Boards
The term ghosting might be new, but the action certainly isn’t. People have been ghosting forever! In fact, that’s how my first boyfriend decided to break up with me once. Instead of having a conversation with me that things weren’t working, he disappeared.
At first, he wouldn’t get back to me for a while. He ignored texts for days. Days became weeks. And poof! He ghosted. I didn’t hear from him for months until he reappeared and wanted to get back together, which is a whole other story.
Ghosting is so frustrating because if something is going to end with a person, it’s much easier to deal with when you have an explanation. If you don’t know what went wrong, how are you supposed to learn and apply your newly-acquired wisdom to future relationships? It’s super difficult to get closure when someone just evaporates from your life.
Honestly, ghosting is a cowardly move. If you don’t want to talk to someone anymore or see that person, then you should buck up and tell them. Yeah, it’s hard to do that. But you will make that person’s life so much easier if you give some kind of explanation.
So how exactly should you deal with ghosting?
It depends! If you just started noticing some space and distance that wasn’t there before, you can bring it up. Ask if everything is alright. Take the initiative to start the conversation that they might be afraid to. You might be able to get them to open up and talk about their feelings.
Do not under any circumstances bombard a ghost. If they’re not responding to texts or calls, don’t keep texting and calling because that will push a ghost further away. Instead, take some space of your own. If they start coming back around, then you can bring up that they’ve seemed really distant and ask what’s going on.
If your ghost is already gone, it’s best to let them stay that way. As difficult as it is to not know what happened, ghost translates to jerk. You’re dealing with someone who doesn’t respect you enough to give you a reason why they want to end it, and that’s not cool. It’s not worth your time or emotions to keep asking for answers that you’re not going to get.
Hold your head up and move on. You’re not the problem in a ghost situation, I promise!
Have you ever been ghosted? What did you do? Have you ever ghosted someone? Tell me in the comments!
These breakup tips might help post-ghost
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Okay I am totally guilty of ghosting my last boyfriend. But in my defense we had no way of communicating over summer break (unless one of us just showed up at each others house which neither of us have ever done). When break ended I fully intended to continue our relationship but then I realized I didn’t really like having a boyfriend (I was just to busy all the time) so I just stopped going out of my way to say hi in the hall way. Its not like he made any attempt to talk to me or even say hi so it just kind of ended. In a way we both ghosted each other.
iv been ghosted and iv ghosted someone , i thnk the reason why i ghosted a few people is bcause i dont know exatly what is that i want from a guy. After (talkng) with someone and i find out that im not interested i dont know how to tell them without thinking im going to hurt someones feelings.
Wow…. I got friend-ghosted by my guy friend and I didn’t even know it. I *used* to have a huge crush on him, and I’m 99% sure he liked me in the very same way. But that’s besides the point.
Over the summer, he and I texted all day, everyday. We had been like best friends for about two years, but this was the highest point in the friendship that we had ever reached. Things were pretty intense; we flirted a LOT, both over text and personally when we hung out. I was pretty sure something was there.
I guess maybe not, though. Because it killed me when near the very end of the summer, he got a new girlfriend. I couldn’t believe it. I don’t know how it happened, nor do I want to know, because it would probably hurt me bad. I just hated myself for getting so attached to this guy and not recognizing that he probably didn’t feel that way about me if he had a girlfriend.
Though it broke my heart, I remained friends with him. He still “flirted” with me (idk, maybe he’s just a flirty guy), almost more than he ever had, giving me his jacket when I was cold, sitting so close to me that we were practically cuddling, etc. I regret this, however. Because I now realize that I was just being overly hopeful, wishing that I would get lucky and things would turn out for me. All I have to say about that is, good thing his girlfriend lives a far way from where i am. Shes jealous and probs would have killed me if she saw.
Anyways, slowly he began to cut off contact with me. I knew something was up when he stopped texting me everyday. And I should of acted on it. But I’m rather shy and I can’t really deal with conflict all too well. So I ended up not confronting him with it. Huge mistake.
Now, he doesn’t ever talk to me. It’s as if we’ve never met each other in our entire lives. And secretly, it kills me inside. But lately, he seems like a completely different guy. He used to be caring, sensitive and understanding. He used to be like me, not all that popular, but still okay with it. And thats what i loved about him. But now, he is one of the most popular guys in school. He talks to everyone, well, except for me. He has said he never changed, but deep down, I know he has.
For now, I only know he’s being a jerk. Sometimes, I think about him, and get really sad. I think about what could have been. But then I remember how he treated me. And I promised myself that for whatever reason, if he happened to break up with his girlfriend and come running back to me (doubt it), I would decline. He would have to work really hard to earn my trust again. I just hope that one day he sees how much he really hurt me, and that he’ll regret it.