Imagine meeting your best friend’s boyfriend for the first time only to discover that… you absolutely can’t stand him. Whatever the reason, you can’t stand to be near him – and meanwhile, your BFF is head over heels. You can’t help but wonder how an amazing chick like her can date, and like, such a loser dude.
Ugh. Disliking a friend’s boyfriend can be kind of the worst and unfortunately, it will probably happen to all of us at some point in our lives. You want to be supportive for your friend and her new relationship and her happiness, but how can you be when you hate her boyfriend? You want to be honest with her, but at the same time, you don’t want to lose her as your BFF. So what exactly are you supposed to do?
I’ve had more than enough experience in this department (my friend’s pick some real winners, let me tell you) and so I’ve come up with a few ways to deal with hating your friend’s boyfriend… because that lame dude is probably not worth losing your BFF over.
Think About Why You Hate HimOkay, why do you really hate this guy? Is It because he stole your bestie away from you or is it because he was rude to you once? Is it because he treats your friend badly? Before you do anything about this, you need a real reason why you dislike him. If it's because you just might be a little jealous (and it's okay to admit it!), then you need to try to get over that. If it's because you don't think he's a nice guy or he's just not someone you would ever be friends with, it's worth trying to smooth things over for your friendship. But if it's because he treats your friend badly, well, that's a whole other issue... that I'll get to later, promise! Source: ShutterStock
Give Him A (Second) ChanceMaybe you hate this dude because he gave a terrible first impression or because you just hate the way he lives his life. Whatever the reason, you might want to give him a chance (or a second chance) to redeem himself. Best case scenario? You just need to get to know him. Try hanging with them a few times and start up some convos with him. Find out more about him and try to feel comfortable. If it works, amazing! If not... well, keep reading. Source: ShutterStock
Try To Be PoliteOkay, so you tried to get to know this dude and all you discovered were more reasons to dislike him. Unless he's abusing your friend in some way or doing something bad behind her back, you just need to suck it up, deal with him and hope they'll break up soon. Unless, you know, you want to lose your bestie... and I don't think you do. You don't need to be this guy's best friend - you just need to be polite. Say hi when he's around, engage in a little chit-chat and focus mainly on your friend. Playing nice is hard but sometimes the most mature thing to do. Source: ShutterStock
Keep It To YourselfRemember what I said about being polite? Yeah, that also means keeping your hatred to yourself. Unless he's hurting her in some way, there's no need to tell her you can't stand her BF. You don't have to be super fake and act like you love him, but maybe don't be super honest unless you need to be. Also, don't gossip about it with other friends - if it gets back to your BFF, she'll flip. Source: ShutterStock
Avoid Him As Much As PossibleAll right, so you got to know him, hated him, tried to be polite, failed a little. Now's the time where you start avoiding this dude as much as possible. Ask your bestie for girl's nights instead of third-wheel hangouts and avoid talking to him whenever you don't have to. Source: ShutterStock
Don't Push Her AwayAll of that being said, you don't want to push your bestie away. If you really dislike her BF, she'll eventually be able to tell. Maybe you two shouldn't talk about him together. Don't pressure her into breaking up with him or bad mouth him every time you're with her. You may think this will make her want to dump him, but she's probably defensive about her boyfriend. All that stuff is going to do is make her annoyed with you. Source: ShutterStock
Talk To Your FriendRemember how I said if her boyfriend is hurting her in some way or treating her badly to do something different? Here it is. If your friend's boyfriend is abusing her, cheating on her, hitting on you - whatever - talk to her. Tell her you love her, you don't want to see her get hurt and you can't keep quiet about something like this. If she's in an abusive relationship, she'll need your support and it may take time for her to end things. But it is possible to stand by her side while also letting her know you don't approve of her BF. Source: ShutterStock
Do you hate any of your friend’s boyfriends? How do you deal with it? Would you be honest with your best friend if you didn’t like her boyfriend? Tell me in the comments.