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During college, my boyfriend and I were in a long-distance relationship on a few different occasions, from summer vacations to our study abroad. Now my boyfriend and I live in the same city, but sometimes it feels like we’re still in a long-distance relationship since we only see each other for a little while on the weekend. That may sound like a bad thing, but to be honest, there’s a lot I like about distance in a relationship.
Let me say, I still agree with all the things that make long-distance relationships tough. Do I wish we saw each other more during the week? Totally. But I’ve found that thinking about the things that I really do like about the distance in our relationship has made it more bearable. Here are seven things that I feel are benefits of long-distance relationships:
You Don't Abandon Your Friends
Now certainly not everyone is guilty of this, but a lot of times when you start dating someone, it's easy to let other friends take a backseat. With my long-distance relationship, that was never the case. If anything it made my friendships stronger because I was looking for support for dealing with the tough parts of my BF being gone. In the end though, I love that a long-distance relationship never made me choose between my BF and friends. Source: Shutterstock.comYou Have Different Experiences
I never feel held back because my boyfriend didn't want to do something because he wasn't around. Don't get me wrong, compromise is important in relationships, but it's also nice to not have to always weigh another person's preferences in. If I wanted to go on a day trip with my BFF, I didn't have to feel guilty for abandoning him. Plus, knowing we're not both going to do the same thing every day gives us something exciting to talk about! Source: Shutterstock.comYou Value Conversation
Speaking of exciting things to talk about, in a long-distance relationship, you really rely on conversation. When my boyfriend were in the same place a lot, our conversations were usually pretty short and we'd just kind of watch TV. I mean, we could always talk later. But with distance, you learn to rely on conversations with each other and really listen and share everything going on so that you can feel close. Source: Shutterstock.comYou Don't Take Them For Granted
It wasn't until my boyfriend and I were studying abroad in separate places that I realized how much I liked him - and we'd been dating a year. The distance was such a wake-up call. I like that in a relationship with distance, I don't get bored of him around or forget why I like him. Distance seems to make me see my relationship more clearly than when he's right next to me. Source: Shutterstock.comYou Aren't Picky With Dates
When close in distance, you might feel like you always end up sitting around together (which can get boring over time) or always going out and doing things (which can get exhausting and pricey over time). When you're separated by distance, both of these are always cool options when you finally are together. You're fine just getting to hang out because you never get to or you go out and do something fun to celebrate. Date night drama is limited! Source: Shutterstock.comYou Have Personal Space
I'm talking physically, having personal space in your life. Sometimes I just want to totally sprawl all over the couch with nobody around me. It's freeing to just be alone and enjoy the quiet and freedom. It's nice not feeling like I always have to be around another person, even if it's someone I love. While at times the "distance" in long-distance can be a burden, often I find myself enjoying it. Source: Shutterstock.comYou Become Independent
I feel like one of the reasons my BF and I work so well is because we've both become very independent people. I still like to hear his advice and input, but I don't ever doubt that I can't do things without him around. Our significant others can be great cheerleaders for us, but long-distance relationships are a good reminder that you have the strength to do and accomplish what you want. Source: Shutterstock.comHave you ever been in a long-distance relationship? What was the hardest part? Was there anything you actually liked about it? Tell us in the comments!
How to make a long-distance relationship work
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I’m in a LDR with a Norwegian, believe it or not we met through a game and it’s the best relationship I’ve ever had. I see him on video call nearly every night and I love every moment with him.
LDR are definitely worth a try
i am in a LDR with italian boyfriend (25)
we met in italy during my study abroad.
I think if your relationship is healthy these shouldn’t be issues:
-Value Conversations
-Have different experiences
-Don’t abandon friends
-Avoid “Date Night Drama”
///Personal Space & Independence ///
this is a good one to mention. people move in together too quickly! be careful!
you may not know what you are getting into, it turns sour a lot. Either you discover you are not such a good fit, you fight, you become too dependent…
~~~~~~~~~~and if this is a legitimate long term relationship, why rush? = )
(of course, italians don’t have this problem. They live with their family FOREVER. So spending the night is actually really complicated to arrange.) : /
/// Gratitude ///
Author is right, distance can give you a lot of perspective….and of course appreciation for simple things LIKE BEING ABLE TO TOUCH EACH OTHER.
Or actually looking in each other’s eyes at the same time, which you can’t do on skype. You have to take turns staring at the camera. : /
/// Serious!!!! ///
An LDR is serious…the amount of money, trust, time, and dedication it requires to travel to see each other makes your relationship heavier.
Marriage and Family Planning might start becoming part of your conversations.
I am currently in a long distance relationship. I live in North Carolina and my boyfriend lives in New Jersey but we’ve been together for 2 years and 4 months now and it’s because of communication and trust (=