The term ghosting might be new, but the action certainly isn’t. People have been ghosting forever! In fact, that’s how my first boyfriend decided to break up with me once. Instead of having a conversation with me that things weren’t working, he disappeared.
At first, he wouldn’t get back to me for a while. He ignored texts for days. Days became weeks. And poof! He ghosted. I didn’t hear from him for months until he reappeared and wanted to get back together, which is a whole other story.
Ghosting is so frustrating because if something is going to end with a person, it’s much easier to deal with when you have an explanation. If you don’t know what went wrong, how are you supposed to learn and apply your newly-acquired wisdom to future relationships? It’s super difficult to get closure when someone just evaporates from your life.
Honestly, ghosting is a cowardly move. If you don’t want to talk to someone anymore or see that person, then you should buck up and tell them. Yeah, it’s hard to do that. But you will make that person’s life so much easier if you give some kind of explanation.
So how exactly should you deal with ghosting?
It depends! If you just started noticing some space and distance that wasn’t there before, you can bring it up. Ask if everything is alright. Take the initiative to start the conversation that they might be afraid to. You might be able to get them to open up and talk about their feelings.
Do not under any circumstances bombard a ghost. If they’re not responding to texts or calls, don’t keep texting and calling because that will push a ghost further away. Instead, take some space of your own. If they start coming back around, then you can bring up that they’ve seemed really distant and ask what’s going on.
If your ghost is already gone, it’s best to let them stay that way. As difficult as it is to not know what happened, ghost translates to jerk. You’re dealing with someone who doesn’t respect you enough to give you a reason why they want to end it, and that’s not cool. It’s not worth your time or emotions to keep asking for answers that you’re not going to get.
Hold your head up and move on. You’re not the problem in a ghost situation, I promise!
Have you ever been ghosted? What did you do? Have you ever ghosted someone? Tell me in the comments!