Will People Be Able To Tell When You Lose Your Virginity?

Hi Heather,

I’ve been with my boyfriend for a while now and I really want to lose my virginity to him. I feel ready. The problem is… my mom. She thinks I’m a saint and that I’m not going to lose it until I’m, like, 30. I would do it behind her back or something, but she notices everything about me. Some people say when you eventually do lose your virginity, you walk differently and your body changes. I’m scared that she’s going to notice that I did the dirty deed. What should I do?

Good news, girl: I seriously doubt your mom is going to be able to tell when you’ve lost your virginity just by looking at you… unless she has superpowers, that is. In that case, you might be in trouble.

There are a lot of virginity myths out there and what you’re talking about happens to be one of them. Once you have sex for the first time, it’s not going to be obvious to anyone around you. You’re not going to walk differently for days after. You may be hurting a little bit, but that shouldn’t affect the way you’re walking – and if the sex really is that painful for you, that might be an issue to talk to your doctor about. Your body isn’t going to start transforming right in front of your eyes, either. Here’s what happens when you lose your virginity: your hymen breaks. Or sometimes it doesn’t, if it already broke from something else in the past.

The only way your body will change drastically after having sex for the first time is if you get pregnant or get an STD or STI. And those three things can easily be prevented by wearing a condom.

Awesome news, right? Look, if you feel ready to lose your virginity to your boyfriend, then go for it. Honestly, your mom is probably never going to want you to have sex. Why would she want that? You’re her daughter! But when it comes to stuff like this about our bodies, we need to do what we want and not what others want.

Keep in mind that you shouldn’t be made to feel guilty about having, and enjoying, sex – even from your mom. Sex is a part of life and it’s something your mom is going to have to eventually accept. Sex is also personal. You don’t have to tell your mom if you don’t want to! For now, focus on figuring out if losing your virginity is something you definitely want – don’t focus on whether or not your mom will be able to tell.

take care,

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Posted in: Help Me Heather, Love Advice
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  • Caramellokido

    Hey, me and my boyfriend who are both 15, really want to lose our virginities but I’m scared of my mom knowing and getting into massive trouble. I don’t know what I should do, do it and keep it secret???

  • zase

    I recently lost my virginity to my boyfriend; and one important thing I wish to mention, which by the way has little to do with morals or ethics, is the extreme exchange of energy that takes place between people. If for example, the woman is more in love than the man, she will end up giving more energy than receiving , and become exhausted rather than charged during intercourse. Unfortunately that was the case for me. It has serious side effects, and I struggled just to work my full time job and school. I’m struggling to regain the energy I had for my hobbies and my life that I desperately need to maintain in order to achieve my goals and to pay rent, and I only hope that anyone looking to lose their virginity will take this into consideration. Previously I could do crossfit 7 times a week, work 5 8 hr days, and do schoolwork at night. And now it’s a struggle just to hold my job. There is no such thing as regret for me; I chose what I chose, and he respects and cares for me, but I will not sacrifice my health in this fashion for any relationships to come.

  • Jahh

    Are you still a Virgin if the tip of his penis enters you ??

    • eyeamnicegirl

      No more virginity for you. Once it sticks it’s head in the door, you are no longer a virgin. Should have just gone all out and enjoyed it once you went that far.

  • Jesus

    How can I ask a question and where could I see the answer ? Please help , I have a question and I really need advice.

  • quintavia says

    OK ummm I wanna lose my v card but should I want it to be so special when I loseit

    • Beautyintheeyes

      Then that should be on your wedding night, to that special man whom you’ve decided to give your love forever

  • Love

    I was forced to have sex by ma x-boyfriend bt l didn’t allowed him cus l promise to keep my virginity until l get married. Bt due to the manner he force me to do it he was able to placed his penis on ma virgina and he tried 2 fit it 2 the right possition bt his penis could nt pass through it, please the question now is could dat act be refers to be sex?

    • Saige

      It’s not sex, it’s attempted rape, and you should make sure people know that he tried to do it to you.

    • Beautyintheeyes

      Not sex, he was trying to rape you if he was forcing you. You didn’t have sex with him, so it’s attempted rape as the person above me said. And good job girl! in keeping your virginity till marriage. You’re a gem!!

  • Aleahjean

    Omg i ques,.d0es ouR viRgNity ix imP0rtant?,.axKinq.,.

  • Brittney

    SO I lost my virginity about a week ago . and the day after that my stomach had been hurting . I had been gassy . my stomach was cramping very hard . I felt nauseated . I was bloated . and my nipples were changing . We had unprotected sex and I am very very scared .I looked it up and it said those could be signs that my period is coming .any advice . please help .

    • Orsolya Filip

      if you want to become a virgin again then try to use myotaut serum which is help you to get tight vagina and make it healthy vagina just like virgin girls i had also used that same product when lot my virginity with my office boss.

      • Beautyintheeyes

        She can never become a virgin again. She has HAD sex, so she cannot be a virgin anymore.

    • Gurllll

      I doubt it but I’m not sure