8 Tips On How To Trust Your Boyfriend If He Cheated

Learning how to trust someone can be hard – but learning how to trust a cheater? That is way more difficult.

Maybe you just discovered that your boyfriend is a cheater – either he cheated on you, or you found out that he has cheated in the past. If he cheated, it’s okay to agree to give him a second chance if you want. But once you decide to do that, you need to learn how to trust him again and that’s where things can get tricky.

So how do you trust your boyfriend after he cheats? It will take some time and effort, but if you think he’s worth it, then maybe you should go for it. Here are some tips to help you guys build your relationship back up to where it once was.

Have you ever taken back a cheater? How did it go? Did you find these tips helpful? Tell us in the comments.

 

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18 Comments

  1. avatarbleuautumnx says:

    My boyfriend cheated on me over a month ago. He worked in a pub which he decided to quit after the incident. He claims he only remembers the girls first name, who he had seen in his work place on 3 separate occasions. The week it happened I had a strong off feeling in my gut. He hadn’t spoken to me for 3 days and when I eventually called him after his shift after not getting replies to my messages he was being off being overly affectionate and he asked me a few odd hypothetical questions. He said he had something to say to me when I next saw him, I pushed him into telling me thinking he was going to say something more along the affectionate lines and then he told me he’d cheated on me. I have never cried that quickly and I prayed to God he was just pulling my leg and he’d turn around and go “I was just kidding I wanted to see if you’d care” and he didn’t. What hurt the most was that I’d given everything to him. I thought we were doing okay and this time round things would work out for us. We’d dated in our teens and so much happened and blew in our faces to the point where I was shipped off to Zimbabwe ( I’m in the UK) for a full year by my mother without so much as a warning or a chance to say goodbye. He said he’d wait but he didn’t. I did. And when I got back he wanted nothing to do with me at all. He refused to see me. But I never gave up on him and so I waited until I got tired of meaningless flings and I met someone who was more than good to me and we dated for two years but things got complicated when my now current boyfriend befriended me and the first time we met the air around us was electric and I literally could feel every single part of him, and I always have. I just figured since I was with someone I wouldn’t feel it any more unless there was something there. I fought with myself for months because whenever we were together the tension was too much and so was the chemistry. He eventually told me he was still in love with me and stuck around until he realised I wouldn’t budge and so he left again. After a few months I realised how badly he affected me and my boyfriend at the time knew it too. So we ended things and after a while I started trying to reach my boyfriend again. This time I swore it would be different because we were much older a lot wiser and he’d changed. And so we saw each other for a while before we made things official. I’d never felt so happy in my life to know that after five years of waiting for him to come through he finally did. So you can only imagine after all this time and severe depression and generally the pain and hardship of it all, having him finally then him doing this to me what I felt. He claims he was drunk and this girl gave him a sob story and they were all over each other before they went into his work toilets and basically screwed each other. Whilst I was at home worrying about him to the point of anxiety I hadn’t felt in a while this was happening. He claims he felt guilty throughout and was thinking about me but what exactly does that prove? That the thought of me, the premeditation of what doing that would do to me wasn’t enough to get him to stop. We’ve all been pissed before but even I can recall things like that. Whenever men have surrounded me in those cases I’ve always pulled away and said no because I’d think of him and text him to tell him he’s on my mind. He still refuses to tell me the full name of this girl he slept with who was apparently aware I existed. I need to confront her because she aided in breaking something that meant more than the world to me and took it all away. You can’t go around sleeping with people who are taken, there are plenty of single men around why mine? Sometimes I can’t bring myself to look at him because I see him for all he is. I feel like I was overcompensating for him where he wasn’t doing enough, making excuses for him. He still takes me for granted and I don’t even know where to begin with him.

  2. avatarJess says:

    I have been with my boyfriend nine months. we are in a 200miles apart long distance relationship. I visited him for two weeka and on my last day yesterday i found out he had slept with a girl from his works! She has always liked him and everyone knows that. She had a house party back in January and he was invited a long with other works mates. Myself and him had an argument earlier that day and apparently that night he got hammered and slept with her. He says he regrets it so much and it was a mistake. He finds the girl so revolting!! He said he has to make it up to me and he understands he has to gain my trust, he loves me and only me, only contract with her is through work and facebook he deleted her off everything else, he said he realised how much he needs me. And the reason he didnt tell me was because he realises how hard i find our relationship as it is and he didnt want to hurt me. He has apologised loads…. ive said i will forgive him am i wrong for doing so? Will the pain and crying stop eventually??

  3. avatarnono says:

    my boyfriend and i have a 4years old daughter. we have been together for 5years now, and his been cheating me each and every year we’ve been together. i found him at his house many times with the girl, he told me he dosent love that girl its just all about sex. he always come to me and barg me to come back to him. he says he love me and he wasnt to spend the rest of his life with me and because i love him too i always fall for it. but will continue to do the same thing (cheating) again. so i wnant to know if he is the guy for me, how can i trust him again

  4. avatarkatiana says:

    This is kinda complicated cause my fiance now was once just a guy i was messing around with and he always lied to me saying im the only 1 hes messing around with too and i believed him cause i waa always straight up n honest with him n i made it clear that i expected the same from him…anyway 1 nite i found a used condom beside his bed n i was aching inside but i sat him down calmly and told him if u tell me the truth i can forgive u cause we have nothing serious just yet u r not mine…so he admitted n was sorry…we continued messing around…i secretly put bb protect on his phone to tract him if hes changed…after 1 month gps shows he was at a hotel…i showed up he came out to me…lied n said shes a colleague from work n he was visiting…i ended it cause i knew he was lieing…after a few days without me he called begging that he wants me n needs me n he fell inlove with me n his life is empty without me…i felt the same afterall my son knew him also n was asking where he was…i finally decided to forgive him and we began a full blown relationship…no sneaking…friends n family knew and we got engaged…a few montha now into the relationahip and hes still on gps which he nos about n gave me the permission to cause he has nothing to hide he says….but still im not able to trust him…he goes to work n back home and still im obsessed with nagging him n hes getting tired of me…i mean common i have him on gps and still i feel 1 day hes gonna slip…can it be hes changed or am i feeling like this cause of what he did n i havent realy forgiven him…what yall think and what should i do to stop feeling like this…i mite loose him

  5. avatarJeanne says:

    Hi. My boyfriend for almost two years cheated on me last week. We got into an argument & he went out with his friends to drink & it turns out he drank to much. He confessed to me everything that he did & he was hysterical crying saying how sorry he was & how it was a huge mistake & that he feels like an a**hole. Now I believe in mistakes & I love him with all of my heart. I forgave him because I am a very forgiving person even though he has cheated in the past. The problem is that my parents now are refusing to accept him for my sake. I know that they’re trying to protect me but I feel like it should be my choice & if it’s wrong then I’ll learn for myself. It’s heartbreaking that my parents won’t give me any chance to explain or let me be with who I want to be. Me & him are so hurt over the whole situation & I just wanted to know what I should do to get my family to let me do what I want to do with my own love life & accept what I choose </3 please respond with some advice for me. I hate feeling like this.

  6. avatarAli says:

    My boyfriend cheated on me , he says it never got physical so in his mind that’s not cheating. this is making it super hard to forgive him. I feel broken and lost I don’t know if I can ever trust him and its killing me.

    • avatarFlorence says:

      If he doesn’t think it was cheating, aka he isn’t sorry, you need to leave him. You’re not going to heal when he ignores probably the worst thing that has ever happened to you.
      (For the record, women on average are more heartbroken when a guy becomes emotionally attached to the other girl but doesn’t get physical, than when a guy cheats and has sex but didn’t care at all about the other girl. Both are still cheating.)

  7. avatarAl says:

    My boyfriend and I have moved past this horrible train wreck and are on a great path.. I still have anxiety about it, but for the most part were happy. I’m struggling, though, to forgive his friends. We were in long distance at the time and his friends were very encouraging to live the single life. So how do I forgive them.. It means a lot to my boyfriend that his girlfriend like his friends. What’s the coping method on that?

    • avatarFlorence says:

      It’s not your job to forgive them if they aren’t apologetic, just like it wouldn’t be your job to forgive your boyfriend if he wasn’t sorry for cheating. His friends should have to work for it, and your boyfriend should be talking to them about changing in order to get you to like them if it means so much to him.

  8. avatarNthaby mosola says:

    M havin a long distance relationship wit my man nd he cheated on me twice then itold him its over but he doesnt seem to care should imove on without him?

    • avatarWinterose says:

      Eish!thats hurting ma csta u cant ride a standing train is he seems like he doeznt care dont stress tomuch.There alots of guys out there who can die to have you.move on

  9. avatarKc says:

    My bf cheated on me for 10 months n am still tryin to move forward jn the trust department

  10. avatarMiranda says:

    Im happy to have found this.
    I’m 28 years old, and we have a 15 month old son
    He ha been sending naked pictures an flirting with
    A girl from work. When I had confronting him after
    Finding the photos, he exclaimed it had not become
    Physical.
    So I ad asked her…
    He lied, however, her honesty is what made me
    Think I should try again.
    I’m not sure how to trust him again. But I will try
    If he would have just been honest, it would have
    Been a lot easier to handle.
    I am however a super forgiving person, I don’t
    Want a broken family.
    So I will take this advice, discuss it with him,
    And see where it takes us…
    Thank you for providing this for woman like me,
    Who have no one to ask
    Or are unsure.
    Wish me luck I suppose

    • avatarTired says:

      You should try to stay for your child but understand when a man knows that he will continue to cheat. Just be prepared to be a single mom one day because most men don’t change. Its either stay and know you will deal with other women from time to time try to snoop constantly so you can catch it early where you know its no feelings involved or just move on now and save time and pain because it won’t stop.

  11. avatarNthabiseng says:

    I am tryn 2 trust my boyfriend again bt hey!!!its hard i dnt wanna lie,he’s been chating 4 mny times i dnt thnk i wl b able 2 trust him and also m jst thnkin 2 end this whole thng

  12. avatarBianca Hlatshwayo says:

    Well here it goes……..yeah I accepted him……It all started when I went to Cape Town for a visit,he was acting all weird,he just changed like waaaa!!!!!that really freaked me out hey….I told him that his been acting weird and I knw there’s somethng he’s not telling me…..you dont wanna knw wat he said,,,,,he said yeah I cheated on u and I’m sorry,everythng just went blank and I just ddn’t knw wat to do.I dumped him,bt I appreciated da fact that he was honest bt they say ”’once a cheater always a cheater”…..It was now hard 2gve him my trust bt all ths was worth it,he’s now open.

  13. avatarsapna says:

    I do not trust my boyfriend bcz he told me that I can’t be with u for a lifetime

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