Big changes afoot, girls! Since I’m coupled up (aka boring), I’ve decided to focus on giving you darlings love advice rather than prattling on about my own (boring) love life! If you didn’t know, I post romance advice vids to my YouTube page so I thought hey, why not share it with my favorite girls?! But beware–I don’t sugarcoat things. We all have friends who just tell you what you want to hear–I’m not that friend. I’m the one who’s going to be honest and help you make the best decisions possible. It may not always be pretty, but it WILL be the truth!
One of my best friends likes this guy and I think I like him too. Even though she liked him first, I can’t just help it. What should I do? I haven’t told ANYONE that I like him because I don’t want her to find out and get mad. Help?
Dear Extremely Confused Ellen,
If God had created a 10 Friendship Commandments, number one would’ve been Thou Shalt Not Covet Thy BFF’s Crush. It’s right up there with Honor Thy Pinkie Swears. But falling for the same dude is kind of inevitable – we’re so similar to our friends and therefore we’d probably go for the same guys, right?
So the strategy here is to ask yourself a very simple question: which person do you picture being in your life the longest? Your best friend or your crush?
Hey, guess what: YOUR FRIEND. I am still very close with my BFFs from elementary school, high school and college. But I can barely even remember the last names of the boys I like. Besides, think about all the drama if you end up fighting with her. School will become a living hell and um, it’s not even a guarantee that the guy likes you back! What if you stir the pot with your BFF only to discover that – ta da! – he doesn’t like either one of you. Uck. Terrible.
Choosing a friend over a guy is like choosing a salad over a cupcake. In the moment you reeeeeaaaally want to make one decision, but in the long run you will be SO thankful you didn’t. But.. is it really the boy you’re after? In high school I always had crushes on my BFF’s guys because, weirdly, I wanted her life. She was so pretty and confident and smart, I think I subconsciously thought that getting the guy would get me all of her attributes. SHOCKER: it doesn’t work that way.
So basically: don’t tell your friend and forget about this crush. Boys come along constantly (trust me they do) but BFFs are hard to find!