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Everyone’s first breakup is going to be a little bit different. It could be the end of a long-term relationship or the guy you’ve been seeing ends your casual fling or you’ve made the decision to break up with him. What they all do have in common is that they usually aren’t easy or fun no matter who is doing the breaking up.
If you haven’t been through a breakup yet, it can be hard to know what to expect. While not everyone will have the same experience, women shared what they learned from their first breakups to give you a little bit of guidance. Here are ten things women wish they knew before their first breakup.
Break Up In Person
It may feel awkward in the moment, but in retrospect, this is the best way to break up with someone. It shows respect for the person that you will talk with them face to face about what's going on. A text message break up or one through a friend may seem more convenient, but it's not the mature thing to do. If you are on the other side of a break up, it may be hard to see this as "better" in the moment, but over time you'll see it was better to get a clear breakup rather than one through the grapevine. Source: Shutterstock.comYou Can Stay Friends...
Yes, it is possible to stay friends with an ex! It may not be the same as it was before you started dating, but just because you two didn't work out as a couple, don't feel like now you have to abandon this person altogether. If staying friends is something you're both on board with, know that it is a possibility. Source: Shutterstock.com...But It's Okay If You Don't
You're under no obligation to stay friends with someone after a breakup. You need to do what's best for you, and if not maintaining a friend relationship with them is what you need, you have every right to do it. Try to be civil with them, but it doesn't mean you need to try to be friends against your better judgment. Source: Shutterstock.comYou Might Lose Friends
So you may not stay friends with the guy, but there also is a chance you may lose some mutual friends in the wake up a breakup. It's not fun at all, but it's important to brace yourself for that fact ahead of time. Try not to add more to your emotional plate by getting into intense friend drama and picking sides. Just try to accept what ends up happening and those who are your true friends will still be there for you. Source: Shutterstock.comYou Don't Need To Date Again Right Away
When you stop dating someone, it can feel like now you are without a social schedule anymore or your friends might want to set you up. Especially if a lot of your friends are still paired up, it can be tough to let yourself enjoy your single time. You might find someone not long after a breakup and that's okay too, but make sure you don't just jump into a new relationship before you've recovered from your breakup. It's not fair to you, or this new person. Source: Shutterstock.comYou Can Take Some Alone Time...
People can ask a lot of questions after a breakup, so taking a little time to process what just happened is okay. Nobody knows you better than you know yourself, so do those things that you know will cheer you up, whether it be watching your favorite movies or distracting yourself with a book. You don't need to go out there right away and pretend you are 100% fine if you're not feeling it. That'll end up just exhausting you more and making the breakup harder to overcome in the long run. Source: Shutterstock.com... But Also Get Some Support
You're allowed your alone time, but try not to totally cut yourself off from everything in the world. Your friends will want to help you through this and they can provide advice, support and just help keep you busy. By not constantly isolating yourself, it'll help keep your mind off the breakup and remind you of all the other great people you still have in your life. Source: Shutterstock.comHe's Going To Move On
No matter whose idea the breakup was, it can be tough to see someone new "replace" the position you used to hold in your ex's life. Just be prepared that you may experience those emotions, no matter how long after the fact it is or where you are at now with your own relationships. Source: Shutterstock.comDon't Play The Blame Game
Once the breakup has happened, it has happened. It will use up a lot of your energy to keep playing the blame game. Don't take the blame for every thing that went wrong in your relationship, but also don't dump all the blame on your ex if it isn't warranted. Blaming one person - whether yourself or your ex - can cloud your ability to analyze your relationship in order to learn from what happened so that your next relationship can be more positive. Source: Shutterstock.comIt Is Necessary
Very few relationships are going to last forever, and since that's the case, there is that likelihood your relationship could end with a breakup. But try not to see that as a negative! Of course make the most of your time together without constantly thinking about an impending breakup, but if something isn't working anymore for both of you, it's not fair to stay together just to avoid breaking up. A breakup is tough, but it's also a chance to find something even better and you never know - maybe that could be the one that will last for the long term. Source: Shutterstock.comWhat did you learn from your first breakup? Do you have any advice for girls going through their first breakup? Tell us in the comments!
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