Learning how to trust someone can be hard – but learning how to trust a cheater? That is way more difficult.
Maybe you just discovered that your boyfriend is a cheater – either he cheated on you, or you found out that he has cheated in the past. If he cheated, it’s okay to agree to give him a second chance if you want. But once you decide to do that, you need to learn how to trust him again and that’s where things can get tricky.
So how do you trust your boyfriend after he cheats? It will take some time and effort, but if you think he’s worth it, then maybe you should go for it. Here are some tips to help you guys build your relationship back up to where it once was.
Make Him Work For ItYour guy messed up and if he really and truly wants your trust back, he's going to have to prove himself worthy. While you two are rebuilding your trust, he needs to be open to you about everything: where he's going, what he's doing, who he's hanging out with. He should also be trying really hard to make you happy right now. I'm not saying he needs to buy you dozens of roses every single week, but he should be making time for you and being open with you. Making him work for your trust might sound harsh, but it's not. If he's wants to get back in your good graces for real, he'll know he needs to work hard to prove that he can still be a good guy to you. And if there are things you want him to change - like not answering your texts - now's the time to tell him. Source: ShutterStock
Forgive HimYes, your guy has to work to get your trust back, but in order to ever trust him again, you need to learn to forgive him for what he did. If you want to hold a grudge against him forever for this, that's fine, but then you two need to break up. In order to make things right between you guys, you need to eventually accept his apologies and start forgiving him for how he hurt you. It's hard but necessary. If you can't forgive him - then there's no point in trying to make your relationship work because that resentment will always be there. Take your time with this. Source: ShutterStock
Talk To Him About Stuff... A LotYou two need to start being really open with each other - good communication is really important when trying to build trust. Make sure you tell your guy how you feel about everything. If you're angry, tell him why. If you're miserable, tell him. You get it... let him know how you're feeling and what you're thinking. And he should be talking to you about stuff also. Every conversation doesn't have to be an emotional life talk, but you two should know how you're both feeling. Source: ShutterStock
Listen To YourselfWhen your friends and family hear that he cheated, I can almost guarantee that most of them aren't going to advise you to take him back or ever trust him again. Advice from friends is great, but there are some times when you need to listen to yourself and trust your own gut. Do you think he's worth a second chance? Then give him one, no matter how much your BFF hates him. You know this dude better than them (probably) and this is your decision to make, so don't let everyone else influence you as you're trying to trust him. Source: ShutterStock
Don't Be Too ParanoidIt can take a long time to build trust. In the meantime, keep your stalking and checking up to a minimum. You can totally keep a close eye on your boyfriend, but don't go crazy. Sometimes people think that sneaking a look at cell phones or hacking into Facebook accounts will make them feel better, but trust me, it won't. Sneaking around too much is actually only going to make you feel paranoid - also stressed out. Communicate with him instead of sneaking peeks at his texts. Source: ShutterStock
Be Confident In YourselfI know that cheating can lower your self-esteem - that's completely normal. However, you need to build that confidence back up. If you think you're a loser, he might start to think that as well. You need to be confident in yourself in order to be able to trust him. You know what I mean? Source: ShutterStock
Don't Forget About It Completely...Trusting your BF doesn't mean completely, 100 percent forgetting about his infidelity. You should keep your guard up a little bit until you're absolutely sure that he's changed his ways. Don't obsess over it, but keep it in the back of your mind. I know that sounds contradictory, but you can forgive him while still remembering what he did. Source: ShutterStock
...But Learn To Let It GoJust like you need to forgive him in order for the relationship to continue, you need to eventually learn to let go of the whole situation in order for your relationship to advance to any other level. This will take time - don't force it to happen. You just can't hold this against him forever, because eventually, he's going to get sick of trying to prove himself - and I'm sure you would do the same. Source: ShutterStock
Have you ever taken back a cheater? How did it go? Did you find these tips helpful? Tell us in the comments.