Will People Be Able To Tell When You Lose Your Virginity?

Hi Heather,

I’ve been with my boyfriend for a while now and I really want to lose my virginity to him. I feel ready. The problem is… my mom. She thinks I’m a saint and that I’m not going to lose it until I’m, like, 30. I would do it behind her back or something, but she notices everything about me. Some people say when you eventually do lose your virginity, you walk differently and your body changes. I’m scared that she’s going to notice that I did the dirty deed. What should I do?

Good news, girl: I seriously doubt your mom is going to be able to tell when you’ve lost your virginity just by looking at you… unless she has superpowers, that is. In that case, you might be in trouble.

There are a lot of virginity myths out there and what you’re talking about happens to be one of them. Once you have sex for the first time, it’s not going to be obvious to anyone around you. You’re not going to walk differently for days after. You may be hurting a little bit, but that shouldn’t affect the way you’re walking – and if the sex really is that painful for you, that might be an issue to talk to your doctor about. Your body isn’t going to start transforming right in front of your eyes, either. Here’s what happens when you lose your virginity: your hymen breaks. Or sometimes it doesn’t, if it already broke from something else in the past.

The only way your body will change drastically after having sex for the first time is if you get pregnant or get an STD or STI. And those three things can easily be prevented by wearing a condom.

Awesome news, right? Look, if you feel ready to lose your virginity to your boyfriend, then go for it. Honestly, your mom is probably never going to want you to have sex. Why would she want that? You’re her daughter! But when it comes to stuff like this about our bodies, we need to do what we want and not what others want.

Keep in mind that you shouldn’t be made to feel guilty about having, and enjoying, sex – even from your mom. Sex is a part of life and it’s something your mom is going to have to eventually accept. Sex is also personal. You don’t have to tell your mom if you don’t want to! For now, focus on figuring out if losing your virginity is something you definitely want – don’t focus on whether or not your mom will be able to tell.

take care,
Heather

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Posted in: Help Me Heather, Love Advice
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44 Comments

  1. avatarSmall gal says:

    I had a boyfriend after sex he just left me so i have a big stress

  2. avatarsanaya says:

    hi i am 17 years old and had sex when i was 15 i will not get married to my boyfriend but willl my future husband after marriage get to know weather i have lost my virginity or not? i am really scared i have had sex more than 20 times…..

    • avatarobviousanswers says:

      Yes he will. He will be able to feel it in most cases. And he will be able to tell by your reactions

    • avatarstrategist says:

      Not necessarily. Time the sex when you have your period or better still on the last day of your period. The bleeding then is minimal because your periods have almost finished. That way it will appear that you have bled because he had sex with you. Bleeding with first time sex is very minimal anyway. That way he wont be able to tell. Also pretend that it hurt when he penetrates you and keep asking him to go gently.
      But, if you feel “loose” when he penetrates you that might make him suspicious. Look, you can tell him that you masturbate a lot and you use objects and hence you are a “loose fit” Only volunteer that information if he asks or you can just bring it into your conversation if he doesnt mind chatting about such topics.
      As far as I am concerned, dont tell him about your ex bfs and your sexual history. Not his business. That is something for you to remember and cherish. That was your life before he came into your life.

  3. avatarNthabiseng says:

    i luv ths site very much it has become my best friend,because i cn write anything i want nd i also get sum cool answers.i reckon that most teenagers should visit this site.im a 15year old gir nd i date a guy aged 19 i really love him he is so cool,so my problem is everytime wen im wit him we do oral-sex cz i told him that im nt ready and he understand.so wat must i do to show him dat i really luv him?

  4. avatarKaty says:

    I just want to correct something really quick. Magus said you become attached to your first and that’s wrong! You don’t always become attached and I hate went people say that most likely trying to scare you. I wasn’t attached to mine but you should still be careful who to do it with, you don’t want to give something that’s suppose to be special to someone who doesn’t deserve it.

    • avatarApril says:

      Katy you are so right. There is such a lot of rubbish that is said and I agree it is probably to scare those who are planning on losing their virginity.
      I was 14 when I lost mine and 3 of my very close friends lost it at the same time. It happened when we were away from home on a school trip. When we were in town we met some guys at the Museum. They were back home on vacation from University. We got chatting and then things started. We all looked older than 14 and so no one asked us our ages. All 4 of us lost our VCard that day. We had a lot to discuss later and though we liked the guys, I dont think there was too much of an attachment. it was a great experience.

      • avatarlina says:

        so these guys were complete strangers? or did you know them before?
        Were you scared?
        I guess there was 4 of you so it was cool.

  5. avatarmedic says:

    Experiencing love-making for the first time can be scary, yet it constitutes the first step towards emotional, physical and ideological liberation on condition that it is done with a caring, loving partner. Despite how difficult it might be to get prepared for this experience, especially when your parents are conservative on this issue, be confident that you can ALWAYS find a SAFE way to proceed. Remember to use double protection (=a combination of condoms and contraceptive pills or other) when engaging in sexual activities and if you are not certain of the virginity of your partner, I advise you to ask him to test for STDs. I know it is difficult to have access to birth control, but you definitely can. It is your body, your decision, your choice, your feelings. Do not let anybody brainwash into believing in the dirty side of sex! Before becoming sexually active, explore your body, masturbate and see in what ways your body can pleasure you! It is in this way that you build a responsible attitude towards sex, rather than through inhibitions. Good luck!

  6. avatarMagus says:

    I meant that, a person who loves you would not pressure u into sex

    • avatarNthabiseng says:

      hi im Nthabiseng i agree wit u if sum1 claims 2 luv u he/she wont pressurised you cz they respect ur decision.

  7. avatarMagus says:

    Listen and listen good. I am a 23yr old guy and still a virgin. Sometimes parents do really know what’s best for us, and sometimes they maybe wrong. However regarding virginity, the best time you can only loose it is during marriage. The reason is, when you have sex for the first time, you are doing something to your body. Your body will experience something new. It will not change physically, but your thoughts will change. If your parent is good, they may notice.

    You see, when you have sex for the first time, with another person, there is no going back. You will be permanently attached to that person. The bad part comes in when that person disappoints you, and they leave you. In the mean time you will be still permanently attached to him/her. That’s why they say, ‘there is no one like the first’.

    Sex was intended to show affection for the one you love. This should be done during marriage. 100% of couples who had sex with their mate for the first time in their lives, never leave each other, because of the new bond that is made. Now if you already start a bond with someone else before marriage and they leave you, how will you be able to have a health relationship with another person? That is why so many marriages fall apart. I know that sometimes we as humans do make mistakes, and may learn from them.

    I have seen many people who say that the 1st person they had sex with was a big mistake, and that next time they will wait until marriage. So learn from these examples. I know its hard trust me am a guy, but I do hold myself.

    Please listen to your parents on this issue, you will not loose anything. let others who want to, do it. Don’t let your friends or your boyfriend or girlfriend pressure you. If they truly love you, then they would’nt pressure you.

    • avatarGlenn says:

      U’re correct my broda keep it up.d most important tin is dat u fear God.

      • avatarLisa says:

        So true Magus….Wish that everyone could agree with you. But thats not going to happen…ever.By the way i’m virgin and can relate…) Thanks for sharing this and Good Luck with your studies.

    • avatarTwinkles says:

      What kind of advice is this Magus.
      Having sex is about choice.
      Okay you advice girls to wait till marriage. What guarantee do you have that the guy is a virgin too?
      What if the marriage breaks up like most marriages these days?
      When you have sex for the first time with any new partner the feeling is the same.
      I agree sex feels better if you are emotionally attached but it is not necessary to be married to be emotionally involved.
      You need to be named Fr. Magus for trying to propagate your ideas.
      They may be good but seriously this is a kind of brain washing strategy especially when differing views are not published and censored.
      No one is suggesting they succumb to pressure to have sex.
      But sex before marriage is not a bad thing.
      Parents think they know what is good for us only because they want to protect themselves not because things are good for us. They cannot accept the fact that kids want to have sex when they have a partner and that more teens are exploring their sexuality early.
      Quite often kids do that because there is no family stability or good parental influences. Parents are divorced and selfishly have their own lifestyles they choose neglecting the emotional needs of their kids. Why then is it right for parents to tell us what to do or what not to do. They need to set a good example first. Just look at the amount of infidelity and divorce rates and the subsequent emotional instability that kids have to experience.
      Is that a good thing? No. So then why cant a girl go out and find a boyfriend who will give her that emotional support?
      When you preach and try and brainwash minds try and be balanced Fr.Magus.

      • avatarMagus says:

        I meant that marriage shouldn’t be taken lightly as just a ceremony. I wish I had more time to talk with all of you but am limited as I get back to my studies in October.

    • avatarMoonGoddess says:

      LOL Magus, what is your definition of love?
      If sex was intended to show affection for the one you love, then is that concept something that animals believe in?
      How has the word Love evolved and come into existence Magus?
      Where did you get those stats about 100% of those who have sex for the first time never leaving their mates?
      What a load of hogwash. You are terribly ignorant and you are misleading everyone.
      Marriage is just a ceremony. Why do you need a ceremony to be in love and to have sex? You can be committed to each other without going through marriage.
      You are 23 and still an idiot?

      • avatarMagus says:

        First of all am not a Fr, neither am I Catholic. I am not imposing anything on anyone. I just want people to be happy with the choices they make. If you wish to continue in your way, then so be it. But however, keep in mind and distinguish yourself from an animal, and am not calling any you animals.
        I just hope in the future you may see what i mean. My stat of 100% of couples must have come out strong. What I meant is that MOST TO ALMOST all who do it before marriage never break up.
        Ya i know you may not find a virgin, but the thing here is about being true to yourself.
        Marriage should be taken lightly as just a ceremony. It is a bond between you and your mate. What you see in most cases are ceremonies yes, but between the couples, they vowed to be 1. A family, probably before the ceremony that you see. The ceremony that you see, is to everyone that ‘hey we love each other till death’.

        Hence for me to choose not to have sex before marriage is not idiocy, but me knowing myself. So don’t get offended by what i have just said. If you really want to seem wise and do it, then go ahead. But remember, if it is against what you have been taught by your so called parents or by your church, mosque, Buddhist teachers or Jewish teachers, then my friends you are not true to yourselves.
        I fear that if you have sex casually then it will loose its purpose.

        I know that because i have said this you will still get angry. I only say this because i love you guys. Please take care of yourselves.
        And as someone in the medical field, i will advise that if you do choose to have sex, please use a condom carefully.
        I if you have made a mistake and fall pregnant, there are after morning pills you can take, although i don’t advise abortions. Also it’s best that you know your mate’s HIV status, so that you continue to trust each other.

        Please take care, I hope you see the bigger picture in the future.
        (I AM NOT IMPOSING ANYTHING ON ANYONE)

        • avatarSnuggles says:

          Look what you are saying has some relevance. But by no means should you make it the norm.
          Sex is FOR procreation and IS pleasurable for that very reason. SEX is a function. If you say you are a medical person then you of all people should know that there is no moral or ethical relevance and basis for this bodily function. It is a function and just that.
          Sweet emotions around sex is important because it makes it feel more enjoyable and also builds condfidence in the female, because, that provides the emotional security for pregnancy as a necessity, only because pregnancy is seen as a vulnerable period in a womans life especially with another life within, her that she is carrying. Security in this situation is extremely important. In animals this bonding happens till the offspring can fend for themselves. Then the parents part and mate again with a dominant male that provides the security for the female he impregnates.
          Now another aspect is you seperating humans from animals. This is the arrogance of the human race to believe we are not animals. We ARE animals that belong to the speciel “mammalia” Our whole biology and behaviour is animalistic but as humans we have structured our lifestyle and have imperatives and impositions artificially made. This then conflicts with our innate animalistic behaviour and thats why we now have crime. Behaviour has been modified and imposed and of course biology DOES not obey man made rules.
          I am not annoyed with your comments. Just that I am surprised that you as a medical person have not been able to grasp this simple concept.
          Sex is NORMAL, NATURAL and perfectly okay to engage in at ANYTIME after puberty and whomsoever your biology deems it is okay to have sex with.
          It is important though to protect yourself from pregnancy and STDs.
          This is what education needs to impart, not that sex is wrong and must not happen till you are of legal age. What the F*** is legal age??? Who decides that? The law? well let me tell you, many many many teens are breaking the law all the time. Do they think the law is relevant – well not really!!!

          PLEASE SEE THE BIGGER PICTURE FR. MAGUS

    • avatarVictoria says:

      Twinkles, thats his opinion. He’s not trying to “brain wash” us. First of all, he is just stating his opinion and second of all, it’s impossible to brain wash a person.

      • avatarlibby says:

        Victoria, have you read all of what Magus has posted. Having read all of his posts you tell me that he isn’t on a brain washing mission?? wow, you must be really naive. Yes it is his opinion. I have my opinion too and so do you as everyone else. There is too much of brainwashing in society these days. Why arent we allowed to make decisions without being told what we must and we must not do. I agree it may not be obvious that someone is trying to brain wash us. But, just be more open and try and understand what his agenda is.
        Why do we need this paternalistic advice? Why is sex demonised especially when girls want to be sexually active? Why are girls expected to be “pure?” Why do us girls agree and perpetuate such restrictive advice that is channelled only to girls? Dont you see a problem with this kind of crappy advice? Why not target guys?
        You tell me it is impossible to brain wash smeone? mmmm.. you take the cake for being naive!!

        For centuries girls have been forced, urged, made to conform and restricted, putting a moral price and virtue on their virginity. Guys on the other hand are commended for their sexual exploits, even sometimes encouraged. You think that is good??

  8. avatarNoora A. says:

    I think that this issue generally has so many opinions and arguments I personally like to look at each one’s opinion from a different angle and not accuse anyone of their opinion because it may have a story behind it that we don’t know. For the mothers that are not supporting this idea and refusing to accept it, I think that u should talk to ur daughters and try to understand them and try to work things out. If u don’t come to an agreement then let her do what ever she wants because surely u cannot just lock her inside of the house and stop her from doing it. And for all the girls out there I just think that u should consider what ever u r willing to do well and and be safe and enjoy!

    P.S- I enjoyed reading the comments & everyone’s opinions:)
    BTW i an almost 16 and a virgin.

  9. avataraswini says:

    i lost my verginity at age 20 i have done sxe 12 times with my boy friend so now how can i tighten my vagina

    • avatarVictoria says:

      I don’t think you were ready to lose it if you can’t even spell “sex” and “virginity”. Also, you “do” sex, you “have” sex.

  10. avatarCaroline says:

    Well I’m 16, and ive never really thought about sex until all of my friends started becoming sexually active. I had always feared becoming a teen parent but after seeing all my friends having protected sex and NOT getting pregnant I started becoming intrigued. So when my long time crush who I’ve know for over ten years and who is always there for me when I need him asked me if I’d like to take our relationship to the next level I was extatic. And of corse him being a teen guy is ready to have sex. I really want to, it’s not that I’m uncomfortable with the idea, it’s just I’m so scared my luck ill get pregnant even with a condom. I know how to properly use one. And there’s no way I can go on birth control bc I can’t tell my parents. Please help

  11. avatarBlessings says:

    I TRULY LIKE THIS WEB.IT GIVES US BACK OUR PRIDE WITHOUT REGRETING.I AM ALMOST 16YRS AND LOST MY VIRGINITY A WEEK AGO AND I SAW SOME AWESOME ADVISES ON THIS WEB . . .GALX REALY NEED TO BE COMFORTABLE ON WHAT THEY DO AND US GIRLS NEED SOME SUPPORT BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY OUR PARENTS WONT LIKE US BEING SEXUAL ACTIVE . . .WHEN I LOST MY VIRGINITY IT WAS KINDA PAINFUL AFTER THAT NIGHT I WOKE UP BLEEDING AND I THINK THAT WAS MY PERIOD FOR 6 DAYS. . . MY BOYFRIEND IS A SUPPORTIN LIL GUY WHO REALLY DIGS ME I JUST DONT WANA LOOSE HIM YET,SINCE HE’S MY VIRGIN BREAKER

  12. avatarClaire says:

    It isn’t obvious when you lose your virginity. It is not as if a neon sign is hooked up announcing that fact to the world..LOL..
    No one will know if you dont tell anyone. Girls are not as discreet as guys and will talk and share. This then spreads.
    If it feels right go and do it. It is the best experience you will have provided you have a nice guy, he has no STDs, you engage in plenty of foreplay and oral sex and you take your time and are nice and relaxed. It DOESNT hurt if you are really well lubricated and that happens if you cum several times before he actually penetrates you. That’s where you need an understanding guy. Mine was an older, more mature, experienced guy who was the most patient, reassuring and extremely sexy. Dont have any fears or anxiety. That will ruin the whole experience. Make sure just the two of you are there. Get a place where you can relax and take your time and dont have to rush anything. Have a shower together and wash yourselves. That is a big turn on and a very nice way to begin.

  13. avatarDana says:

    I just came across this page and I had to comment:
    I am absolutely thrilled that there are advice pages like this for young women beginning to explore their sexuality! How fantastic! It is about time that we stop demonizing sex- if done with consent and done safely there is no need to feel guilty.
    (Note: by consent I mean REAL consent- both sides are ready and wanting, not doing it because they feel pressured)
    It is insane that we condemn sex, it only makes younger couples more hesitant to ask about or get some form of birth control. Rather than teaching teens that sex is wrong, we should be teaching them that it is absolutely normal AND that it requires a great deal of consideration. Condoms are a must and females should absolutely consider getting an additional form of birth control just in case (when male bc pills/implants are available then they should as well).
    Don’t confuse this with me encouraging young people to have sex – like I said, sex should ONLY happen when both parties are ready mentally and have the necessary forms of protection. I AM encouraging the rest of us to respect other peoples’ choices and create an environment of acceptance, and most importantly education so that those new to their sexuality feel comfortable asking questions, can get advice, and know what they need to protect themselves against and how to do it.
    Anyway, I just wanted to applaud this response- it is so nice to see somebody empowering young women rather than shaming them!

    • avatarmarissa says:

      Dana, your response was so good. I agree we have to stop demonising sex and sexual activity. It is something so normal, natural and a function of our body, yet we believe we must control those urges, repress sexuality and delay your first sexual experience. In that way we becme validated by society because we fit the societally imposed norm.
      About “being pressurised” it all depends on how you look at it. To have sex one needs to initiate the thought and the other partner needs to agree. When it is your “first experience” there is always an element of fear, anxiety, nervousness and apprehension and it does take a bit of coaxing and encouraging from the other partner to help progress the act of sexual penetration. Would you consider that “pressure?” Even the art of seduction when you have soft lights, nice music, an expensive dinner at the best restaurant, are all means of getting the confidence of the other person so intimacy becomes easy ( will you walk into my parlour said the spider to the fly!!). Surely one can look at even this sophisticated method and call it “pressure” Instead, this is given the sweet term “wooing.” Isn’t society so terribly wrong??
      To me pressure is the use of emotional blackmail, force, physical abuse, drugs and alcohol.
      We must make that very clear because anything can be considered pressure. That term is very ambiguous and undefined.
      With any thing, the first time is always daunting. With help that becomes more do-able. There may be an element of coaxing or gentle encouragement, foreplay and heavy petting, which by virtue of providing pleasurable sensations and sexual arousal leads to loss of initial inhibitions and loss of self control which lets the girl to allow herself to be sexually penetrated. This by itself is NOT being “pressurised” into doing the act. We must be clear and make that clear.
      Sometimes, the act is done and thoroughly enjoyed by both, and then guilt creeps in. There is then a situation where a lot of blame is thrown at the guy because through guilt somehow the girl wants to apportion blame on the guy which for some reason gives her a sense of reprieve and absolution. Now that is not fair especially if force and other forms of exploitation havent been used.
      Girls need to understand this.

    • avatarally coble says:

      THANK U I JUST NEED THAT!!!!!!!!!!! My boy frand and i JUST hade sex less than a month ago and was scard at first but we did what u sade and it bearly hurt at all.

      • avatarinnocence says:

        Marissa and Dana, your explanations are beautiful. Why cant everyone think so clearly like you guys do? I wish every girl read your posts so they can understand how things work. This is great!! well done to the both of you. Thanks so much

  14. avatarbabyblues says:

    my parents are very upfront with me about sex. They told me that they know that I am going to have sex, they hope its when Im marriage, but they said it probably wont be. They also told me that they do not want to know when I do. My parents told me that as long as I keep it in a private place, it’s okay just be safe and use a condom. I’m seventeen and still a virgin. My parents have done no wrong and did not tell me to go have sex. But, its the parents like Jen who will have daughters who are too insecure to talk to their mom about sex, and think that their mom will think that they are a whore. More than likely it will happen before marriage. Teenagers have raging hormones. Get over it.
    I <3 Gurl. Gurl is a great website that educates girl about their bodies, emotions, and gives them somewhere to go if they have a problem. Gurl teaches gurls to be safe and to be true to themselves.
    go gurl!!!

    • avatarjigar says:

      your Comment is absolutely right
      c its good to talk with your parents abt sex they are d best 1nce to explain you properly about whole process whts good and whts bad, i just wanna say having sexx is nt bad but according to me sex is not a joke or fun thing to do its should be only wid the one whom u love or u feel to b with him or her forever its not good to have enjoy it wid every other guy or girl, i personally feel its bad having sex with evry other person different times, being a virgin n having many girls who are ready to have sex m nt getting interest to go for that, i feel it should be for 1 who will trust me in future or depends on me after marriage, i wish to get a girl who is virgin but 2nd thought is that now a days no 1 seems to be perfect even if she would have lost her virginity i would just forget the past and look to future… it feels boring to write all this bt point was to say that its good to keep it for the only 1who can v wid u ever n gives himself or herself completely to you. that wen your sex goes perfect for each n every time, having wid every one makes u fall down in your own eyes after some times.

  15. avatarFizabel says:

    Honestly? Girls need advice like this. Moms freaking out scare us, and we do what we feel we are ready for but always in paranoia. This “fear” constantly looming in the back of my mind has caused some major issues. Waiting for marriage does not guarantee anything-that the guy will be honest with you, or gentle with you, or even clean without STD’s. Things are not the way they used to be a few generations back (the way our parents and grandparents tell us it was). It seems like back then teenagers were treated more as adults, and that seems to be exactly what we need, and exactly how this post is treating the girl who asked the question. And it’s not like a girl can just hop to the nearest Planned Parenthood for some support. When my mom found out about me getting a cervical examination she could not stop sobbing. And I am 20. I am always worried something might trigger the emotions again. I am literally living on eggshells, and I can’t wait to move away. Some girls are just more curious and “independent” than others, and we end up smacked with the scarlet letter. I remember being 16 and thinking being a grown up was so full of exciting mysteries. Ironically, parents telling me to be careful and putting airs around the whole “marriage” and “bond between man and woman” thing is exactly what made me want to grow up and take risks because I thought it was exciting and heck, being a teenager in comparison seemed boring. (I do believe marriage is sacred despite what I say.) We love our moms dearly, but I wish they could see us more as the growing, nasty, biological humans we are than as little angels. I feel so lonely because of this. And i feel for all the girls out there who go through the same. Instead of bringing us closer, parental fear only tends to alienate us more. I know moms are afraid of us missing out on life because of a pregnancy, or an STD, or heartbreak, And you can tell us to wait all you want, but nothing changes the hurt, through marriage, divorce, breakups, death. Pain is a part of life, just teach us how to embrace it so we can live gracefully. That’s it. Thanks. Just accept us and i promise we will listen to you all more.

    • avatarangela says:

      Very well articulated Fizabel.
      I loved the comments from ‘babygirl” too.
      Nice to know there are some of us who think differently and progressively.

  16. avatarAlex says:

    She wasn’t promoting her virginity loss OR lying to her mother, only to do what’s right for her when she’s ready AND to be safe about it!

    P.S. I’m a parent of a teenage daughter. And no, I’m not thrilled about the idea of her virginity loss – but I’m glad to know websites like this one exist in case she’s too uncomfortable coming to us for information (we try to arm her with anyway).

  17. avatarJessica Booth says:

    We’re just encouraging her to do what feels right for her. We’re not encouraging her to lose her virginity or lie to her mother – we’re just encouraging her to do what she’s comfortable with, since this is her body and ultimately her decision.

  18. avatarJen says:

    Unbelievable! Telling a young girl to lose her virginity!!! This website is a joke! All you “adults” should be ashamed of yourselves!!!! (speaking to the young girl) honey, please don’t go through with it, you will regret it and your mom will know. You’re very young and have time for all that. Being married first before you have sex is the best, but at least wait till you’re older. If you want to have a close relationship with your mom don’t lie to her. More than likely you’ll have a husband when your mom passes away. Spend time with her now. Boys come later.

    • avatarmubbasher shah says:

      what an absured website is it on which a girl is advised to make just enjoyment on back of her mother.just for relaxation of body you are going to decieve such a sacred relation of you mother…!!!shame for all of us….you’ll remind your mother’s wish of not loosin virginity when you’ll get marry and your husband will not satisfy with your past….my advice is there plz obey your parent always…..boyfriend will enjoy and leave afterward…if your boyfriend and you want to have sex then you should marry its quite approperiate way of enjoying…in this way your mom will happy and the happines of parents is the best thing in the world….

    • avatarbabygurl says:

      What a load of crock Jen. I agree with Heather and jessica booth. There is too much negativity these days. Why should anyone regret having sex if there is a positive side to it. Why does one have to wait for marriage? How does waiting for marriage make it right? Will I be guaranteed that the guy I marry will never have had sex too? Arent you just a bunch of old fashioned idiots who like to stifle expression or freedom. Why should her mom know. This is her body, her emotions her life. Give her the tools to deal with the situation. When a girl starts asking these questions, remember she will start becoming sexually active very soon. Telling her NOT to do it wont stop her. Telling her she will regret what shes done will NOT stop her. Those are outmoded ways and a form of control that parents exert because they cannot handle the fact that their child is sexually active. Let me tell you, there are so many 12 and 13 yr olds who are doing it or having sexual experiences one way or the other. They dont tell their parents because they will get responses like yours. The least you can do is to prepare her for things like STDs and pregnancy. Let her decide if she wants to have sex or not. The best way to encourage a girl to go out and be sexually active is to try and control her or give her bullsh** advice like you want to. Girls will rebel and will do it behind your back. Do you want that happening. This is the reality. Get with the times. I lost mine at 12 with someone who was in university. No one knows and my mom doesnt know still. I dont think she would have been able to handle the fact that I was having sex with an older guy. I loved it. I enjoyed it. The emotions were awesome. I dont regret it at all.

    • avatarkenya says:

      shut the hell up.

    • avatarGirlicious-1 says:

      you do realize shes not telling her to HAVE sex, that’s not her decision she just trying to guide her if she DOES decide to go on with it. its her body not yours. if shes ready then you can’t stop her.and this website is actually is not joke it has empowered me as a 13 year old and is giving advice to young girls not to feel bad about themselves and to just enjoy life and live to be beautiful young adults we can be. this website is awesome so if you old- fashioned bats dont like it then leave. -_-

    • avatarpriya says:

      the only comment that I have is this website is not a joke is about teaching us, telling us how life goes.

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