you’re in a relationship. By that I mean there’s some stuff you do that doesn’t need to be shared with anyone else, no matter how close you guys are – but maybe that’s just my opinion.
What exactly am I talking about? A new study shows that British women are most likely to start feeling 100 percent comfortable with their boyfriends after about 7 and 1/2 months of being in a relationship. After this time, they feel comfortable enough to do stuff in front of their BF like burp, go to the bathroom and wear no makeup. Which brings me to my question: what’s the difference between being comfortable with your boyfriend and just being plain gross?
This also brings to mind other research I recently wrote about, which went into detail about how much info you should be sharing with your boyfriend. That research says that sometimes lying to your boyfriend about certain stuff can only help your relationship instead of harming it – and when it comes to stuff like this, I have to agree.
But back to this first study I was talking about. According to this particular study, originally done by British website MyCelebrityFashion.com, here are the things women feel comfortable doing in front of their boyfriend after 7 and 1/2 months of dating:
1. Act more like myself
2. Fart and/or burp
3. Go to the bathroom in front of them
4.Wear no makeup
5. Wear “scruffy” clothes (or, in other words, dress like a bum)
6. Dye moustache (???)
7. Pick spots (cute British slang for acne)
8. Wear unsexy/unmatching underwear
9. Act poorly (???)
10. Pluck eyebrows
Okay, I totally get this study. As I have written about before, it took me a long time to feel comfortable enough with my own boyfriend to be able to sleep at his house without waking up at 6 AM to brush my teeth (don’t judge me, okay?). When you’re dating someone, it can take a while to feel comfy enough in the relationship to be able to show him stuff you normally keep quiet about. After all, when you first meet someone, you’re trying to make a good impression – and that typically doesn’t include farting and pooping (or maybe for you it does, I don’t know).
But here’s the thing: I still think there is a fine line between being comfortable and yourself and just being gross. I’ve been dating my boyfriend for two years and, personally, I would never in a million years go to the bathroom in front of him (some things are private, thank you very much). I would also never, ever fart or pop my pimples in front of him. And if I had a moustache, I wouldn’t dye it in front of him. I just wouldn’t! It’s not about insecurity and it’s not about being afraid he’ll leave me – I just don’t feel the need to share every detail of my life with him.
I think it’s great to get to that point in a relationship where you feel good enough about everything to totally be yourself. I think that’s amazing! But still, I think there are some things that should just be kept private. I mean, I’ll burp in front of my BF, I’ll walk around with no makeup on, I’ll show up at his house in sweats (already do that), I’ll act poorly (whatever that even means). I do admit to wearing cute underwear in front of him, because I don’t know, it’s fun. But that’s just me.
I just think there are some things that are TMI and don’t need to be shared with your boyfriend. I mean, do you really need to go to the bathroom in front of him? I think that’s going a little over the top.
But what do you think? Is it okay to go to the bathroom and be gross in front of your boyfriend? Or should you keep some things private? Tell me in the comments.