Ask A Guy: How Does Sex Feel For A Guy?

Hi Ethan,This might sound like a really weird question, but I really want to know. How does sex feel for a guy? Is it the same as the way it feels for a girl? What does sex feel like for guys?

Like warm apple pie.

Alright, that was gross. And I stole it from a movie.

But seeing as how plenty of my male friends have mentioned that they’d love to have a vagina for a day – just to see what it’s like – I can imagine many girls have wondered what it’d be like to pee, play, and have sex with a penis.

To best understand what it’s like without undergoing a magical Freaky Friday tradeoff, think of your clitoris as a much smaller, more highly concentrated penis. You’ve got almost twice as many sensitive nerve endings we’ve got in our manhood, but they’re packed into a tiny button. So a guy experiences similar sensations you do when touched or inside of a woman, but perhaps not as intensely.

While we all experience the same four phases in the sexual response cycle (excitement, plateau, orgasm, and resolution), it generally takes women much longer to climax, whereas it only takes most men two or three minutes. Biological hardwiring allows men to get aroused much more quickly, so give a guy a break if he’s a bit “quick to the draw.”

Perhaps the biggest difference between genders is that far more women are physically capable of having more than one orgasm within a short period while maintaining arousal. Most guys feel like they’ve just run a marathon immediately after ejaculation, and need at least a few minutes (or hours, when the sex takes you to outer space) before they can go again.

Another difference is that a female orgasm can last up three or four times longer than a male’s. Although we experience a quick, incredibly intense burst that ends completely after just a few seconds, ladies can enjoy a longer payoff (look at it as a trade-off for slower arousal time).

Quite a few women have also asked me how condoms affect sex for men. There’s no way around the fact that the additional layer which condoms provide do, in fact, decrease sensation. But I choose to look at delayed gratification as a pro rather than a con – the longer it takes for a guy to orgasm, the more time a woman gets to enjoy herself! And a happier lady means more sex for the guys. Remind your boyfriend of this the next time he tries to complain about condoms!

Good luck!

Ethan Fixell is a writer and comedian from New York City best known as one half of comic “dating coach” duo Dave and Ethan. He is also the creator and editor of For more on Ethan, visit…or call his mom, Robin.

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