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When you become a duo, you have to stop only thinking for one and start focusing on how to compromise. It can be a hard thing to try and adjust to, but it’s often important for the sake of your relationship. That said, you don’t want to always be putting your partner’s needs ahead of yours every single time.
There are some things that you shouldn’t compromise on – namely those deal breakers you may have or anything that makes you feel uncomfortable or unsafe. In those situations, stick to your gut. However, a lot of times you may find yourself with a different idea for a date night or wanting to go to different events. The only way to both make sure you have a good time is to compromise. Here are eight tips to help you figure it out:
Express Your Ideal
If it's going to be a real compromise, it's going to need some honest input on your part. Start off by communicating your ideal situation. Here's an example: you want to spend your anniversary at your favorite restaurant for dinner and the new Nicholas Sparks movie with your guy. Being honest gives your partner a chance to hear what's important to you, and he can factor that in when brainstorming a compromise. Source: Shutterstock.comListen To His Wants
After you explained what your ideal anniversary date would look like, now it's his turn. Make sure you are actually listening. There could be some good ideas in there to incorporate that would make your compromise even better than your original plan. Overall, compromising is about two people, so it's important to hear what he would like to do before you start figuring out a plan. Source: Shutterstock.comThink About Flexibility
You now have said your piece and heard your BF. The next part is to think about what you're willing to be flexible on. What is most important about your ideal situation and why? List those out to put the most important elements of your idea in perspective. From there, you can see what elements are more up for swapping with your boyfriend's plans (and he should be doing the same). Source: Shutterstock.comMash-Up Your Plans
So you feel most strongly about going to dinner where you had your first date, and he feels strongly about going to this concert. A good compromise could be to put the movie on hold and agree to grab dinner together before heading off the concert. In this case, you get part of what you want, he gets part of his plan. Mash-ups though work great not just for specific nights. Maybe another issue you have is always hanging out with his friends or your friends. Why not try hanging out all as one big group? Blending together your mutual interests and ideas (and even friends) is a great way to reach compromise. Source: Shutterstock.comSchedule It Out
Another option is to compromise on timing, rather than activities. You really want that dinner and movie combo, but you're flexible on the exact night you go. Plan to do his ideal date with the concert this weekend, and then schedule your date plan for the next weekend. It lets each person get their way, without you feeling like you had to totally give something up to make it happen. Patience is a great tool for compromise. Source: Shutterstock.comCelebrate What You DO Get
A compromise might mean being flexible with your plans, but in the end, it makes sure everyone is happy. If you get to choose the movie and he gets to pick the dinner place, don't spend all of dinner pouting or wishing that you went to your pick instead. Instead focus on the positive outcomes from the compromise. You're getting to see that movie AND with your favorite person! By shifting your definition of what "getting your way" means, you'll be much happier in the long run. Source: Shutterstock.comReflect On The Compromises
You went through with your compromise plan. How do you feel about it after the fact? Was it successful? Awesome! It sounds like that strategy worked for you guys. Maybe though you feel like you gave up more for your BF's plans. You don't want that kind of resentment brewing in your relationship. Compromising is an art and takes a little practice with the give and take. As long as you are both open about what you want but also open to working things out, you're on track to be a compromising pro. Source: Shutterstock.comRemember Those Dealbreakers
Compromise is good in a relationship to make sure both people feel like their opinions are heard, but it's important to stress again that it's okay to have a few things that you won't budge on. If your BF is trying to get you to make a compromise when it comes to something like how far you guys go physically, that should be a big red flag. Some things shouldn't be compromised and if you feel pressure to compromise on those things, you may want to start reconsidering the relationship. Source: Shutterstock.comDo you think being able to compromise is important in a relationship? What are your tips for compromising with your partner? When do you think you shouldn’t compromise? Tell me in the comments.
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