Is It Cool Or Annoying When Your Boyfriend Defends You?

when your boyfriend defends you

Source: Ian Wilson/

Honestly, the news I read about Ryan Gosling this week kind of broke my heart a little bit – not because it was anything bad, but because it made me extra sad that he’s not my boyfriend. According to Page Six, Ryan recently got into a little bit of a fight with a photographer so that he could defend his girlfriend, Eva Mendes. 

Here’s what went down: Ryan and Eva were walking into their hotel in New York City when a fashion photographer spotted Eva (he had recently worked with her on a shoot) and called out, “Hey, baby!” Ryan went into his superhero mode that we’ve all become pretty used to and, according to an eyewitness, “completely flipped out, and it got heated. Ryan got in the guy’s face and said, ‘Who are you calling baby?’ Eva had to jump in and calm everyone down before it came to fisticuffs. Ryan than made nice and shook the guy’s hand.”

Not only did this make me cry a little bit (because why, WHY, are we not dating?), but it also made me think about something: are you cool with it when your boyfriend defends you? Or would you be cool with it if it happened?

Your first reaction might be, “yeah, duh.” After all, why wouldn’t you want your boyfriend to defend your honor? It seems sweet and protective and like such a boyfriend-ly thing to do, right? Well, as someone whose boyfriend recently defended her in front of some creepy rando, I can tell you that it’s not all that it’s cracked up to be. In fact, it’s kind of embarrassing (unless Ryan Gosling is doing it. Then it’s fine).

Want to hear my story? Okay, cool. My boyfriend and I were shopping when an older guy walked by us. I didn’t notice this happening, because I was on my phone, but according to my BF, when the guy walked past, he turned around to stare me up and down. Ew. My boyfriend yelled, really loudly, “Like what you see? Get your eyes off my girlfriend *word I can’t write on Gurl*.” My face turned bright red and I snapped at him, “What are you doing?!” then ran into the nearest store to hide.

Here’s the thing: when your boyfriend defends you, it’s sort of sweet (to me, at least). It’s nice to know that he doesn’t want anyone disrespecting you or treating you in a way that you shouldn’t be treated. Sometimes it’s nice to feel like someone is protecting you. When my BF stands up for me in a way that isn’t combative, I love it. I would do the same for him!

But at the same time, being defended in a public way, like Eva and I were, is also kind of really embarrassing. Sometimes your BF ends up just blowing up the situation and making things awkward for everyone. The other thing is that it can make your boyfriend seem sort of possessive, which isn’t always the way you want people to see your BF. If he defends you in an angry way, it’s embarrassing and sometimes uncalled for.

I think it’s fine for your boyfriend to defend you sometimes. But I don’t think it’s fine for him to treat you like you’re his property and no one else can look at you or talk to you. That’s not cool.

But what do you think? Is it sweet or embarrassing when your boyfriend defends you? Has a guy ever defended you the way Ryan did with Eva? Tell me in the comments!


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  • Maya

    You’re lucky sweetie…my boyfriend is loving and affectionate but would probably pee his pants and run away if he ever had to defend me.

  • Jane

    my ex best friend used to interrupt me a lot and often treat me as if i was worth absolutely nothing to him, which annoyed me a bit but i never stood up for myself and i let him walk all over me. then my bf started spending time with us together and he would always defend me. it was really sweet of him, but it made me really embarassed becuase shouldn’t i be able to stand up for myself?

  • Perfection-NOT

    Whats even more embarassing is to have your boyfriend just stand there and watch. Sometimes, some situations call for a hero. Trust me I know. One time this b with an itch was yelling in my face and my friends and bf were just watching. They didn’t do anything to defend me so I ran out crying!

  • Emm

    i sort of agree with this. It would be kind of embarrassing to have my boyfriend defend me in public but i would be cool with it for the most part. Because most of my best friends would do the same thing because we are that close. I would do the same thing for my befriend or any of my friends because that’s the nice thing to do when you care about people that much.

  • Jillian

    I agree that a BF being protective his GF is sweet, but unless a guy verbally assaults or physically threatens the girl, there is no reason for the boyfriend to have an outburst, especially if they are in a public place. Besides, it will be the BF that gets in trouble, not the other dude.