From The Message Boards: My Anxiety Is Out Of Control

To be really cliche, life is basically a big roller coaster of emotions. Some people deal with their emotions better than others. Some people have depression and anxiety, and some don’t. Mental issues have such a stigma and that nobody wants to talk about them. But we should be!

Well y’all are, so I’m really proud. This week I noticed there’s some chatter going on about anxiety and depression and what to do when you feel like it’s getting out of control. What did y’all have to say about the topic?

flamingoccm said:

I think you’d benefit from talk therapy. I personally call my mom or my best friend when I’m having an anxiety attack, but since you’re straining those relationships, I think you should consider a third party.

alegnatm said:

I’ve been dealing with anxiety recently. I got put on medication for it, which i believe has been helping. And I’ve been trying to do a bit of meditation. Or I at least try to listen to calm and relaxing music throughout the day (meditation radio on Pandora).

Like Flaming said, I would consider finding someone to talk to (someone you trust or possibly a counselor) because just going on a rant to someone about what’s going on can definitely help.
Exercise helps me as well, my anxiety usually has a lot of anger mixed in with it so I like to exercise to tire myself out.

stayclassy said:

Are you in school? If so, they should have counselors for free you can talk to. Talking it out definitely helps, even if it’s a close friend or family member.

Meditation has good long term effects and I’ve found that when I feel anxious, I use my meditation skills to control my breathing (take a few slow deep breaths) to calm down, and if possible, go out for a walk to get some fresh air and move a bit with the walking.

The thing about anxiety is that it’s not the same for everyone who has it. Same goes for depression. The trick is finding what methods work for you personally.

I’ve been dealing with anxiety for almost thirteen years, and it’s definitely been a struggle. I’m not on medication, although recently, I’ve considered it because I’m noticing that it’s getting worse as I get older. It’s something I have always monitored and debated. One of my triggers is medication, which is another issue I have to battle.

I do think that if you’re dealing with anxiety, depression, any mental issue or just feeling very overwhelmed, that you should talk to a therapist. The reason I’ve been able to last so long without medication is because of my therapist. It may take some trial and error to find one that fits, but having a trusted therapist to talk to is one of the best ways to deal with anxiety.

I came to learn triggers for my anxiety and ways that I could deal with them through my therapist that I never would have realized on my own. Having anxiety for me means that I get so caught up in my own head, and I can’t get out. My therapist pulled me out.

A therapist will go over all kinds of coping mechanisms from medication to meditation to playing word games (for my storm anxiety!) in order to find out what works for you personally. Anxiety isn’t a phase, it’s a mental issue that can be treated so the best thing is to seek treatment, whatever that method might be!

Do you have anxiety? How do you deal with it? Do you have a therapist? Tell me in the comments!

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  • supersad

    I have struggled with depression for 14 years. It’s a daily battle, sometimes I win and sometimes I lose. I have been in a relationship with a guy I really like who is 4 years younger than me. We have been together for a year and 5 months (minus a 2 month period where I had to dump him because he was being an idiot. But he came crawling back). In January I lost my job which I was in for about 8 months. It was a very senior role and a stretch, but I went for it because I’m ambitious. I was let go for performance reasons and it threw my whole world into disarray. New severe anxiety and low self esteem compounded my already difficult struggle with depression. I started leaning on my therapist much more and went on meds and then had to double the dose. I also reached out to my friends, family and boyfriend for help. I was extremely depressed and anxious, and everyone was really supportive. My boyfriend was amazing through the whole thing.

    Then when I finally was feeling great again, had 2 job offers coming and had really turned a corner emotionally (I was deep into the grieving process and had just hit the “acceptance” phase), he started acting weird for a couple days. I confronted him (softly) and he said he was unsure about our relationship and that he felt like I needed a lot of support. He wasn’t sure he wanted to have to go through all that again, and said he had been unhappy for a while, although he never told me any of this. Major lack of communication!! Note that he’s never been through any shock or “life event” like this before in his life. He couldn’t even look me in the eye and was crying while he said this. He said he wasn’t ready to talk about it (which is totally unfair… what am I supposed to do? Sit around letting him be cold and distant until HE’S ready to “talk”??). I told him how much I loved him and that his support had been amazing and that I was horrified to find out that I had been making him so unhappy. I told him how I had turned a corner in the last few days and that this was a life event and that this was the worst experience I had ever lived through and thing were getting better. I also said I really wanted to fix this and that I had been very clear throughout all this that he was my number one priority.

    In December we had talked about moving in together after the summer. How had things changed so much in 3 months? I admit I was really depressed and needed a lot of support, but isn’t a loving partner supposed to provide that for you and help you get through all these things? Isn’t this supposed to be a test to the strength of your relationship? I had done my best to spread my support needs between my therapist, family, friends and boyfriend. I got the professional help I needed. I was so excited to be through it and declare victory that we had made it through this horrible experience together!! Surely we’re a strong couple meant to make it!! Then he springs this on me. I’m devastated. Just when I started needing less support and was so ready to give back all that I had been getting, I feel like he’s giving up and running away.

    We haven’t officially called it quits, but how can I trust this guy to be there to support me through anything the same way I’d be there 1000% to support him? I love him very deeply and have been committed to him. When things are good, they are super good. But I see now that when things are bad, he may go running in the other direction. This time I don’t feel so broken (don’t get me wrong, I’m totally devastated), and I feel like I’m seeing his true colors as an immature coward. Relationships aren’t always sunshine and rainbows. Sometimes life throws wicked curve balls at you and a caring, loving relationship is supposed to help you deal with those. But knowing all this and being able to write it down doesn’t make me want to be with him any less. I really miss him, and if we eventually break up, I’ll have a hard time coping since we have the same friends.

    I don’t know what to do next. I have to see him tonight at soccer and we’re on the same kickball team so I’ll see him weekly. I am also getting my MBA part-time which adds to all this stress. I’m afraid I know the answer in my heart – that he’s just not ready or mature enough for a REAL relationship and everything that comes with it – good and bad. I know I need to sit and talk with him, tell him what I need, and be prepared to hear what my heart fears – that he’s not interested in a relationship that would require any real work (someday he’ll understand that they ALL do, but it’s a lesson he has to learn through maturing). It just makes me so sad that I have to be part of this lesson.

  • Abby T.

    I have OCD and anxiety. I don’t tell people about it, but it does affect my daily life. After struggling with the OCD and anxiety for weeks upon weeks, I slip into depression that lasts until the OCD starts again. I’ve seen a counselers, but he refused to diagnose me properly. Really? My advice to you is to say no. Don’t give into what your brain is telling you to do. (OCD) Take things out of your schedule that don’t need to be there. Take it easy.

  • cristal

    what is axyix

  • leadtothefuture

    My family has a long history of mental illness, and I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder when I was twelve after undergoing therapy. I was initially given a anti-psychotic to help, and over time, with the medication and many hours of therapy and many new coping mechanisms, I’ve come to a point where I can completely control my anxiety attacks. More recently I’ve been experiencing lots of depression, so I’ve been switched to an anti-depressant. I am now almost 19 years old.

    I guess what I want girls to know is that you are not alone. Ever. There are so many resources you can turn to when you need help, and a healthy, happy lifestyle is always a possibility in the future, no matter what you might feel now. I am actually working on public speaking to raise awareness of mental illness.