This probably sounds silly, but my friends and family always tease me about not having a boyfriend. I’ve tried telling them I’m not ready and I don’t want one right now. I’m only 16-years-old and I want to be free and chase after my dreams. I am just not ready for what they see as normal: meet a guy, fall in love, get married. It seems like no one understands me. Please give me some advice!
Hey – for what it’s worth, I think it’s great that you don’t want a boyfriend right now. A lot of people get caught up in wanting a relationship so much that they can’t focus on the great things about being single and on your own: getting to do what you want. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be single and it’s definitely not cool that everyone is making you feel bad about it.
Before you flip out, consider the fact that your friends and family may not realize how much this is bothering you. The next time one of them says something, don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself and say something like, “Can you stop? This is really bothering me.” Let everyone know that you’re happy being single and you don’t plan on changing that anytime soon. The more firm you are and confident you are in your decision, the more they’ll back off.
At the same time, you can’t control everyone. If they want to make fun of you for not wanting a boyfriend, you may not be able to stop them. In that case, do your best to ignore their annoying remarks. If a few of your friends are really bothering you about it, maybe stop hanging out with them so much – if they see you’re really angry, they might back off. In fact, it may help if you get really angry once or twice – that might help get your point across. I’m not saying you have to scream at everyone, but letting your friends and family know how annoyed they’re making you might help.
As for your dating life, don’t ever let anyone pressure you into having a boyfriend. It sounds like you’re pretty set on what you want, which is good, but remember to continue to do what you want. Sometimes, people are going to think what they want regardless of how you feel. You need to learn to ignore those people and continue to do what makes you happy. It’s your life, not theirs!
What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at firstname.lastname@example.org