What To Do If Your Boyfriend Wants You To Lose Weight For Him

Have you ever felt like you should lose weight for your boyfriend because he wants you to? If so, you’re probably not alone. According to a new study, almost 60 percent of people in relationships want their partner to lose weight. And they’re not just talking a pound or two – almost all of them want their partner to lose at least a stone (which roughly translates to about 14 pounds). Ugh. This study is a major bummer.

Unfortunately, this does happen in real life. So what are you supposed to do if your boyfriend drops major hints that he wants you to drop a few pounds? What are you supposed to do if he just comes right out and tells you to lose weight? No one wants to be told they should go on a diet… especially if that unwanted advice comes from someone they love and want to impress. Saying that to someone (unless their life literally depends on losing weight) comes out mean, superficial and degrading, no matter how nice you try to make it sound. And it stinks.

Here’s the deal: unless, like I said, your life is in jeopardy, your boyfriend should never ask you to lose weight for him. Ever. It’s rude, it’s mean and it’s not cool. A relationship is not all about looks – as corny as it may sound, your boyfriend should love you for who you are, not how much you weigh.

Even if you’ve gained some weight (and that can be normal when you start a new relationship), that still doesn’t give him the right to criticize you for it. Sometimes our weight fluctuates – there’s nothing wrong with that. I’m not saying you should go out and eat chips until you gain 15 pounds, no big deal, but gaining a little weight over the course of some time is nothing to beat yourself up over.

If your BF asks you to start hitting the gym, take a minute to think and try to stay confident. I know that can be a pretty big blow, but if you’re honestly happy with yourself and your body, then what he thinks shouldn’t change that. Let him know that you’re perfectly fine with your weight and you don’t appreciate what he just said. If you keep your self-esteem up and tell him off, he might figure out on his own that he’s being a jerk.

Should you break up with him over a comment like that? Maybe – that’s your decision. But if your BF starts messing with your self-esteem, that may be a sign that it’s time for the relationship to end. Your boyfriend should be one of the people in your life who makes you feel good about yourself for who you are. You should feel comfortable in your own skin around him. If he makes you feel awkward and unattractive, then you shouldn’t be dating him.

Always keep in mind that if you decide to lose weight, you should be doing it for you and no one else. You should never try to change your body or yourself to make someone else happy. One, it will never work the way you want it to and two, that’s not going to make you happy and that’s what’s most important.

Has your BF ever told you to lose weight? Have you ever felt like you had to lose weight for a guy? Tell us in the comments.


I Weigh More Than My Boyfriend

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  1. avatarAnother guy says:

    Why get upset because he’s pointing out the obvious? 99% of the time women complain about how they want there bodies to look different. The guy gives realistic advice on how to change said appearance. Guy turns into a shallow jerk.

    Why either party thinks “welp, the relationship is official, time to stop caring about how i look” is beyond me. Its pretty difficult to care about someone that doesnt care about themselves. You should want to be the best version of you for your partner, and if that means exercising 30 minutes a day and not eating a pint of ben and jerrys before bed, so be it. Besides if they arnt worth that little sacrifice, do you really even want to be with them?

  2. avatarGuy says:

    I have dealt with this exact situation recently. There is absolutely nothing wrong with a man expressing how he feels and what he would like, as long as he is not being abusive or telling her what she needs to do. I was honest with my wife that it bothered me she had gained some weight. For a few months I tried to dismiss it but it kept coming up in my thoughts. So I approached her in a loving manner and let her know my thoughts and feelings. I never told her she needed to change and I never asked her to either. Just expressed how I felt. It hurt her feelings of course and we talked about it. She made a decision to do something about it but even if she hadn’t I would still love her and I wouldn’t have brought it up again. There is nothing wrong with a man talking and being honest with his spouse/ best friend if something is bothering him no matter what it is. The wrong thing to do is tell her what she needs to do or making abusive comments to get her to lose weight. That has to be her choice.

  3. avatarscroogle says:

    My boyfriend has asked me to lose weight, i cant really pin down the times when he’s been positive and said “we should go excersise together! i want to tone up, so do you itl be great!” and weighing that up with “dont get mad but i want you to lose weight” or if im eating alot in a meal and have seconds he’s said “stop eating..(or you’ll gain weight)”, he once asked me if i was pregnant when i was heavier. I’m not trying to make him out like a bad guy, hes usually funny, caring and tells me I’m atractive. but his comments have effected my confidence (which has always been an issue as I have struggled with eating disorders and blah). I’m at a loss becuase I want to lose weight (I am 11 stone 6 but i excersise eat right and am not podgy) but I dont want him to control it.

    • avatarLaurens says:

      I am in a similar situation.
      I have been with my man for 5 years now and every now and then he will ask me to lose weight ‘because I could look so much better’. Until I was with him I felt very confident about how I looked but on days like this I look in the mirror and don’t want to eat. I love him, we talk about marriage and kids, but when something like this is so important to him I question if he is the right guy for me..

  4. avataryea says:

    What about women who ask their boyfriends to lose weight, shave themselves, etc? Talk about double standards. You think men should just accept whatever women do? Please!

    • avatarJessica Booth says:

      Can you let me know where we stated that women can ask men to lose weight/shave but men can’t ask women that? Because I don’t see how you came to that conclusion on your own.

  5. avatarP2 says:

    He always told me to weight loss,as his frns gf do

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